“All these godman, gurus and flunkies are offering us a new oasis. You will find out that it is no different from other mirages.”
(U.G. Krishnamurti)
A guru is a relalized soul, one who attained perfection. A realized soul surpasses this world, even higher worlds, the gods’ world and he is anchored in the Ultimate Reality. He’s body still belongs to this world, and that can be killed if he chooses so. He is wearing the body as a cloth.
I never met such person in my life. But that does not mean they not exist, or I would not follow him if I met him. So the question is not the need for such person in your sadhana, but perhaps our ability to assess his presence.
Also the question migh be: do you believe at all in spiritual worlds, higher powers, gods, angels and so on (use your culture’s terms here, be it kamis, boddhisattwas, anything), do you beleive if there is something more that what the senses see ? Do you beleive that there is even a higher thing than those ? I only had one single extrasensorial event in my life, but that is enough for me to put these questions away, and believe. Faith is what we have until we see it ourselves, with our own soul. Opening the chakras is opening our spiritual eyes. Having that single experience, I long for knowledge. I know I am blind and imperfect. I did learn the hard way that nothing lasts. Maybe I have grown bitter, too, because I am still attached to the things I know cannot last forever.
So this is not just a talk for me. What I share here, be it right or wrong ( and I often find that I was wrong in my thoughts) is very important to me, perhaps the most important thing in my life.
I love my wife and baby girl very much, and I would give my life for them. But that does not change the fact that I would follow my guru/master if I met him. This is hard to accept, and some of you probaly will say I am a monster, and how can such bigottry exist today.
Be sure, I would not make such sacrifice easily. (probably it would be the greatest I am capable of) I would test him the best I can do. I would provoke him, dare him, to show he is the one.
I believe that Jesus was a guru or master. And he said, the one who leaves his parents, wife, children for me, will get a hundred times more in the kingdom of heaven.
How many people leave their wife and children for somtehing as illusory that romantic love ? A thing that we all know that does not last ? That it lasts for a few years than it gives place to a deeper love … and still how deep is that love in people who give that up for the new high gave to them by a new relationship ?
But they are not monsters or bigotts, they’re just human. We forgive what we understand and we don’t forgive what we don’t. That’s why the life of saints, prophets or the true, is a tragic one. That’ why there is such a gruesome statement in John’s Apocalipse about the number of the true ones who must fell before Christs second coming.
Perhaps all these sound to catholic for this place. Some of you fled here because the church disappointed you, or it just wasn’t able to wake your interest. I don’t ask you to be catholics or christians. Be an atheist if that what feels true for you. God is incomprehensible, perhaps an atheist is closer to Him than one who tries to depict Him. Be a hindu, or budhist, I don’t care. What I believe that the laws of morality are one for all human kind. I believe that we will find if we seek, so self effort is not useless. But I also believe that we can be helped, taught.
What a beautiful and short is the commandment: Love thy fellow as yourself. It is in fact what yogins say by ahimsa. This is one of the two greatest commandments. The other is love thy God by all your heart, soul and mind. (Not exact quotations because I am not reading the Bible in english)
A yogi might say, be true to yourself 'til the end. Both of these lead to the same, just the directions where they come from differ.
So we are different in where we come from. As different types of food with the same nutrients just in different percentage, are best for different body types, perhaps the same knowledge but in different clothes is more accessable for different cultures’ sons and daughters.
But in essence they are all the same. I like what Yogiraj Siddhanath says:
Humanity is ones only religion, breath is ones only prayer, and consciousness is ones only God.
But that does not mean we must throw out our heritage. We must find what’s good in it, and enliven it by what’s the same for all of us.
It is such a paradox, Hubert, following a guru and possibly leaving wife and baby to do so. On one hand, the idea seems so cruel to the little family, how could that ever be a good thing? How could a guru encourage that?? On the other hand, when one reaches a certain level of understanding from a spiritual perspective, everything shifts.
You have a Judeo-Christian background so I can ask you, do you remember the story of Abraham? How he and his wife were told by God that they would have as many descendents as there are stars in the night sky? And they were over 100 years old and still had no child? And finally they had Isaac? And when Isaac became a young man God told Abraham to sacrifice him? And just when Abraham was about to sacrifice Isaac God stopped him and told him that because he was willing to sacrifice Isaac God did not require him to do it? The Old Testament God was Abraham’s guru, no?
Why is that story there?
Ultimately our relationship with our spiritual, higher self is of utmost importance. Putting that first, (a lonely, difficult, scary, unsettling thing, so a guru can be a blessing) yields the reward of recongnizing the truth of our existence here, that we are all connected (the kindgom of Heaven?). To reach for understanding of the reason we exist is for some the most important aspect of life. Often, without realizing it, our family, our job, our social standing, our ego-related concerns become more important than our true reason for being here. These things are really, in my opinion, experiences for deepening our understanding of our connectedness with all things. They are not meant to substitute for our higher truth.
When I got to this understanding, I became bitter, too. Why bother even continuing in this life, if it is to be so impermanent, and if it is so alluring and engaging, and must be left behind?
I decided that I love life so much, this experience on Earth, that I would celebrate every day that I wake up on it. I would do my best to come from love at all times and to be an example to encourage others toward loving in life, as well. I release things that separate me from the truth of our existence here - - to be and to share love and joy.
And I smile.
There is an exellent book (in English), called “Old Turtle.” It is a beautifully illustrated children’s book that shows what I am trying to tell here. Very few words. Nice.
Thanks for the reply. My former post … I have mixed feelings towards it. Because I myself I am scare of the things I said there. But it was necessary to get it out from my system.
I am tired of myself. I must post less.
I will use a yoga asana example to describe what you have just done in your emotional and spiritual area: You used courage to approach an edge of discomfort in your life, like a place of pain in a pose. Now it is advisable to use compassion with yourself in backing away from that extreme place of expansion, just like you would ease back from a screaming edge in a yoga pose. When thoughts about this subject come to mind, just as you approach the edge in a difficult pose, use breath to soften the experience, to process emotions through, to let them pass.
Please understand how important it is to allow negative thoughts and emotions to move on. Things like anger, impatience, guilt, sadness, dismay, fear. THEY are the target, the important issue. There is more solid progress in spiritual growth in that area, rather than focusing on willingness/unwillingness to sacrifice family to follow a guru.
Do you remember, Jesus saying: “if ye do all of these (virtuous) things, if ye do them not with love, it is as though ye have not done them at all?” To me, what this means is, follow your heart in your life. Be genuine about coming from love, and you will not live a life that you regret !
Happy happy, joy, joy ~ om namah, shivaya, and ~ ~
peace be with you always, even to the end of the earth
Your posts are truly comforting. Thank you.
I am a swift learner … I did try to consciously apply what you said here and in other threads. I am breathing and enjoying spring. Releasing the locked up pain and tension.
I don’t believe in that. Even if one is “enlightened” he/she is still a human being.
You talk about Jesus - he was probably one of this “enlightened” people. But I don’t believe that he was “perfect”.
Also the question migh be: do you believe at all in spiritual worlds, higher powers, gods, angels and so on (use your culture’s terms here, be it kamis, boddhisattwas, anything), do you beleive if there is something more that what the senses see ? Do you beleive that there is even a higher thing than those ?
Well I believe in “spiritual things”, but not as something very miracle, just as something most people in the west lost contact to. I had some of those experiences (but of course it can also be that my brain is just producing it); but I wouldn’t call it “higher”. Some people are born with sensing things others can’t and you can definetly train yourself to get them with special practices.
Having that single experience, I long for knowledge. I know I am blind and imperfect. I did learn the hard way that nothing lasts. Maybe I have grown bitter, too, because I am still attached to the things I know cannot last forever.
And maybe you get attached to the “spiritual path” instead, to have a good excuse for leaving your life?
You can take your family life as your Sadhana. Why do you search somewere else - and especially in finding a guru who takes you away from normal daily life?
I might be totally wrong, but from what you are writing, I have a guess that you are looking for something you are missing, what you can find only in yourself and which none can give to you. Or better to say: not something you are missing, but something you already have, but what you can’t see right now.
The fundamental to gain the knowledge is that until and unless it is not given by anybody else, it cannot be listened and cannot, therefore, be contained in mind failing which it cannot be used in action. This is why someone is badly needed to preach. For example, let a newly born baby be earmarked to live in a lonely cave in a dense jungle.
If we take care of him by all means but do not make any verbal contact for his any type of education, thus we will find that when he will even attain age of twenty five years ,he will remain ignorant, foolish. When we will keep him out of cave in the open air, he will not know even any languages or worldly knowledge either spiritual or materialistic.
Question arises, “Why he remained ignorant or foolish or illiterate?” The answer is very clear that he was not provided with his mother, the first teacher and he was not provided with any Rishi or Guru for spiritual/materialistic education etc. Now a days too, the races are still living in the dense jungles separated from the modern world’s civilization, are still illiterate and they even do not wear the clothes. In this connection again another question arises, "Why the seven days of week, twelve months in a year the names of cow, horses, trees etc are the same at every part of the world."
Keeping aside the languages if we think unprejudiced then we will come to the conclusion that somebody has taught us to pronounce mother as mother, father as father ,brother as brother ,tree as tree ,water as water, blood as blood, man as man, woman as woman at every part of the world and somebody has definitely taught us the science and deep knowledge of Yoga, Karmas, worship etc.
The oldest several holy books and the Rishis have already invented the answer thereof. In this connection Patanjali Rishi his Yoga Darshan has also cheerfully recited his experiences towards the facts after study of Vedas,Topasya, trust in God ,hard Yoga practice and when he achieved the last and final motto of human life is SAMADHI i.e. realization of God.
His superb words of realisation are quoted in Yoga Darshan as under:
“Sah Eshah purvesham api Guruhu kalena anavachhedat”.
Meaning: -The God is the Guru of the ancient Rishis also, being beyond the limitation and calculation of time.
Comments: - God is immortal. He was before the creation. He is present from the time of creation and will remain when the time will come of destruction. He will remain after the destruction too. That is why he will continue the creation as usual, and will remain again Guru of the new creation. But open the other hand human being will not remain alive for ever, and traditional Guru knowledge will be finished in human life At the time of total destruction of the world.
Vedas are originated by God and Yoga knowledge has been preached in Vedas. See Rishi Yagvalk Smiriti`s Shaloka. “Hiranya Garbha Yogasya Vakta”. Hiranya Garbh mean- God,Yogasya =of Yoga,Vakta=Teacher. So God is teacher of Yoga knowledge.
So the result of deep study of vedas, Shastras, Bhagwat Geeta, Ramayana and other holy books concludes that the first Guru of our ancient Rishis is almighty God. Thereafter, the Rishis/Munis/Acharyas/Gurus have been teaching us the spiritualism/materialistic knowledge up till now.
[quote=Karin;5357]I don’t believe in that. Even if one is “enlightened” he/she is still a human being.
You talk about Jesus - he was probably one of this “enlightened” people. But I don’t believe that he was “perfect”.
[/quote]
He probably was not perfect because only God is perfect. But I believe he was as perfect as a human being is ever capable of.
And maybe you get attached to the “spiritual path” instead, to have a good excuse for leaving your life?
I might be … but do you know my life to judge me for that ?
Still, you are right. Just there are times when everything we care for just crumbles, regardless our best efforts. Some go to therapyst, some drink their brains out, some seek comfort in the company they are close with … but there are trials when none of these help. Than the real questions arise: who am I ? Why does this happen to me ? Why do I live ? And to answer these honestly one must go beyond the usual accept things as they are attitude.
You can take your family life as your Sadhana. Why do you search somewere else - and especially in finding a guru who takes you away from normal daily life?
I am not doing this. I was saying that I can imagine scenarios when the obvious choices won’t make it. I said it would be the highest sacrifice I am capable of. Do you think I am keen of doing that ? But if I had to, I would be capable of either part of that choice. I hope I won’t have to make it, though.
This is like in a story: Various people visited the saint, and praised him because of his rennunciation. But he said - you are the real saints because you give up on more: your own beatitude and supreme bliss for worldly things. So this is all relative, and personal karma counts for more than trying to find a generalised answer.
I might be totally wrong, but from what you are writing, I have a guess that you are looking for something you are missing, what you can find only in yourself and which none can give to you. Or better to say: not something you are missing, but something you already have, but what you can’t see right now.
Your female intuition … you are again right. I miss love. Not the love I feel for my family and my close ones, what is a steady, deep and humble love, as I realise my own but also their weaknesses too, but I miss the ever consuming fire of love when me and my beloved merge into total union. This is not a bodily wish, but the deepest cry of my heart, an unsatiable longing and hunger. Sometimes it is so strong that I feel empty, cold and dark inside, like a black hole, and this feeling is terrible. And I also found that no man or woman can ever fulfill this. Don’t get me wrong. I am a very lucky man. I have everything I might desire. And I am happy, sometimes very happy. I enjoy walking the park in may, watching over my daughter, or my wife attending to her things sunday morning. I love my body, and my practice. I enjoy my friends company. But at night , when there is quiet and dark, sometimes I wake up and the longing begins … and there is no answer. But I have faith that there will be one.
Dear friends
while browsing Divine life societies website i have found these reflections of Swami Sivananda ji on guru, a realised soul and gyani, he is no more i am pasting it for interseted souls for guidance :
[B]THE NEED FOR A SPIRITUAL GUIDE
[/B]Q. Is a Guru necessary for Self realisation?
A. Undoubtedly. A spiritual preceptor is absolutely necessary for everyone. In the initial stages an aspirant will have to face many difficulties and doubts in his path. He must have somebody who is much more acquainted with the subject of his quest than himself and to whom he can approach to get his doubts cleared. Even ordinary secular sciences have to be leamt from a teacher. A primary student would not fare well in his examination if he reads his lessons all by himself without the aid of a private teacher or without having to go to school. To leam the science of Self knowledge one must have a reliable guide. He should study well the very best of the literature available on the subject, so as to effect a necessary moulding of his ideas and intellectual conviction, together with the advice of his teacher, through faith, devotion, perseverance and practical application to the pursuit of his quest, as well as through observation and company of holy men. It is only the Guru who will find out your defects. The nature of egoism is such that you will not be able to find out your own defects or be convinced of their pemicious effect. In the case of a very few emotionally matured, intellectually precise, decisive and enlightened, and spiritually exalted souls, they themselves can be their guide, and the purity of their heart will enable them to decide the voice of God from within and guide them accordingly.
Q. Is it essential to leam Yoga from a Guru, who has himself done Yoga Sadhana and has achieved success in it?
A. Yes, one needs the guidance of a Guru. But he can do a lot at home itself and gradually evolve. The world is a great teacher. You can leam ever so many valuable lessons from it. While leading a householder’s life you can develop many virtues. Self control should be practised while living in the world of temptations. You can do Japa, Asanas, Pranayama and meditation at home. Lead a simple and austere life. Be honest and charitable. Induce your wife too to read religious books like the Ramayana, the Gita, etc. Thus you can prepare yourself gradually for the rigid life of a Sannyasin. Maintain a spiritual diary and send it to me for review. Come here for your holidays and undergo the necessary training and discipline. If you suddenly desert your family you shall be giving a shock to them. Let it be gradual: in the course of some years all bonds will be broken, when you can completely devote yourself to Sadhana.
Q. What are the qualifications and essential qualities of a real Guru, teacher or a true guide? Is it possible for an ordinary human being to select a real guide? If so, how?
A. Real Guru is a Srotriya, Brahmanishtha, one who is leamed in the scriptures and established in Brahman. He who is wise, desireless and sinless can be a true teacher and guide. The Guru, by virtue of his wisdom and capacity, draws towards himself the souls fit to be guided by him. When one feels that he is thus spontaneously drawn to a Mahapurusha whom he cannot help loving, admiring and serving, who is an embodiment of. unruffled tranquillity, mercy and spiritual experience, such a great one can be taken as the Guru. A Guru will be free from lust, anger, greed, egoism, hatred, jealousy, selfishness. He will have self restraint, peace, perfect knowledge of the technique of all practices of Yoga, balanced mind, equal vision, generosity, tolerance, forgiveness, patience. He will be able to remove the doubts of the aspirants. In his presence all doubts will vanish by themselves. He will be in possession of divine knowledge through Nirvikalpa Samadhi. In his presence you will enjoy peace; you will be inspired and elevated. In his presence you will have a peculiar thrill of joy, peace and upheaval. A Guru is one in whom the disciple can find no defect and who serves as the ideal to be reached by the disciple. In short, the Guru is God in manifested form and when Divinity is seen in a person he can be chosen as the Guru. The relation between the Guru and the Sishya is genuine and unbreakable, even as that between God and man is. It is a natural law that when a certain event has to take place in the universe the conditions necessary for the same are brought about exactly at the proper time. When the disciple is ready to receive the higher light, he is brought into contact with a suitable Guru by the Supreme Dispensation.
I would definetly say yes.
But there are three types of gurus.
- The signpost that shows the way - And you start to go there
- The blacksmith. He heats the fire and hammers until the form is ok.
- The diamontcutter. If you refuse to shine he goes on until there is only powder left.
Everyone must decide which type he preferes.
Personally I wouldn`t have come to where I am without my taecher or guru,
whatever you want to call it.
He mirrors me what is possible and supports me allways very loving in any crisis and although when it needed he kicks my ass.
So what Karin.
U G Krishnamurti had also a lot of spiritual training and like in the history of sidartha from Hermann Hesse it was a part of his devolpment as well sas the life in the streets of London as a clochard.
All together led to his liberation.
Greetings
Lars
[QUOTE=Hubert;5521]
I miss love. Not the love I feel for my family and my close ones, what is a steady, deep and humble love, as I realise my own but also their weaknesses too, but I miss the ever consuming fire of love when me and my beloved merge into total union. This is not a bodily wish, but the deepest cry of my heart, an unsatiable longing and hunger. Sometimes it is so strong that I feel empty, cold and dark inside, like a black hole, and this feeling is terrible. And I also found that no man or woman can ever fulfill this. Don’t get me wrong. I am a very lucky man. I have everything I might desire. And I am happy, sometimes very happy. I enjoy walking the park in may, watching over my daughter, or my wife attending to her things sunday morning. I love my body, and my practice. I enjoy my friends company. But at night , when there is quiet and dark, sometimes I wake up and the longing begins … and there is no answer. But I have faith that there will be one.[/QUOTE]
Do you know the feeling of being in nature and feel one with all?
Did you ever have the feeling of being connected with everything? When do you get it? Can you do anything to get it?
Are you doing any meditation techniques? Did you ever got that kind of “inner smile”?
…?
[QUOTE=Lars Rimb?ck;5608]
Personally I wouldn`t have come to where I am without my taecher or guru,
whatever you want to call it.
He mirrors me what is possible and supports me allways very loving in any crisis and although when it needed he kicks my ass.
So what Karin.
[/QUOTE]
Well, that’s fine for you.
But that doesn’t mean that you can generalise it for anybody else.
I also have yogateachers, but they are not my gurus.
I just think that most of this so called Gurus are just putting up their own ego with having all this power.
But of course their followers can learn a lot from being with them. On the other hand there are lots of people who had many difficulties to get out of this again to life outside and who suffered a lot from following their Guru.
The tendency of people to follow blindly is leading to dictatorships. Thats how Ashrams usually work. There is no democracy, but a lot of hirarchy with one big dictator.
[quote=Karin;5712]Do you know the feeling of being in nature and feel one with all?
Did you ever have the feeling of being connected with everything? When do you get it? Can you do anything to get it?
Are you doing any meditation techniques? Did you ever got that kind of “inner smile”?
…?[/quote]
Yes, Karin, I do sometimes get that feeling of being connected with everything. It is a “coincidence” you should bring that up - - it has just happened to me ! To me, this is the highest understanding I can attain, these flashes of lucidity and joy that defy logic. After sharing my story, I will let you know a practice I have used in the past that deepens meditative awareness of this connection.
I peel back my a[FONT=Lucida Sans Unicode]rmors of distraction and inattention to immediate here and now to open to [/FONT]a sensual “sense-surround.” This awareness of connection to all things is an active source of healing and information for me.
Last week, I sat on my back porch railing looking out at my back yard - - trees, birds, bushes, flowers, grass and twilight. In that moment I became aware of the “sense-surround” feeling and a simultaneous understanding that I was beginning a healing journey with the help of this invisible life-connection. In this one tiny, quick touch, I knew that I would have access to this help as long as I would acknowledge it and consciously return to it so I could be familiar with the feeling of connecting with it.
That was a spontaneous connecting, a kind of accidental “beginner’s luck.”
This week, however, I went out into my back yard with the purpose of healing from/getting familiar with this connection with all-there-is. I walked all the way down the hill to the big rock by the pond. I climbed up onto the rock and lay down on it. I looked up into the sky at the clouds shimmering and shifting in the sunlight. I discovered a connection with my dad (who died in 2001); I remembered he told me that, as a kid, he loved to look up and watch the clouds. I felt as though his presence was there with me, enjoying the fluffy rolling, shifting, spiraling, thinning, re-shaping sky show. I felt healed by this feeling of connection with my departed dad, and so much more.
Information comes pouring into me when I make this connection. I get a sense of “oh, [U]that’s[/U] what I can do in[I] ’ [/I]X ’ situation.” I discover I have answers to questions I never consciously have thought about. Part of what I know is that anyone can connect in this way, feel this feeling and understand these things.
And now for the meditaiton:
When I was just a kid, I ran around outside much of the time. I climbed trees and made them my houses using my imagination. I snuckaround the squirrels and birds in the woods as quietly as I could. I practiced “melting into” the scenery the way I read the Native Americans did prior to European domination of the US. The places around the trees were part of my “house”, too ; different places around the trees were different rooms in my houses. My outdoor home was not always perfectly safe; I had to watch out for snakes, spiders, slippery spots, thorns, mosquitoes and poison ivy. But, that became natural for me, as natural as crunchy leaf carpeting and curling root furniture. I understood that life is not inherently safe, but that I could be safe sharing living space with other kinds of living beings, if I paid attention to and respected what was around me.
I think that that is the first meditation that I did. In my mind, I made a home in wild nature and coexisted with other wild things. That is a good place to start, find a little spot out in nature and practice making it your home.
I aggree with you there are alot off people blowing up their own ego by calling them self master or what ever.
But If you translate the word guru from the sanskrit it means nothing else but teacher.
Also the most people misunderstand it.
My teacher is not like this ego style people, he reminds me allwaxs for the connection with the universeral the love with everything and everybody that exists. That gives me loads of inner peace and freedom to love the world and the creation. So I finaly learned to give up fighting and even love the so called assholes. Isnt that wonderfull.
All the best wishes
Lars
[quote=Karin;5712]Do you know the feeling of being in nature and feel one with all?
[/quote]No, I don’t. I have glimpses of happiness when I look up to an azure sky or the mountaintops covered with snow. Then I feel free, with purpose, and still. But these are brief moments of clear awarness.
Did you ever have the feeling of being connected with everything? When do you get it? Can you do anything to get it?
No. I don’t get it. I don’t know if I can do anything to get it. I don’t even realise the need getting it.
Are you doing any meditation techniques? Did you ever got that kind of “inner smile”?
I am not following any tehnique, and my meditation practice is not regular. I read, and I meditate on it a lot. Intense reading is the highest form of focusing I am capable of. (It shuts every other sense out) I meditate when I face problems. I am not using tehniques like thought control or restriction, focusing.
I don’t know what you mean by inner smile. Sometimes I feel very good, pure joy just flows through my heart, so strong that it manifests also as an outer smile. 
But these are rare. Also I think the inner smile you talk about is probably more pure than this, because what I feel is … very passionate. The experience Is better shown by my “bhakta” post in the poetry section.
It usually appears when I think intensly of someone I love.
Anyway your post is helpful. It is in context with my latest thoughts, I am too influencable, (vata) and I need a strict schedule in my life. So I’ll try to find special times for meditation only, and I’ll try to be more systematic instead of burning as the wind flows. Because if the wind is too strong, the flames might consume me alltogheter.
It seems, at least for me, the question is not if I need a guru, or not, but if I need more than one ? Apparently, I do. 
In india the tradition has been, you have to surrender in totality to your Guru.He is considered your second father.The disciple after taking Diksha is called dwij means who has taken birth twice (once after taking birth from biological father). Then one by one your guru removes all the vikritis of the chitt.Mostly we have too much of Ego to listen to others and thats why we are against following others.we think why should we listen to others, at times we dont even listen to our parents, this is becos of our intellect.However god is realised by the souls when you have no ego, ahankar, intellect i.e when all the vrittis are controlled by the practice of yoga.A beautiful example of Guru shishya tradition of India is Swami paramhansa yogananda and his guru Sri Yukeshwar Giri, Swami Vivekananda and Swami Ramkrishna Paramhansa, Swami Dayananda Saraswati and Swami Virajananda maharaj and many more.Once Swami Adi Shankracharya tell his disciples to jump in water and out of all only one jumped and he chose him to be his successor.You require devotion towards your guru and faith in him.
Dear Hubert
Is it possible that you are trying to reach the inner peace you are talking about with your will.
I expierenced that it`s more to let go and let god.
Our intelect is putting so much traps on the way.
Patanjali says in the second sutra: ,Yoga happens when there is stilling (in the sense of continual and vigliant watchfulness) of the movement of thougth -without expression or supression - in the indivible inteligence in which ther is no movement."
This is out of the commentary from Swami Venkatesananda, which for me is the most straigth forward no nonsense commentary avaible.
If you are intrested in it here the title:
Yoga Sutras of Patanjali by Swami Venkatesananda, Published by the Divine Life Society, P.O. Shivanandanagar --249 192, Distt. Theri-Garhwal, U.P. Himalayas,India, ISBN 81 - 7052 - 142 -4.
Hopefully this can help you to modify your pratice and lead you closer to the inner peace you are longing for.
Sunny greetings
Lars
I just had a feeling from what you wrote, that this is what you miss? (to feel connected with everything)
It is in context with my latest thoughts, I am too influencable, (vata) and I need a strict schedule in my life. So I’ll try to find special times for meditation only, and I’ll try to be more systematic instead of burning as the wind flows.
A kind of routine might help. But don’t make it a law. Don’t forget the fun
It seems, at least for me, the question is not if I need a guru, or not, but if I need more than one ? Apparently, I do.
More than one sounds good - but that would only be possible with teachers not with gurus 
And if you don’t have already a quite solid yoga background it might confuse you.
Have you ever thought of going to a yogaretreat?
[QUOTE=Rashmi;5736]In india the tradition has been, you have to surrender in totality to your Guru. …[/QUOTE]
common lies of gurus:
Common Lies of the Phony World of Mystics
good guru guide:
FlameOut.org - Gurus - Good Guru Guide - How to spot a fake Buddhist teacher