Hi Charlie,
Thanks for explanation. I got what you mean now.
On the side of the subject:
You know, recently I have some thoughts in this subject of ego and our relationship to it. Maybe its because I usually side with weaker one, but I sometimes feel sad when I read how people write/talk about ego. How they treat it with lack of respect and love. Its like a container for all dark stuff we want to “pin down” to something. I don’t know if you have such attitude (because you wrote about “lovingly watch its nature”) but I got bit sad reading sometimes texts with “bad dog! attitude” toward ego.
Yesterday I had interesting experience. Going to bed I was thinking about physical body and death. I thought, that when I die, I won’t be as fully present as now, with my physical body. That now, as lost as I am, I’m spanning through all levels of existence - from physical matter to spirit. I thought then, that in that case, I would like to use this time, this opportunity, my body, to experience full life. To experience fully this opportunity with my body included into “spiritual” scheme of things. Moment later I felt a great wave of sadness, of regret. I wasn’t expecting that! I guess that it was because through this act I was connecting with my body which felt very disowned by me floating somewhere in “spiritual heavens”. Seems that at some point I dissociated my body (which is very easy and sometimes expected by some religions/spiritual systems).
Maybe I’m so sensitive to “criticizing” ego because I don’t want to make similar mistake. I wouldn’t want to separate from my ego but rather to take it with me on this journey. Sorry as well if I’m stating “bleedn obvious”
(or maybe incorrect things?)
[QUOTE=charliedharma;41299][QUOTE=Pawel;41239]
Hello Pawell ,
what I mean by ego mind is what in yoga is called the ahamkara ,the sense of I am -ness , the sense of us being a seperate entity , often fixed in opinions , self regard etc , The part of the mind that wants to organise , be in charge , that wants to compare wants to judge by comparison between this and that , aversion and attraction , that wants to plan , strategise , to see results from something like a yoga practise , a mind that dwells in the past or projects into the future , taking us away from our present experience.
I was suggesting that counting is used to give this part of the mind awareness( Not my original thought of course )something to do as it likes to feel important so that we dont get drawn into the projections and comparisons , the ego is too preoccupied counting. By being aware of when this ego mind starts it strategy of taking control we can lovingly watch its nature and slowly (or instantly for the few) we can be free from its tyranny,
when we drop the counting we can watch the ego or give it no attention and it will cease to have hold on us , and like an ignored irritant disappear.
Thus we may move away from being polarised to a sense of oneness ,connection to the divine , etc.
essentially the counting can be usefull technique for some , it often shows how difficult it is to sit and count ten breaths without becoming distracted by some hindrance wanting to take us away from a more authentic ,present experience. If you find it helps in savasana then it must be helping. However
im not sure there is great value in persisting with counting as an aid to concentration , it sounds a bit too much like doing something.
I hope ive answered your question , and havent stated the bleedin obvious.
yours in yoga[/QUOTE]