Against Happiness

Yoga Discussion General Yoga
#1

Namaste! Hope everyone?s having a good summer wherever you happen to live. I?m in a little seaside village which turns into an even happier, bustling place as all the tourists arrive. I love this time of year ? I feel happy. I?m still loving my yoga practice and my teacher and my class which I do in my happy little village, but lately, I seemed to have been turning away from pursuing the spiritual part of yoga. Ironically?I just finished reading a (non-yoga) book called ?Against Happiness? by Eric Wilson. It resonated with me because it seemed to speak pretty directly to my ongoing struggle to understand my ?other? side (darkness, negativity, or as he calls it, melancholia) and why I seem so reluctant to let this all go. In my previous posts, I?ve asked you all questions in an effort to get info so that I can try and ?sort my way out? of this. I think I?m going to stop now. I don?t want to try or strive or change or mold myself into something more ?perfect.? I won?t say anything like ?I?m perfect just the way I am? because I don?t believe that. I don?t want to be MORE than I am. I?m me and I?m imperfect and I?m going to live with imperfect little me until I die. And imperfect little me will do the parts of yoga that I like and I?ll disregard the rest. My ego will probably remain attached and I?ll never know bliss and I won?t remember all the things I learn and read and I won?t have time to practice all the things I should. Honestly, I don?t know if this is good or bad or wrong or wise or egotistical (well, that?s probably true) but it feels right and true FOR ME. And it?s all tied up with my art which is the thing that makes me feel the most alive. So, if self-realization is part of what we?re supposed to strive for in yoga, then when we ?get it,? we ?keep it,? correct? Anyway, I just wanted to share a couple of quotes from the book.

?I think that regardless of how happy we pretend to be, we have all undergone this struggle, this tension between our own dark feelings and the grating call of the bright, shiny, happy world. We grow weary of the guilt we feel over our melancholy souls. We want to be left alone so that we can brood for as long as we want. We want this because we feel most alive, most vital when we suffer this rich confusion over the things of the universe. We sense that we are with the world, its swift interplay of horrible and holy.?

?How can we escape melancholia in an existence in which we are doomed to suffer physical and psychical pain, perturbing hours and miles that are arduous? If we are honest, we cannot. But isn?t it precisely this melancholia that gives life its edge, its friction, its exquisite frisson? Indeed, if not for the troublous gloom of our lives beyond the gates of Eden, we would never pine for a richer version of innocence than we had in childhood. We would never achieve experiences of this fertile innocence. We would never endeavor to create new ways of attaining this dynamically blissful, though transient, vision.?

?I get it: to be alive is to realize the universe?s grand polarity. Life grows out of death, and death from life; turbulence breeds sweet patterns, and order dissolves into vibrant chaos. The cosmos is mixed, blurred, messy, and contradictory. But this mishmash keeps jostling along, moving, unpredictable, contingent, mysterious, interesting. Suddenly my world doesn?t feel as if I were endlessly channel surfing, clicking the button all night even though I?ve seen everything that flashes across my screen. On the contrary, I don?t know what?s coming next. I?m on my toes. I?m edgy, incomplete, sad, but I?m trying to imagine poems more beautiful than the quiet cruising of devious sharks and symphonies more sonorous than those songs of the aloof birds of summer. I?m attempting to concoct a cosmos out of chaos.?

#2

Moth,

Where you are, is appropriate and it is never good, bad, wrong or right, it is always appropriate for the soul to be in the place where it is, it is our human experience and mind which will cloud an expereince as good, bad etc.

Then, how many “we’s” are there in your we, I think it might be a bit presumptious to talk about “we”, as I would rather think this is your own personal experience and path, or not?

So by the way it is winter in South Africa and we are in for another cold front with tempratures dropping, but fortunately our days are still very sunny and crisp and beautiful.

Good luck on your path.

#3

Thanks Pandara. I always hope that somebody here tells me in so many words that what I’m doing (yoga-wise) is okay…then I feel okay. I’ve also been missing “you all” and just wanted an excuse to pop on and say hello. (Hello!)

So…winter in South Africa…

Being from New England, hearing the words “cold front” and “dropping temperatures” don’t exactly thrill me, but a sunny, crisp and beautiful day in South Africa looks perfect in my mind. That thought makes me happy!

Stay warm and cozy over there…

#4

Congratulations. You just lost the achievment oriented thinking.
You also discovered that you like life after all.

Melancholic temperament is an expression of the ego being not able to fully enter the physical body. Because of this, such a person percieves the physical body a prison, something restrictive, a pain.
There is a karmic reason for such a setup of a human being.
Important is, that this is a long term duty, and it is quite hard if not impossible to change one’s temperament during just one life.

But this is exactly what you must do. You must rediscover the joy and freedom living in a physical body. Just follow your way, and what that is, you will know it best.

#5

Hi Hubert! Yes, I think one of the reasons I came to whatever conclusions I came to above was because, I’m old(er) and I realized that practicing yoga, or starting it this late in the game, most likely will not wipe away my basic temperment. There’s just not enough time left. But to clarify…I always liked life. I just liked the darker side better. I’m learning to treasure that side but to also embrace the lighter parts more often, I guess. Always seeking balance…

Hope your summer, or whatever season is in your part of the world, is going well…

(I’m not sure why I seem to need a global weather report but I do!)

#6

Perhaps you are seeking balance as you said yourself, even in the seasons of the year, you are in summer, I am in winter, light, dark, etc.

Anyway, if I say tempratures dropping then it is below 20?C, today was 16?C, but still very sunny and actually amazingly beautiful, did a few sun salutations just now, felt so amazing feeling the rays penetrating deep into my soul and feeding places which I cannot describe as words is not sufficient to describe it. :slight_smile: I’ll just smile, both outward and inward.

#7

I’m old(er) and I realized that practicing yoga, or starting it this late in the game…

What about me then?! See my first post.:smiley:

#8

Pandara…I’m smiling along with you :slight_smile: :slight_smile:

And hello JustinTime. Nice “meeting” you and so…how’s the weather in YOUR part of the world? You might appreciate the fact that recently, I blurted out in class that “I love yoga!!! But I wish I started it sooner.” It’s too bad I can’t remember what my teacher said in response because my memory…well…maybe you understand. She’s also a “mature” person and so our small class is geared toward a very gentle practice. We build our progress slowly and don’t move to the greater challenge or level or step or whatever until we’re ready. Focus is on receiving the benefit of each pose, rather than doing it to perfection. As a result, it all feels very natural and easy. Sometimes though, progress does seem a little frustratingly slow, but I’m trying to be more patient. “Slow and steady wins the race” or something like that.

As I’m writing this, I’m thinking that now that I’m getting to know the “outside physical me,” it could teach the the “inside spiritual me” a lesson or two. Like Pandara, I want to smile on the inside, too.

#9

Greetings to you, too, moth,
I had just finished a long reply but something seems to have gone wrong, I couldn’t submit it. I have wasted all that effort and time, and now it is gone midnight here, and I must be off to bed. I am very sorry. At least a good spell of thinking time was spent on you!
There will be other opportunities.:slight_smile:

#10

To further elaboarate my former thoughts …

The ancient indians were mostly melancholic, yoga philosophy shows this. There was this need in their soul, to escape physicality, perceieved as a prison. We must know that they still had a form of spiritual sight, and remembrence of the higher lokas, but they still were not perfectly accustomed with their new physical environment. (Just put aside your thoughts about the materialist anthropogenesis - once I beleived in it, too, but now I beleive in a more reasonable explanation)

Asanas was performed to bring pranamaya kosha in perfect union with manomaya kosha. There seems to be a contradiction here. Why did they want to do this if they wanted to escape ? Because to escape, the prison walls must be dealt with, first.

Today the picture is changed quite a lot. People are very grown to their bodies, they have built it, and used it well through many incarnations. Today’s body is perfectly fit for the world it lives in, and the pranamaya kosha is totally withdrawn between the boundaries of the physical body. This is why we do not perceive any spiritual reality in our waking consciusness. We are left to our physical senses, alone.

Today, yoga should be used to make pranamaya kosha extend. First, it must be known as it is in ourselves (pranayama, and thinking - breathing and mind are strongly connected - gnothi seauton -know thyself !) than extended beyond the boundaries of the physical body. When this happens, the disciple starts to perceieve other pranic forces, that of plants, animals, other peoples’, even that of the Earth.

When Siegfried kills the dragon, and takes the bath in it’s blood, he learns the language of animals. A beautiful mythical expression of the same truth.
It is obvious that to kill a dragon, one must be strong, and with his head on his shoulders. The dragon is the pranamaya kosha of the disciple. The pranamaya kosha is a always infuenced by the disciple’s karma. It’s form and quality depend on karma. The first spiritual reality the disciple meets, is his/her own pranamaya kosha. Because it is imperfect, and lacking, due to his/her former deeds, it appears as a monstruosity. Nevertheless it must be faced, and conquered. This conquest is acceptance of karma and the future it provides. It is hard to consciously take upon us the full weight of our karma. This is also called the Guardian of The Threshold.

But we must realize this … that the pranamaya kosha is never separated from the physical body, just at the occurance of death. Than it becomes free from the rule of the senses, and able to perceive the non physical realities. Initiation separates pranamaya kosha from a physical body without the occurence of death. The initiator, guru was the one who made sure that the link is not severed. Initiation was a three day process, when the disciple was apparently (and in a way factually) dead, and it’s physical body was kept alive by the presence and pranamaya kosha of the initiator. Why was it three days ? Because this is the amount of time the disciples own pranamaya kosha is able to function without having to support a physical body. At the occurance of death, the paranamaya kosha still lingers around the physical body for three days, than it is decomposed, it’s forces are withdrawn to the universal pranic forces, and only a seed remains, waiting to be implemented in the next incarnation. (that is why there is a period of three days of mourning in many cultures)

To get back to initiation … The guru actually made the disciple go through a death like experience, making sure that he/she is able to come back to the physical plane. During the three days, the disciple went through the after-death experiences everyone goes through who dies. He/she has seen his whole life imprinted on his/her pranamaya kosha, how he/she affected other people, or entities, where he /she failed or succeeded, and all this on the background of the whole world evolution. It is natural that from such an experience a transformed man is coming back to life. This is the initiation Jesus did to Lazarus, who is the apostle John. This is the initiation Christ did to Saul, transforming him into the Paul we know from the epistles. The initiation of Lazarus was a bit similar to the old misteries, with the physical presence of Jesus. It was a resurection in the sense I explained above, an initiation. But the really important thing is that the initiation of Saul did not happen through such a presence. Remember, when this happens, Jesus is already crucified, dead, and according to his disciples, resurrected. At crucifiction, Jesus dies but something else happens, of what even mainstream christianity is less aware. Christ, the cosmic Ego, becomes united with the pranamaya kosha of the planet Earth, (Yes, the earth is a living being) as a renewing presence of vitality, and it is there present up to this day. In fact, Christ is the second guardian of the threshold. If we pass the first one, what is in fact the image of our own imperfect self, we meet what we could have become, Christ. (Cosmic Self, The Self of Maharshi, The Word of Vedas)
This gives an answer to the guru or no guru question … before Christ’s crucifiction, and it’s former physical presence, The Cosmic Self was attainable only through initiation of the old misteries, through the help of a guru. Today, because the Cosmic Self is present in the planets pranic aura, it is possible to make contact with it much more easily, if one really desires that. We only need humility, selflesness, and love to do that. Of course the first guardian is still there … and this our greatest obstacle.

Initiation is no little thing. Enlightement is the first step, what comes after passing through the first gatekeeper. Realization is the last something what will come for most people, ordinary people like you and me, only in ages. The journey is long … as it is said in the beautiful Morcheeba song. I’d finish on that note … stop chasing shadows, just enjoy the ride. :wink:

#11

Hi Moth–I am glad to see you back here on the forum! And with a Namaste to greet us no less :wink:
Weather report: hot during the days here on the front range of Colorado, cool nights, afternoon showers/sprinkles during the last week, all-in-all agreeable :smiley:

#12

Hi Nichole, thanks for the weather update in beautiful CO (was just visiting there in April). Somehow, imagining everyone in “their” own little part of the real world is sort of…comforting. Instead of floating talking people in cyberspace, I guess. Oh…and have a wonderful time in India. Hope you post about your trip when you return.

And Hubert…thanks for taking the time to write all this. I read it a few times and I hate to be dense, but I’m not sure what you’re saying here. Are you explaining how karma works? I will ask a question to your last statement…“stop chasing shadows, just enjoy the ride.” Can’t I do both? Chasing shadows IS part of the ride and one of the things that make it enjoyable!

Anyway, thanks for chatting in my “Against Happiness” thread. Funny, that there’s a lot of yellow smiley faces sprinkled throughout. Maybe I’m not so against it after all. Maybe I’ll visit again, during the next season…

(ETA: Well! MY little smiley face didn’t show up here (the face with the sunglasses - being summer and all). I’ll try not to take that to be some kind of disturbing omen.)

#13

Yesterday morning first thing,
when wanting to open the kitchen door,
I saw - without my glasses-
at the edge of the doormat
a vague brown shape
that turned out to be,
on bending close,
a moth, unmoving.

I coaxed it onto paper,
and still it did not move.
I could not see its wings.

Outside I placed it on the honeysuckle,
and there it came alive
and woke
and showed to me
a perfect pair
of golden black-edged under-wings,
just long enough
for me to see,
like a Thank You
for not having stepped on it.

(This is a report, not a poem.;))