Extended Emotional Reaction

Yoga Discussion General Yoga
#1

Dear all,

I have practiced what I thought was yoga on and off for a few years but for the last 2 months I have really started to centre myself and improve albeit so slowly.

I was doing Savasana the other day and consciously noticed that I wouldn’t/couldn’t let go of my hips. I had always noticed but ignored this previously. I did some research and discovered that I carry all kinds of baggage that I am struggling to let go of in my hips. I started working on Rodney Yee’s Hip opening series to learn enough to do something myself. It takes me a while to relax into a pose and breathe right - several sessions in fact - and then one day, it will just happen.

Anyway, yesterday night I did my own series so I could hold poses for as long as I wanted and really wait to settle into them. I didn’t have much of a reaction (apart from the pain of pigeon. I had a sports injury in my teens and never really addressed. My guess is in order to protect my knees, I maniputed and restricted my hip movements over the years so I have a lot of releasing to do). I digress!

Today, I’ve been the most anxious wreck. I feel the way I feel when something is very wrong, I and anxious and afraid PLUS if I then I had a triple shot of coffee (I don’t drink coffee; caffeine makes me crazy and anxious). I don’t understand at all. I thought I was supposed to feel release and relief.

I am now wondering, did I not hold the poses for long enough so the emotions came to the surface but haven’t gone. I never feel like this. I admit I am very good at sweeping things under carpet and bottling emotions especially of fear and disappointment, little did I know they were just waiting in my hips. Anyway, is that why I am feeling like this? what is going on and what can I do?

Should I do more? Should I just do breathing exercises and hope they go back where ever they are coming from lol!? Is this a normal reaction?

#2

ShotofBliss,
I can only tell you what I understand as a layman, but I am sure others who are teachers and who have done yoga more extensively than I will chime in soon.

What I understand is that doing the poses will help you release those energies that are pent up, but in some cases those emotions must be faced, and embraced, and accepted.
More experienced yogi’s than I will tell you how to do this.
As you embrace and accept those feelings and emotions you’ve kept pent up for so long, you may gain insight into the root cause of them, which in turn will help you in the future to recognize similar situations in which you react by repressing the emotions. You stop a vicious cycle by releasing and accepting and understanding these feelings.

Namaste` :slight_smile:

#3

Thanks Joanna63…

I understand-ish.

I will wait to hear from teachers on how to embrace and accept and release.

#4

Your garden hose was kinked and through the hip opening series you unkinked it. But then you stuck your thumb into the end of the hose as you weren’t ready to let what was backed up, flow.

Find a nice, quiet, safe space, lay down and take your thumb out of the hose. You may feel a rush of anxiety, sadness, anger, and every other emotion in the book as all the backed up, stale water is finally allowed to flow. Let them flow, relax into the release and let it spread through your body. Cry, scream, wimper, shake: let your body do what it needs to heal itself. You may experience vivid memories from the past or have visions you’d swear never even transpired. Don’t (re)attach to them, let them flow from you, you’re healing deep wounds. If you feel scared during this, a mantra that works for me is, “The past cannot hurt me.” Find one that works for you.

#5

Wonderful advice, David. Thank you, you were able to put into words that which I knew was right to do. It’s a wonderful analogy, to help pull it into perspective. I’ll remember when I have a breakthrough and perhaps react like ShotOfBliss did!

#6

Ok thank you, David.

But when you say just lay there, like in Savasana? Or more hip opening… I don’t know how I stuck my thumb in so I don’t know how to take it out.

#7

Ask your body. If it feels like you need more hip opening, go for it. If savasana feels right, go for it. I personally often use constructive rest position but first do lots of fatiguing poses and openers so that while I’m in that position, my psoas is allowed to shake. This sometimes helps get things moving for me.

#8

Hmmm! Not much happened. I got a little emotional a little bit after I was done. Perhaps I should have done less practice more just lying there.

I feel better today though so may be another time. I don’t feel scared anymore. I am quite looking forward to it.

#9

Don’t worry about whether you felt you made any progress with it, or if you did it “right”, or whatever. There is no right or wrong here, really. If what you did brought you a little relief, then it was right for you. Follow your instincts. If you feel that you may need more savasana, then go for it. I think the key here is not to have expectations.
It may have been the emotions working themselves out that made you feel so anxious, and it didn’t mean that you had to do something to help work them out - they did it in their own time. But it also could have meant that doing something to help them move along would benefit you. Does that make sense?
What I’m trying to say is, don’t have expectations, and the suggestions we made were to try to help relieve the anxiety, as well as to help you find ways to work through other emotions that might come up.

That you got “a little emotional” a little bit after you were done is a good indicator that things are still moving and happening. I say continue practicing, listen to your body, and if you feel like doing hip openers, or feel averse to them one day, or you just feel like lots of savasana or pranayam, go for it! That’s the beauty of yoga. Your body will tell you what it needs on all levels, and your job is to learn to listen to it and follow. :slight_smile:

#10

Thanks Joanna and David.

I know I definitely had expectations. But, learning everyday. Have a great New Year

#11

You’re welcome! And I’m so glad you feel better! My last post was right before I had to start work, so was a bit hurried.

So, do you feel a bit “freer” now? Maybe a little more balanced, or just somehow like you’ve gotten a weight off?

#12

I’m not usually that in touch with my feelings but I definitely don’t feel the way I felt yesterday and in Savasana this morning, I could let go of my hips. That never happens. I always feel like their are a bit tense and I can’t surrender even in bikram. I still need to be conscious of it though - my body gets tense but strangely I’m not stressed or anything like that. This is why I was so sure it must be baggage from the past.

I was hoping to get some flashbacks or something so I’d know what kinds of things tense me up but I guess those are the expectations we talked about.

A big thing for me with all of this is patience. I usually want everything and I want it now but I’ve noticed I’m becoming more like “will you die if you don’t respond now, or don’t have it now? didn’t think so!” lol! It’s a nice change of pace for me. Practicing my forward bends might have something to do with this. Because of the hip tightness (and possibly hamstrings a bit) I can’t lay my back flat on my legs. (except in bikram because of the heat and the pulling). Being relatively strong and quite rubber duck-ie in most other things, it really frustrated me. But today, I feel like I worked hard but I accepted where I was and didn’t get my knickers in a twist over it.

#13

Ahhh patience! Something our current society seems to disdain now lol, with instant messaging, texting, movies on demand, tivo. We want it all now now now and surely expect it now.

Yoga helps so much to bring us back to ourselves, to remember that being quiet and going slow actually feels very good. :slight_smile:

#14

[quote=ShotsOfBliss;46287]Hmmm! Not much happened. I got a little emotional a little bit after I was done. Perhaps I should have done less practice more just lying there.

I feel better today though so may be another time. I don’t feel scared anymore. I am quite looking forward to it.[/quote]
Based upon how you feel, I’d have to say a lot happened :slight_smile:

Considering when I asked my guru what it was like to be free from all his past issues he laughed and said, “I will no doubt have issues until the day I die” I think it’s safe to say this is a life long practice. Some steps will be big, some will be small, some will be backward. But if you continue to look forward to it without fear, then you’re doing better than most :slight_smile: