Hey all,
Most everything that I’ve encountered in my experiences of Yoga, I’ve been able to find similar experiences and possible reasons why etc, but this one turns out to be a bit more profound than most…
Lately, I had been feeling a strong strong anxiety in my solar plexus that extended to by belly button and heart, sometimes my throat and on occasion my entire body. In fact this stirred some of the most uncontrollable emotions I had ever felt.
As I began to get better at managing these feelings, they kept getting stronger.
I kept trying to essentially just cope with them so that I could carry on conversations with my girlfriend, until finally last night, it felt as though life just made me deal with all these feelings so that I could just relax already.
From everything I’ve ever read this is what transcendence really is…
It started with doing stretching breathing and massaging for about an hour to try and get rid of the anxiety I was feeling. I had reached a very calm point, but when my girlfriend came home from school the anxiety began to rise and she became more frustrated with me feeling anxious, I got more anxious.
There we’re a few brief moments of her asking what was wrong and me breathing. Finally she went outside out f frustration. My usual approach is to go clear things up, so that’s exactly what I did.
This time was different however. My body began to tense up the closer that I got until my feet and ankles couldn’t move. Obviously had to overcome the thought of my not being there for her and be there for myself, so I realized it was moving up my legs and I wouldn’t be able to stand much longer.
At ease, I laid back and let the feeling over come me and I was finally able to express to my girlfriend that I felt at one with her and more clearly than ever.
While she was in the bathroom, my breathing got very fast and quick and suddenly, I realized I had felt this feeling with hallucinogenics, only this time I felt completely safe because it was my body leading me, not a substance. Where each would feel equally as powerful, drugs feel cold while this was as warm as I had ever felt. The hallucination that was so magical was to see this life as it actually was.
So with my girlfriend by my side, I realized that the only way this intense pressure that was upon me would leave is if I did it myself.
To express exactly how I felt…like I was laminated between the earth and the atmosphere. With my solar plexus being the strongest center, it was extremely tough, but it olny gets tougher. I am able to free any tension in my torso rather easily, but my my feet posed the first problem. This part felt as though I was buried half under sand and had to levitate out with no hands (tough work) Then came my head…the front was easy, but as I had brain surgery and the back of my skull removed you can imagine i had to overcome a bit to relax that completely.
Lasty, my entire body was free except for my hands. The only way I could had the strength to open them was with the confidence that I had already done my body.
To imagine the feeling…the first thing I felt was as though everyone I love was represented by a hand that I was holding. Like a snowball, this hand want to be held with as much pressure possible to create tight bonds. Most of the time there’s always a small fear that me might hold someone too much. This was non existent, but to free my hand I had to let go, so I slowly did and as I got them all the way open, it felt like there was a little bit weaker force trying to close them.
This is the part that I feel parallels the experience of what some would call trancendence. In order to free my hands, I had to pull them up through what felt like the thickest jello that could ever exist until finally I felt cool air on my fingertips again and with the last push it felt as though my entire body was weightless.
From this point I completely aware and had overcome more then I have ever before.
Has anyone heard or experienced something similar? What’s your thoughts on this?