Daily yoga at home - emotional wreck

Yoga Discussion General Yoga
#1

Hello all!
I’m completely new to this forum, just signed up. I was surfing the net trying to see if there are more people out there who experience what I experience while doing yoga (and after the sessions).

I’ve done a few yoga courses a couple of years back and had a fantastic teacher. So a few months back, after doing sun salutations each morning, I decided to book a private lesson (yoga therapy type of) with that teacher and he gave me an hour program to do each day. At the same time I decided to stop smoking AND I just started a new job… by the end of the week I was pretty much lying under the table crying of stress. So I picked myself up, emailed my teacher and asked him to cut my program in half and started again with fresh hope. I’ve been doing some sort of yoga pretty much daily for a few months now and I can say; I have -hardly- ever felt worse in my life!! I’m a wreck! I am anxious, my body is exhausted, my head constantly hurts, I’m shaky, got cold sweats, wake up each hour all night long soaking in sweat. The sleeping problems I took up with my yoga teacher which have been haunting me for years have gotten worse. Oh and I cry ALOT!

I’ve read quite a lot about stuck energy and emotional issues, and I’m sure thats exactly whats going on there, but what I would love is some thoughts on; what should be my next step?

I hope some of you have some good tips?

Thanx!

#2

First of all congrats on giving up smoking! Best thing you could do. But, could it have more to do with nicotine withdrawal? I did a google search and much of what you experience has been described… there’s lots of advice out there for it too. I hope you feel better and can enjoy your yoga again.

#3

Hello Dani, Yoga can be powerful and have an unforseen impact on your emotional level even without other big changes going on in your life. That said, it is hard to judge if your problems stem from yoga practice or if the root of the problem is elsewhere. You tell us very little about your yoga practice and your other activities at present, so it’s difficult to answer. How long is your yoga program? You have only written that it was cut in half, but not how long you are practicing. At what time of day are you normally doing yoga? How has your new job situation turned out? Is it working for you? Is there a lot of negative stress/pressure at work?
(I deliberately wrote “negative” stress as opposed to positive stress. I mean that you may have a demanding job with a lot of pressure but also a lot of fun and interesting things to do - this I call positive stress.)

#4

Reduce it to 30 minutes, doing 1 hour and work can be too much especially for someone with sleepingproblems.
You could also make it 1 hour 3 days a week but if you some day feel tired its ok to reduce time , dont feel forced to do 1 hour.

#5

Hello both! Thank you so much for replying! Missi; Thanx for the congrats, but I have to say I took up smoking again (reduced version) as I realized I set the bar waaaay to high (as I have a habit of doing), but its on my list of things to-not-do.
As for my yoga routine; it was 1 hour (teachers words) which turned out almost 1,5 hours (again, as I always seem to need to do everything perfect from the start…) and it got cut into a half hour (which is 45 minutes in my case…). I practice Hatha Yoga, really do have the body for it and the times I reminded myself to ease up a bit have felt better. I do a lot of forward bends, downward dog, neckstand (dont know the english word) and then legs over head (so bend double - dont know the english word there either). Often halfway I start crying. I have a lot of tension in my neck and upper back/between shoulderblades and I have a history of not dealing with emotions very well. So even for me its quite obvious why I feel this way, the release is strong.
As for stress (negative); yes, definately. When you constantly set the bar really high, its nearly impossible not to get stressed. I barely remember what fun is like and I havent slept properly for years and years.

Big changes are going on in my life as I am completely changing my habits and attitudes. I am very much more aware of my feelings and my “old ways”. Its a strong matter of accepting times lost, accepting who I was and who I am now. I have worked in a certain business my whole adult life and gave that up 3 years ago. After that I fell into a deeeeep hole from which I have been slowly crawling out the past 2 years. Babysteps.

It all sounds very depressing, but actually I am (in a non whoohoo way) very happy with the progress I’ve made. I’m currently just trying to move forward without overdoing it and trying to find a balance in my journey.

Again, thank you for your kind replies. Any thoughts and tips are more than welcome!

Dani

#6

Addition: I forgot about the time of day: as I have serious sleeping issues I have tried to do yoga in the mornings, but can barely get out of bed. Work starts at 8AM, so that didnt work too well. I now do it when I get home from work, around 5PM. As I use up alot of energy AND have a metabolism on speed (I burn food by looking at it it seems ;-)) I am usually starving once I get home. But, I bring lots of “snacks” to work, yogurt, fruit, musli etc… to keep the energy up so I can manage yoga once I get home.

I’ve now ordered some Melatonin pills hoping this will help my sleep so I can hopefully start putting my yoga in the mornings instead.

#7

First of all, thank you for your honest and open-hearted explanation.
Fakeyogis recommendation is excellent, to cut your practice even more so that you can do it really in 30 minutes, not 45. You don’t need to exhaust yourself more at this time.
Secondly, the “neckstand” you refer to is most likely shoulderstand or Sarvangasana. This is a very beneficial asana in many ways so it is important that you modify your practice so that you can safely do Sarvangasana without suffering any pain. Yoga should never hurt! A good thing to try is take several blankets (buy “polar fleece” - a synthetic soft material which is cheap and perfect for yoga blankets), and fold them to squares about 2 ft each side. experiment with using one, two or more blankets stacked on top of each other. Lie down with the top of your shoulders at the edge of the blanket pile so that your head is outside the pile (put a small pillow beneath you if it is bothering you to have the head “hanging”). Then do the shoulderstand whith the shoulders on the pile of blankets and your neck softly hanging free. This works very well in most cases of a hurting neck. Do the same in Halasana or Plow pose (“legs over head” pose).

I would also suggest that you do yoga later in the evening, and use the practice to wind down. Then you can eat a light meal when you come home in the afternoon and still be fit to do yoga around 8 or 9 p.m. My final suggestion would be to add some relaxing restorative poses such as Child pose and “legs up the wall” pose. Legs up the wall can also be a substitute for shoulderstand on those days when you don’t feel up to it.

#8

Dani try magnesium pills they work for me. But make sure it is good quality. It seems as if your life is hectic i might be wrong but if you cant manage to do asanas one day is not the end of the world , meditation would help you more. So if you dont do that already make it a daily habit of yours , 5 minutes to start with is more than enough.

#9

Take time to love yourself
To me yoga is an expression of love ,
Life is short, Break the rules, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly, Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, And never regret anything that made you smile.
Good luck with your journey
Peace
Cheers

#10

You don’t say how old you are. Have you considered getting your hormone levels checked and a thyroid panel done? Also, take especially good care of yourself now. Eat a good diet full of fruits and vegetables, and containing adequate protein. Stay away from stimulants like caffeine, and stay away from fast food, sodas, and any processed foods, especially food-like substances containing white flour and sugar. Good job getting off the nicotine! Doing so will help get you off the mood swing roller coaster.

#11

Dear Dani,
To add to some good advice you have got here, this is what will help you tremendously.

Yoga may create stress and exhaustion temporarily, as any new engagement generally would. If it continues beyond a week, the cause may lie elsewhere. Diet, your approach to yoga and other factors may contribute a bit too.

It is essential to customize yoga - not by a teacher, but by your own self. The success in any yoga posture is not how much you imitate the teacher. For example, one who can stretch the legs ahead and place the head on the knees like a lifeless doll is not necessarily doing better yoga than one who is barely bending half way. While getting into any posture the entire attention needs to be on your own body, emotions & energy.

The high point of a posture is when one gets into a balance of sorts such that the very physique is forgotten. Instead of pressing oneself into physical perfection, reach this moment of equilibrium. Yoga energizes body, mind and spirit. Please watch yourself how the energy is working for you.

#12

Also, take time with others. From what you posted sounds like you’ve been trying to handle it all internally. Find a good friend to confide and laugh with. Good Luck.