I’ll simply reply and tally what you’ve already said but in different terms.
Your practice, diet, and lifestyle do not appear to be bringing you joy. Is the current fruit of your behavior the desired fruit? If it is, then continue on. If it is not…
Carefully examine how you are being served by this action and that action. The simple rules of cause and effect are at play (often simplistically confused with Karma).
To me, if the residue of my practice, the result, that which occurs from it…if those things are not bringing me closer to the Self, if I am not (over 5 years) moving toward my dharma or purpose for being here, then change is warranted. The practice itself, for me, should have significant, observable, and tangible result - beyond a shinny coat, open pores, and lean muscle mass.
If by changing your diet to one of more stability. If by eliminating Caffeine, Alcohol, Tobacco, and Sugar from your diet while adding the concepts of hydration, oxygenation, and alkalinity…if those things alone do not facilitate what I reference in the paragraph above, then perhaps a different sort of yoga practice is appropriate.
However, it is not for me to TELL you to do so. It is for you to experientially discover if you are being served by the things you are bringing into your life and in what ways that serving is occuring.
It is possible you are just angry (and thirsty). It is possible you have stirred this up for processing. It is also possible you are aggravating yourself with these lifestyle choices. As a yogi it is to us to carefully weigh the dualities that present themselves. Do not dwell on them but do examine the myriad of possibilities and rule out the ones that don’t bring you closer to the heart center and embrace the ones that do.
