Changing friendships on a spiritual path

Spirituality
#1

Ok so Im new to this forum, I’m a young male, have been practicing raja yoga for a few months. I’ve been concentrating on yama mostly and have noticed a lot of positive changes to my life.

One problem though is that some of my relationships are struggling. Its something of a paradox.I used to be quite self centred and arrogant but with training (e.g. loving-kindness meditation) i’ve become much more compassionate and selfless and kinder for sure. Obviously I’m having no luck with the ladies, they prefer bad boys, but I dont care about that(brahmacharya after all). But I seem to be losing some close friends. I think its because I’m not so quick to go out drinking with them and my personality isn’t as extroverted as before. They may even think i’m being snobby for avoiding them sometimes.

So just wondering have people had similar experiences taking up a spiritual path?

Should one just accept you have to give up some relationships in a spiritual path?

Btw.My friends are pretty average guys but unfortunatly that means they dont have much sense of spirituality, socializing invovles alot of alcohol etc.

Thanks

#2

That’s Life

You have similar experiences in life without taking the spiritual path at all.

In my early 30s I decided that drinking, hanging out in bars and waking up with hangovers was not what I wanted and I lost many friends because I was no longer interested in doing what they were doing so I had to simply let them go. At that time I was also married and she wanted to drink and hang out more and even started running with a younger crowd out of fear of getting old. I was not interested in any of that any longer and my marriage ended too. I was basically of the attitude, been there, done that, did not want to do it anymore.

20 years later I am much better off. I have a family and pretty good life and different friends.

#3

I went through that… and go through that a lot. I never was into drinking and stuff much, but I could hang out with people like that because we still seemed to connect on other levels. The more I started hitting my spiritual side though, the less I could connect with the ‘average’ people, and now being around them is almost impossible. I see the pettiness a lot more, I notice the gossip, and the self-abusing of the body. of course in their eyes they’re having fun, and I seem like a bore, but at the end of the day, I know that true happiness lies when we are on our journey of self discovery. What started happening is I started saying happy things, posting happy thoughts on facebook, smiling at what others said and just not partaking in a back and forth conversation that was either negative or that lacked intelligence. Slowly, people around me started noticing what I was doing and the way I was acting. They liked the happy me and started asking me what I was doing. For me, getting past that stage of feeling like an ‘outcast’ did take it’s time, but not too long after, I felt like I was doing a service to others. Right now, I am attracting the right people and people are changing their attitude in life because they see my view on life - that life is truly a gift. We know we are on the right journey and we cannot fall back to the way we ‘were’ - why give up the hand that we know will lead us to a more fulfilled life? Just don’t just others and be appreciative that you have this opportunity to start your life again

#4

[QUOTE=bayside;74430]Should one just accept you have to give up some relationships in a spiritual path? [/QUOTE]It is common. You are changing your value system and others not.
[B]Matthew 12:46-50
46 While Jesus was still talking to the crowd, his mother and brothers stood outside, wanting to speak to him. 47 Someone told him, ?Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you.?

48 He replied to him, ?Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?? 49 Pointing to his disciples, he said, ?Here are my mother and my brothers. 50 For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.?[/B]

#5

[QUOTE=bayside;74430]

So just wondering have people had similar experiences taking up a spiritual path?

Should one just accept you have to give up some relationships in a spiritual path?

Thanks[/QUOTE]

HAHA:)) good question:) i have had a conversation with friend of mine (a female in her 50’s) just about a week ago. She has a concern: why yoga makes me feel more separate from other when it suppose to leave me more connected to others human beings???

My experience and thoughts on this were as follows… I have started yoga path in my early 20’s. I had no problems to give up relationships. Those people started seem to be vicious and insane! (ended some of them were) Needless to say that i do not drink and eat “strange” food :slight_smile: by their definition…

Some people will fall off you path. Just like with everything. Should you start running everyday for 5 miles, you will make same - minded friends, and those non-runners will be set aside. You start drinking , and she same will cling to you. Should You start kayaking and all inland folks will stay on the shore:))

Today, I do make friends with people who are not yogis. They are different people:fighters, drinkers, cursing-likers, meat eaters, sluts… Though, prefer solitude, I do socialize with them, they make fun of me non-drinking, wired-thinking, strange-behaving yogi, but we are still friends.

I guess over the period of yoga practice one develops an acceptance to accept other-minded and wisdom to let go on other-minded if they wish. By hanging out with “stragglers” I believe I can bring the little yoga to their lives by my own example.

I guess this is the best case scenario : make them follow you;) good luck to us on that:)