last night for some strange reason I decided to walk around the house in the dark and trust I knew my way, I can do it when I sleep walk so why not awake. I washed dishes in the dark, and other odds and ends
then when I read I lit a candle. some nights my eyes get tired so I use glasses, for some reason the candle light made reading very easy on the eyes. I felt very relaxed and then went to sleep, relaxed. I know, I do weird things 
seeker
Tubeseeker,
Please receive this as I intend it, in the spirit of true friendship and from a commitment to bring light. I noticed that this is your 3rd post with a similar voice and practice (washing your car in the rain, weeds and now this post).
What are you hoping to set in motion by sharing these things?
Why share them here at a [I]Yoga[/I] forum? What are your own realizations about these practices (for a lack of you defining them)? Where are the impulses to explore your world in the dark and to indulge your whimsical wish to wash your car in the rain coming from? What are the fruits of these practices? Do you truly think these things you do are weird or asking for confirmation that they are or are not from the membership here?
I have to say that I am thrilled to see this type of exploration by you and I have seen it before in people just before they have a significant breakthrough in their mediation and other practices. It may be that this is also happening for you. Maybe not, but I observe it to be similar. My hope is that the membership here will be able to offer support and reflection in everything that is offered up here.
These questions I ask you are very personal. Please respect your own boundaries around them and answer only what feels appropriate for you.
With great respect and love,
nichole, without thoughts for how it comes across I will respond, easier to be honest that way. I say I am crazy when I post, understanding there is no such thing as normal. I say I am crazy to say it is ok to be crazy, being crazy used to be somethign I was afraid of, Now I am no longer. People can think of me how they wish, I care not to protect an image. it is more important how I see myself, then how others veiw me. I want to be an individual, I want to be different, I want to be me. I wash the car in the rain, I did it again this last weekend, for a multiple of reasons. loose fear of the rain, save water, be closer to nature, to realize rains positive qualities, to respect god if only a little more, etc…
candles create fire, fire is natural, that light should be better for my eyes and I like being closer to natural. pulling weeds, connects to the earth, slows me down, allows me to think more clear, etc…
maybe to some extent I seek acceptance, but I do not seek that as much as I used to. I post some things others may think are crazy, realizing sometimes I may be right or wong and when I am wrong that is ok. I wear my heart on my sleave because I should not be afraid of what people think. Maybe it will be inspiration for others to be more open, honest, and hide from themselves less, maybe not, but I am just being me. also, what better time can be spent, playing a video game? Idle chit chat about negative things on the news I have no control over, etc…
one more note, a funny thing about being crazy, where I work more people gravitate towards conversations with me now then ever before, a side benefit I did nto seek, nor is my motivation, kind of crazy that when you care less others notice you more. Maybe they long for something they see in me, but I do not wish to be boastful about this, humility is the key to all things I seek.
well time for me to work
thank you for asking your questions and helping me to think about myself a little more
on the ride,
seeker
thank you for going there seeker. i am deeply appreciative.
my personal process is similar: i first realized i wasn’t seeking the acceptance/approval of others as much and then quickly realized it was because i was accepting myself. and it felt so good!
about people gravitating toward you, i think people resonate with truthfulness. the truth of who we are is so attractive to others. i am working so diligently with and being challenged by this myself. being authentic, living my dharma, keeping satya even in my thoughts. i am realizing that it is easier for me to begin relationships on this footing, but a challenge to “reintroduce” myself to people i’ve known for years and that is because i’ve been dishonest and elusive on many levels with even my dearest friends. not to be malicious in anyway, but as a way to protect myself, to avoid certain feelings while chasing after others, and from absolute ignorance.
i wanted to share this: Aadil Palkhivala: Involution
Ironically, our very presence on an internet forum provides an inherent image protection as a by-product of the blanket of anonymity the internet spreads.
your welcome and I thank you for encouraging conversation, sometimes that is how we grow. The video you show is very relative to the conversation, it would be an interesting discussion to have in person to say the least. Truthfulness, the only thing that seems to fulfill me, the truth is that which I seek. and as far as people nearest to us, the people we want to help the most are the ones we care about the most, that makes it harder to help them because they sense the pressure. They also bring back old memories, I fall into old habits more around old friends then I do about new friends
enjoy your journey
seeker
Recently the scientist made some intresting studies.
they found out that the human brain is still able to build up new brain connections in all ages.
This was proved by ct and other things.
The resume was to go out of habits. For example take another way to work than used, brush your theeth with the left hand, take a shower in the dark.
These are things that activate the new build cells in the brain.
If they are not used they are dying again.
It looks like smelling something is actvating these cells the best.
I see a connection to yoga in that way that yoga also means to come out of habits and to live less mechanically.
So I would not call it crazy, what you are doing.
All the best
Shanti
Lars
[QUOTE=Nichole;7469]
i wanted to share this: Aadil Palkhivala: Involution[/QUOTE]
Thankyou tubeseeker & nichole for this discussion and the link…
Lavina
[quote=Lars Rimb?ck;7481]Recently the scientist made some intresting studies.
they found out that the human brain is still able to build up new brain connections in all ages.
This was proved by ct and other things.
The resume was to go out of habits. For example take another way to work than used, brush your theeth with the left hand, take a shower in the dark.
These are things that activate the new build cells in the brain.
If they are not used they are dying again.
It looks like smelling something is actvating these cells the best.
I see a connection to yoga in that way that yoga also means to come out of habits and to live less mechanically.
So I would not call it crazy, what you are doing.
All the best
Shanti
Lars
Patanjali Yoga Schule M?nster[/quote]
Lars: thank you for sharing this point, as it is well made and I share in your excitement! This type of research has revolutionized our understanding of healing and regeneration, as well as the selective pruning and growth of brain and nerve tissues. My more traditional path of studies is a premedical degree of integrative physiology with a focus on neurophysiology. This type of research is what I thought I would be doing in my work until I met Mukunda and grace shifted my course toward Yoga therapy. I don’t think that I’ve shared that here before.
Here is great Yogi who is doing this work with his Yoga: Matthew Sanford.
Jai Ma!