[QUOTE=JSK;29766]I have a feeling the situation would be different if the genders were reversed.[/QUOTE]
Though this post is a few months old, I just want to add that JSK’s advice works for any gender dynamic. It’s common for women to fall for attractive male instructors, and it can be a challenge to keep the mind focused when an attractive man puts his hands on me in a dimly lit room. And I am talking about adjustments.
My instructor is falling for me… gradually. What shall i do?
Fall head over heels for her both literally & metaphorically?Team up & do partner yoga (or even tantra yoga if she’ll have you & you’re advanced enough).? Ask her out with a view to gaining more than just a coffee sometime later? Beg for adjustments constantly particularly in down-dog? Or option 9- continue to enjoy,cherish and appreciate the privileged time spent being able to practicce with them, in their midst ,whilst having that special soul connection without spoiling anything? There is’nt necessarily a right or wrong answer here btw.Which door would you open?Ha
Its a tough position to be in. Good luck.
Easy to fall for an instructor. I’ve done it myself, & more than one.If you’re weak & vulnerable it does’nt help. As IA says from the start there is an inherent power mis-match from the start- just like doctors and their patients, psychologists and their patients, political figures, the Ayatolloah WBush and folk under them and so on.
If you teach from a pure heart you’re in a better position to discern when that mismatch might be occuring but it is easy to fool yourself. I think if you’re a teacher you’re going to have a lot of students making advances on you.I’m not a pteacher so i can’t speak from experience. That said i think if you are really attractive folk tend to swoon around you anyway and opportunity tends to present itself much more.People like and are attracted to attractive people.
When i say i’ve fallen for two. One was more of a soul connection and the other was probably more a curious mixture of admiring their physical beauty, lust and mild infatuation which does pass after a while , think of like a lost puppy… lol, but then i felt a bit weak & vulerable and your faculties are easily clouded.
I’ll relate you a story i read picked up while leafing through a copy of ‘OmYoga’ as one does of course or some other coffeee table yoga mag thing.
There was this guy, male instructor let’s call him Kevin say…
One day Kevin is approached by the Head of the Studio Lyndsey.
We’ve had a complaint the Head says about your attire , i.e your dress sense/ code, the way you dress.
Kevin think of the 4 copies of humble looking but deliberately dull ‘padme om’ shorts or whateveer he wears, the faceless T etc. After all he is’nt going out his way trying to look good- no competittion etc.And wonders what he has done wrong or what on earth she is talking about.She[I] is [/I]more experienced teaching than he.
Eventually Lyndsey says ‘For crying out loud, it’s your Meat & Two Veg’
Kevin is not sure how to feel or view this… He did feel mildly angry at one point. After some thought he decides he is changing nothing and concludes if they/ his students are’nt able to focus on the yoga then he can’t be doing his job well.
If you’ve got any stories or juice to share then please do. You could turn this thread into an Agony Aunt /uncle type column.
I have’nt been to classes certainly reguarly in a few years but i know that on the odd occassion when i’ve came into sidhasaana or semi lotus position or an other meditative-type seat after some viinyasa i’ve kind of surrepitiously & lightly lifted the “crown jewels” ,as i’ve heard some women call them, upwards and out the way in order to feel more free without squashing them with the heel or leg say.It felt kind of natural although obviously not in another context, like sitting in a subway for instance. .Although it did’nt seem that appropriate to get that embarassed about it too much at the time and i did’nt really.I know that folk shoudl be focusing on what they’re doing , not on what another person is doing.Also i guess if you do are feeling relaxed you are less inclined to feel as self-conscious.
Also i’ve had adjustments from female instructors, often the most delicate of ones almost like cues but i would’nt call them slightly erotic necessarily.Helpful & supportive,caring yes.
I have had somewhat of a crush on one of my yoga teachers, but thankfully it’s starting to go away.
Knowing that her husband is a martial artist and an expert with the broadsword has helped a lot, and I am determined not to lose my head over her.
yeah it’s easy to get head over heels with instuctors especially if they have a lovely voice, are eloquent and charismatic or even eccentric (otherwise endearing), know their stuff well, in anatomy and yoga related matters.
most likely then not you are not the only one who feels this way. they may even have sort of a groupie hanging around them. will you be one too? or observe yourself observing others?
in the event if the two of you do hook up what would your feelings be seeing her/him adjusting other students in class? how would that affect your practice in the long run?
Wow, that feeling of falling someone is a great feeling! I generally have a “go for it” attitude. There will be repercussions, but you may feel more regret if you don’t try.
Find out more about your yoga instructor. See if she has a policy against dating students. Asking her out for coffee is casual enough and will just help clarify things. Treat it as “just a date” a chance to get to know her better.
It's understandable to have feelings for your yoga instructor, especially if you connect with them spiritually. Asking her out for coffee is a nice idea, but it's important to respect any boundaries she might have. Maybe start by getting to know her better through casual conversations after class. And hey, if things progress, who knows? Just remember to keep things respectful and positive in your yoga practice. Good luck! Also, checking out classmates reviews might give you some helpful info.