Hi Everyone.
First time posting on here but I wanted to share my thoughts today while they are fresh.
I’ve been meditating for around 2 years now and this year have been practicing some Kundalini yoga. 2 days ago I attended a class much like I have been to before but after I had some very intense feelings that are still with me now.
After the class I began to feel very irritable, everything felt faster and I was definitely not at ease. I went for some food with my parter and my stress levels and anxiety began to increase. It was as if someone had turned the volume up as everything in the restaurant was amplified. I felt massively sensitive to noise. For the rest of the evening I felt really stressed and anxious and not in control of my emotions and how I was reacting to my environment. My awareness of myself seemed to leave me.
That night I slept very heavily and had a strange dream… I dreamt that I was driving a car along a motorway somewhere hot, maybe a desert and I could hear this rattling noise. I couldn’t work out what it was but eventually realised it was a rattle snake. I was tempted to put my hand down to feel around to find it but knew I could get bitten. I can’t remember if it was fear or just curiosity about the snake, it’s a little hazy now. But the feeling was that there was something I needed to remove but couldn’t I guess. Maybe I was scared.
The dream felt very relevant somehow…
The next day I was feeling really anxious with lots of energy coming from my heart, almost like palpitations. Very sensitive to people and especially my partner. I wasn’t a joy to be around in the morning unfortunately.
The good news is that I took a step back, moved at my own pace and observed… Did some nice personal things for myself and slowed the pace right down and the anxious feelings are easing. I still have this anxious energetic feeling in my heart but it’s much better and I feel more at ease in myself.
I’ve recently reconnected with a family member and talked through some past conflicts which has been really good but timing wise it feels linked possibly.
It’s very clear today how I felt before and after he class and the feelings have been so powerful and almost out of the blue. I’ve been feeling out of control almost.
It’s a long post but I’d be interested in peoples thoughts as I’m keen to learn about this experience and understand more how I’m feeling.
Peace,
J