Fear - performance

Q - I have a question for you. I have a very hard time dealing with my fears. Right now it’s fear of performing (an audition tomorrow and a recital the following day). Fear makes me feel ill. It makes me very unhappy and moody. I’ve been dealing with my fears all my life; terrible obstacles to LIVING.

What I realized about my fears is that, as a child, I was an extremely shy, introverted kid, with NO VOICE. I got into singing and performing because I was able to be a totally different person; it helped me overcome some of my shyness. Part of my fears is the deep feeling that singing, performing, being out there and assertive, is all a disguise; that the real me is that little voiceless child. And the fear is that the disguise is going to fall, and I’ll be voiceless again.

Do you have any suggestions?

Love, C

The best way of dealing with fears is what you are doing – sing out strongly with a soulful voice. The one difference is to direct your singing to call out to God in what form you have faith in for help. It is said that the best way to progress with our human conditions is to call out strongly “Please help me”. Singing and chanting can provide an opportunity for reaching out more strongly than merely the use of words.

It is important to know that the feelings you experience for others are genuine and authentic. They are neither an illusion nor a disguise of your self. You truly care for others and that love manifests as your glorious voice. When you sing, the heavens open up and they stand in awe at the love that comes through you, like a beacon of heavenly light reversed from its normal course and instead it comes from the earth upwards to the heavens. All are blessed by your love and fearlessness at asserting your gifts to others. Continue to realize what a gift you are as you share yourself. Allow all other feelings to pass like clouds on a windy day.

Also listening to spiritual chants from those who truly are calling on higher power = Gregorian chanting, Vedic, Christian = my current favorites are Krishna Das and Ammachi. Chants can be found at Krishnadas.com or ammachi.org

Fear is a vata imbalance and it can be regulated by lifestyle guidelines suggested in Prakruti - Your Ayurvedic Constitution by Robert Svoboda. The issue is with us all our lives; you are not alone in this. Fear is the deepest human difficulty and also manifests as confusion, delusion, and ignorance of what we are and what we are to do with our lives. Reading the Yoga Sutras or a personally inspiring book over and over, regularly also helps calm vata.