Hey BLOND37.
I’m no yoga teacher nor a very experienced practitioner, I’ve been at it for a little over a year and a half. I usually don’t feel qualified to give advice, but Ill try this time because I feel I can relate to some of your questions and to some of the stress you are feeling. You said that your “…mind travels at a million miles an hour…”. I know what that like, I really do, but I don’t know what your mind is telling you.
Anyway, Ill share some of the things that helped me. If you feel my advice won’t help you, please feel free to disregard them, I’m not forcing anything on you.
Somewhere you asked what yoga is suppose to do. That is tricky, it depends on what you want to use it for. I think yoga should balance your life. When I started, I needed something to help me with my racing mind. Now, after a session on the mat, I feel a calm and peace that I didn’t knew was possible before.
Yoga is not about achievement. Its not about “doing” poses. Its about “being”. Just be in the poses and observe yourself, body and mind. Id like to say “Don’t focus on the achievements”, but I know that can be very hard. The poses themselves don’t miraculously help you, its about observation and calmness in combination with the poses.
There is something called, Shavasana. Its the pose that helped me the most. You can google it. Just lay in it and observe what you feel and think. Just observe. Even when you think “This is bullshit, it does nothing”, just observe.
The “ego” is very very nervous and afraid and does not like change. Letting go of thoughts and just “be” was so scary for me that I can hardly put words on it. So, even if its scary, just observe it. Don’t be surprised if yoga practise is a bit scary.
It is OK to feel nervous or intimidated by a yoga class. But remember, that its your expectations and experiences taking. Just observe these feelings and go anyway, If you want to. I know its hard, but its worth a shot.
Unfortunately, I can’t figure yoga out. And you probably will not either. It has to be experienced and practised on and off the mat. Yoga is more than just poses and breathing. But take it in small steps, or you might end up creating more tension and conflict than you solve.
Also, I think its better to get instructions from a good teacher than from books and internet. Maybe a private session with a yogatherapist could be beneficial?
If anyone with more experience and knowledge think I’ve said something unclear or harmful, please correct me or clarify.
I truly wish you all the best BLOND37.
