[QUOTE=louise molenkamp;13299]Nmaste brother,
thank you so much for answering. glad you were not offended by me asking you wannabe guruji
sorry to hear you are dissapointed about what you think is your dharma.
how do you know it is your dharma and if it is , is it possible to change our dharma?
do you know the story of a student that was living on an island and was practising a mantra for long time so he could walk over the water and than the guru came to visit him in a boat and told him he did it all wrong?
if you do know the story i am sure we will some day walk over water my brother and we will not care who is cutting the grass or not.
Have a nice day you Neil
with love from louise[/QUOTE]
It seems I am becoming more at peace with my dharma/life circumstance. changing darma, I guess if you are beyond karma, enlightened, it would atler your darma. I belive I can become enlightened, my personal belief is if anyone could do it, I could and I dont mean that in an ego way. I would like to lead the life worthy of being considered in a status such as guruji but for reasons of love, not reasons of ego, my ego coould use more purification, and when I do get to that state brother will still do fine
the story of walking on water is like the story of the swami who spent 22 years to create fire out his fingertips, the guru asked him how long it took him to learn that and he told him 22 years. He laughed and said “what is the big deal it only takes me ten seconds to pull the lighter out of my pocket.” For me love, peace, and joy are the goals, the rest are clown tricks. Dont get me wrong, I like clown tricks but without love, peace, and joy they are not worth much. I do actually like cutting the grass, now vacuming the house is another story 
i am love, i am peace, i am joy
i am neil, your brother