Working with Anger

Spirituality
#21

[QUOTE=FlexPenguin;50160]Ask yourself why it annoyed you. If you are honest you may be surprised at the answer.[/QUOTE]

I have asked myself. I’ve gone quite deep into it. It isn’t fear - at all - at least in my case.

If somebody is doing something harmful to others or themselves. This irritates me. How is that fear? I tell them about it and they blow me off. They keep doing the behavior. sometimes this pisses me off. How is that fear?

Someone steals something from me this pisses me off. if its something I need to do my work in this world I’ll have to take time to go get another one or hunt the thing stolen down. I have no. Zero attachment to material things. I don’t care about them one bit. How is that fear?

If i tell someone something totally true and because they don’t believe it. They something smart and smary this pisses me off. How is that fear?

If my happines or wellbeing is being diminished by the careless action of others this pisses me off. How is that fear?

Fear is when your in the middle of the jungle. Its pitch black out. Your by yourself. You suddenly hear a noise thats threatening and very very close.
Hearing the noise doesn’t make me angry - it makes my adrenal glands shoot adrenaline. Thats a manifestation of fear.

EDIT: I just went over to the “tantrick majick thread”. I prodded the op to rethink his stance on 'will" he got pissed and was a smart ass. This smart ass response arose from Fear. The Fear that he may be wrong in his reasoning.
So yes I can see that better now. Thank you.

For me though my anger arises from my compassion and sense of justice and fair play. and the other reasons I listed above.

It has nothing to do with any kind of personal loss. It is totally from my compassion.

Frustration. Annoyance. Displeasure. This gives rise to anger.

#22

I can see how ‘fear’ can play a role but I don’t see it as a root cause in every instance.

For example Amir…

I contradicted what he said. This gave him pause. Fear arose.

“What if I’m wrong?” He passes himself off as something, I contradict this . . . and it wasn’t gently.

His response fueled by anger was to attempt to undermine The Scales and put himself in the better light.

Same thing with awareeeeeee. With amir i was brusk (because of ignorant pomposity) with awareee I was nicer. Yet the same thing happened.

awareee - “what if I’m wrong.”

Fear…

He gets angry.

He responds with a swarmy statement to undermine my credibility.

So yes I can see fear playing a significant role - now. For most people, but not in all cases. THANK YOU!!!

For me it is different though.

I’m not burdened by an attachment to my own egoity. I know who I am, the parts I’ve played in the past, and why I’m here now. I have no fear of death. I understand mundane consciousness is prone to error when it reasons from indiscrimination.

For me Anger arises when someone is a fool, hurting themselves, hurting others by their actions - of speech or deed. Its not fear from the pain or suffering they will receive by their stupidity, for their suffering is the whip to change. It is the pity for the innocents impinged upon by the carelessness and stupidity of others.

Thats what f*n fires me up. Stupidity. Indiscrimination.
Propagation of bologna.

Thank you flex. You’ve helped me out a great deal.

#23

@ Scales

Can you explain to me what pleasure you gain from insulting me and calling me names? Try practising ahimsa. And thank you for the insults, they help me destroying my Ego.

#24

Oh and by the way, you have no idea who I am either. I do not claim to know anything. I merely claim to believe. My recipe and advice: friendliness. That will be 9000 dollar then;) (I sell my skin for more: increases my credibility)

#25

[QUOTE=The Scales;50194]
For me Anger arises when someone is a fool, hurting themselves, hurting others by their actions - of speech or deed [/QUOTE]
Can you explain to me how your insults are not a form of trying to hurt others by speech? Now reason further in view of what you stated above.:cool:

#26

Everyone gets angry - even “spiritual” people. They just use their anger for the greater good - Ghandi, MLK, etc.

#27

[QUOTE=The Scales;50194]
For me Anger arises when someone is a fool, hurting themselves, hurting others by their actions - of speech or deed. Its not fear from the pain or suffering they will receive by their stupidity, for their suffering is the whip to change. It is the pity for the innocents impinged upon by the carelessness and stupidity of others.

Thats what f*n fires me up. Stupidity. Indiscrimination.
Propagation of bologna.
[/QUOTE]

I have also entertained the idea that fear is behind all anger, and I still think it is true. I guess in this example (and please take this hypothetically, not personally) I would say the fear is of those qualities in yourself. You (or one) is perhaps so afraid of these things being part of your own self, that you become fearful when you see them anywhere. But fear is too close and too scary to feel, so the emotion quickly, undetectably changes to anger.

I guess I think anger is too complex to be a fundamental emotion. There is aversion and attraction. Aversion, wanting to get away from something, is the base of fear. Anger is when the mind starts to analyze the aversion and give a story to it.

Just my thoughts…

-Shiva

#28

Anger is an emotion I am very much trying to come to grips with myself, so I’ve enjoyed reading everyone’s opinions.

I have been struggling to find anyone who can tell me ‘how to express anger appropriately’. I’ve started thinking that there might not be an appropriate way because anger is an emotion like any other and can therefore not be controlled (as much as we would love to CONTROL it). My need for needing to control it has lead to me to repressing a lot of anger I should have felt but could not. Now I’m having to find ways to release that anger as it impinges on many other levels of my life, some conscious, some unconscious.

[QUOTE=The Scales;49825]Do you get angry? Yes, and this is usually followed by psycho-sematic symptoms i.e. neck pain, mostly because I find it difficult to express

Do you wish not to get angry? Yes, but I believe it is part of human makeup and it should rather be expressed (appropriately) than repressed

Do you know why you get angry? Injustice, animal cruelty, child abuse, ignorance, hypocrites…actually its a long list :slight_smile:

How do you deal with it? Going for a run, talking about it, and sometimes I don’t deal with it and walk away because its easier

Has your anger ever erupted in verbal or physical violence? No, I find it as difficult to deal with other people expressing anger as I do expressing anger myself[/QUOTE]

#29

[QUOTE=The Scales;49825]
Do you get angry?
[/QUOTE]

Yes, and to be honest it is healthy to get angry, surpressing it is bad…VERY bad. However how you express your anger should be the issue

[QUOTE=The Scales;49825]
Do you wish not to get angry?
[/QUOTE]

No, I do however wish I had expressed my anger differently from time to time

[QUOTE=The Scales;49825]
Do you know why you get angry?
[/QUOTE]

Usually

[QUOTE=The Scales;49825]
How do you deal with it?
[/QUOTE]

Well first I get a baseball bat…:smiley:
Just kidding… I deal with it a lot these days simply by breathing

[QUOTE=The Scales;49825]
Has your anger ever erupted in verbal or physical violence?
[/QUOTE]

Go back about 17 years and I can say yes… also how I know surpressing it is bad…very VERY bad

#30

[QUOTE=Yulaw;50411]Yes, and to be honest it is healthy to get angry, surpressing it is bad…VERY bad. However how you express your anger should be the issue[/QUOTE]

This is an important point I believe many yogis (including myself) get wrong. There is a general belief that we should not feel/ think negative things about others, so when we do we do everything we can to make the moment/ emotion pass instead of admitting…I FEEL ANGRY! :evil:

#31

A teacher once advised me to not confuse anger with a need to take action.

Perhaps when something occurs, we feel a need to take action, a build up of internal fire and energy. As we don’t know the best way to direct this energy, to make an appropriate and constructive response to a situation, and to be detached from this build up of energy, we block our flow of energy and become ‘angry’ and frustrated.

Before long, we attract others who have blocked off their flow of prana, and life becomes an angry, bitter affair.

One of the massive benefits from my yoga practice, is that it makes my body strong and my mind clear. When I am in that state, the mental frustrations and dysfunctions of others don’t attach themselves to me, and I rarely find myself in a confrontational situation. If I do, then a clear, calm head attached to a healthy body wins every time.

#32

[QUOTE=Terence;50435]A teacher once advised me to not confuse anger with a need to take action.[/QUOTE]

I am very much aware of the difference between the two! :stuck_out_tongue:

#33

Part of the problem is identification with anger. The statement “I am angry” is inaccurate and reflects an identification with the mind. It is better to say, “The energy of anger is arising in my mind.”

Anger blinds us to the truth. Krishnamacharya wrote:
[I]Knowing all things to be impermanent,
let not their contact blind you.
Resolve again and again to be aware
of the Self that is permanent.[/I]
Ram Dass struggled with anger and truth. His guru Maharajii told him to give up anger and to tell the truth. Ram Dass decided the truth was that he was angry! Maharajii told him that when you know the Truth, you give up anger.

Then Ram Dass realized two things: He had an image of who he thought he was, which was his incarnate self that needed protection; and he was not allowing others to be who/where they were along their paths.

Then he saw that his anger came from things not going the way he thought they should go and that people were not being the way he thought they should be. In other words, he had expectations.

In his words, “The next time you get angry, look closely at what you’re angry about. You’ll see you’re angry because God didn’t make the world the way you think it should have been made. But God makes the world the way She makes it!”

In the Bhagavad Gita, Arjuna is to play the role of a great warrior and fight against his family and friends and teachers. His compassion for his loved ones and his realization of the consequences of the battle give him pause. But Krishna urges him to fight.That’s his dharma, right?

This whole life experience is God’s play and we are the actors. In Truth, nobody really dies. Their stories are just their karma and dharma! (Note: This is not a free will debate.)

So I’m working with all this these past few days and I’m seeing all the horrors in the world–injustices committed by greedy and violent humans–and I’m in prayer and I’m crying. And I’m angry! I say through clenched teeth, [I]“I hope you’re happy, God!”[/I]

Then I think of the three aspects of God, that of Creator, Maintainer, and Destroyer. Then I think of the 4 yugas and that we’re in the kali yuga where most everyone has gotten all caught up in the external world, having turned from the light inside and forgotten the Truth of who and what we really are; and that we’ve been here all along, throughout the 4 yugas.

And I remember that I don’t see clearly, that my mind has a perspective formed by my mental state. So I know my work is not done because I am not yet Master of my mind.

So I start again: AaaaaaUuuuuMmmmm…

#34

[QUOTE=The Scales;49825]I’m curious as to what everyone thinks about this Feeling or Emotion. I’ve been working with and through it for awhile now.

Do you get angry?
Do you wish not to get angry?
Do you know why you get angry?
How do you deal with it?
Has your anger ever erupted in verbal or physical violence?[/QUOTE]

Yes, mostly at myself…
Why not? It makes me think what is wrong an dhow to correct it.
I figure it out after I get angry:)
Analyze
I wish…but it just sits in me destroying myself

Also, I act as im angry to manipulate other people. Something like “You make me angry. I’m so mad at you! You should behave better” This what most of us had experienced in the childhood and most of us keep doing …

#35

I’ll get there someday :wink:

#36

Yeah so. I just got angry twice and both times it had nothing to do with fear.

  1. Someone’s carelessness caused me to get a headache. They had gasoline on them. I smelled it. The fumes gave me a headache. This pissed me off.
    This has happened before - numerous times. Them smelling of gas. Giving me a headache. Multiple times. They’ve been told of it before - nicely. They respond with something smart or a weak joke. They do not change their behavior. They persist.

So now I sharpen my knives. Is this wrong?

  1. I call someone to see what time they get home for dinner. I was quite nice. (they get short with me because they are in the middle of something). They often get short with me. This pisses me off. I want to rip thier head off and shit down their throats. How is this fear?

The second time I got angry i was still salty at the first person. So it was easy. My mood was angry. But because i’ve been thinking about anger and working through it. I paused. I didn’t express my anger to the second person. I was about ready to hang up on them when they got snotty . . . but I didn’t and kept “being nice.”

So If after I communicate to them what upsets me and they persist can I beat their ass?
Would that be wrong?

:slight_smile:

#37

Right and wrong are relative whereas cause and effect are absolute.

[I]“Every cause has its reaction. Understand the cause and do not react to the effect.”
[/I]-- Master Subramuniya

:wink:

#38

[QUOTE=Awwware;50195]@ Scales

Can you explain to me what pleasure you gain from insulting me and calling me names? Try practising ahimsa. And thank you for the insults, they help me destroying my Ego.[/QUOTE]

As to who you are? I know you do not know of what you speak. So you are a prattler. Thats all I need to know about you.

I gave you good advice and you were an ass.

There are some vocal posters on here who are full of wrong knowledge and they prattle on giving out adivce and talking BLAH BLAH BLAH.
Other people read this… new people - impressionable people.
The new people are the wide eyed does caught in the headlights of charlatans. I see a prattler doing harm. I correct them - for both the prattler and the noob. The ignorant speech of a prattler could lead one astray for days, hours, months, years, lifetimes . . .

I don’t like it when prattlers lead people astray. Prattlers are one of the great scourges of the earth. Especially those who ‘sound’ like they know what they are talking about.

When a prattler gets smart - I tend not to be friendly. Most people I am quite friendly to - not Prattlers who get smart.

I’m not here to be nice. I dont’ ‘need’ to practice ahimsa.

I also find it amusing when a smug prattler thinks he can try to teach me something.

Ha.

[B]Tip for You…[/B]
Ego is not destroyed. Once self realization occurs it is merely worn as a trinket.
Keyword “transcended.”

I gave you good advice. You got smart because it contradicted your article… or your ideas . . .

Don’t be sad. Have a winky. You smug prattler.

:wink:

#39

[QUOTE=The Scales;49825]I’m curious as to what everyone thinks about this Feeling or Emotion. I’ve been working with and through it for awhile now.

Do you get angry?
Do you wish not to get angry?
Do you know why you get angry?
How do you deal with it?
Has your anger ever erupted in verbal or physical violence?[/QUOTE]

Yes, Anger is a natural human emotion. It makes me angry to think anyone could claim that they don’t get angry at some point lol

I don’t mind expressing my anger in a reasonable manner, and think it would be unnatural and unhealthy to suppress your emotions. Note: when I say reasonable, I mean talking about the situation with a familiar, understanding person. I don’t mean punching holes through walls.

I get angry cause I’m a human. Specifically, I think I am prone to anger when people break my trust, or treat me in a way in which I wouldn’t treat them. I also get angry at people who try to compensate for insecurity. I think it is dishonest ie Act tough, name drop, try to convince people that they are extra important (I HATE SELF IMPORTANCE), People who patronize (particularly religious and spiritual patronization such as telling me I’m missing something in life cause I don’t follow a particular religion or hold a particular spiritual attitude), I hate people that are mean to others to make themselves feel good, I hate power hungry people, and I hate people who think they are perfect and demand perfection.

Talk it over. Think about it rationally. See it for what it is.

Absolutely, although as I’ve aged, I’ve become more mature, and sober, and able to control my anger. In the past, I’ve knocked people out, broken my hand punching a wall, Sworn at people and threatened violence, started fights either by shoving or verbally aggravating, broken many many objects etc. I take my anger out now in my training. I am also far more mature and reasonable then I was when I was younger, and when I used to drink. I think I’m a good person now, people feel safe around me and enjoy my presence. I’m not proud of what I’ve done in anger, but I’m proud of how far I’ve come,

#40

[QUOTE=The Scales;50471]As to who you are? I know you do not know of what you speak. So you are a prattler. Thats all I need to know about you.

I gave you good advice and you were an ass.

There are some vocal posters on here who are full of wrong knowledge and they prattle on giving out adivce and talking BLAH BLAH BLAH.
Other people read this… new people - impressionable people.
The new people are the wide eyed does caught in the headlights of charlatans. I see a prattler doing harm. I correct them - for both the prattler and the noob. The ignorant speech of a prattler could lead one astray for days, hours, months, years, lifetimes . . .

I don’t like it when prattlers lead people astray. Prattlers are one of the great scourges of the earth. Especially those who ‘sound’ like they know what they are talking about.

When a prattler gets smart - I tend not to be friendly. Most people I am quite friendly to - not Prattlers who get smart.

I’m not here to be nice. I dont’ ‘need’ to practice ahimsa.

I also find it amusing when a smug prattler thinks he can try to teach me something.

Ha.

[B]Tip for You…[/B]
Ego is not destroyed. Once self realization occurs it is merely worn as a trinket.
Keyword “transcended.”

I gave you good advice. You got smart because it contradicted your article… or your ideas . . .

Don’t be sad. Have a winky. You smug prattler.

;)[/QUOTE]

The pot calls the kettle black. That’s the last thing you will ever hear from me. I withdraw from this forum, because this is not the first time I encounter hostilities. It would be a good thing if a moderator checks once in a while and kicks out people who cannot refrain from vulgar calling names.