Hi all, I am having a hard time recently. I started a job in the cosmetics industry and have found myself in a world where everything is based on how you look, what you wear, how thin you are, what your hair likes, and what makeup you wear. I’ve found myself spending all my time worrying what others think of me, what I look like, how I need to lose weight desperatly and how I’m going to get the money to buy all these things I now need. I have strayed from my practice and am definitly not living in the yogic lifestyle. I don’t know what to do and feel lost. any suggestions?
In your opinion, what is a yogic lifestyle?
My girlfriend, a professional hair stylist, had this problem. She LOVES to do hair, but was disgusted by the excess of the industry itself. She ended up leaving her salon and now does hair for friends as a means of doing what she loves.
What is the correct way for you to proceed? I have no idea, but the options I see are:
- Leave
- Accept the situation but don’t bow to the pressures (and maybe start a new trend in the industry?)
- Bow to the pressures
Do you see other options?
I see your points. I don’t want to leave because my family needs the money, but not bowing to the pressure is probably what I need to do, I just feel constantly criticised so its hard to ignore.
I feel your pain my dear. Being criticized in such a manner sucks However, maybe you can turn it into an AMAZING practice and work to ground and center yourself and counter the criticism with as much love and acceptance as you can muster? Show them that true beauty isn’t painted on?
Or just key their cars on your lunch break like I would do
P.S. You may want to explore if some of that criticism is coming from within. I used to feel I was being criticized left and right. Once I realized a lot of that was coming from within and connected to the fact that I’m pretty damn awesome and just as importantly, got a better feel for who I am, I stopped feeling criticism with such intensity. I’m sure people are still critical of me, but I notice it much less than before. Interestingly, I find its much harder to not feel that criticism when it’s in written word rather than spoken, body language, or energetic.
If your best friend came to you with this same anxiety, what would You say to them? What would you say to them, honestly and completely, straight from your heart?
This problem has been mine in the past, time and time again. I worked in exec level jobs where you had to look and act ‘like a professional’; dated a man who very clear that he preferred women who were thin and well dressed; been surrounded by extraordinarily beautiful women while working as a photographer…
David’s words resonate, because more often than thought, it was I who was trying to live up to some standards I set for myself. It’s hard, but it helps when those urges come over me (to run and join the nearest gym, or do a high powered calorie-burning yoga practice instead of my daily meditative one at home), to remember that even if I join the ranks and look like them, I’m still not going to be them. In fact, I don’t want to be them. I know that sitting down and being still, doing some writing, talking to friends - that will bring confidence and joy into my life; not fashion, not cosmetics, not working out. Happiness and confidence on my face and in my heart will make me a way more attractive person to others and to myself, and I will attract the people who love me for exactly who I am, and not the image I physically project to the world.
It’s a struggle, it always is, to be yourself when everything around you pushes you to be otherwise; but I think it’s worth it, and it gets easier over time. For some reason… I find myself thinking of the movie, ‘The Devil Wears Prada’. If you haven’t seen it, maybe you should grab some over-buttered popcorn or some ice cream, and have a comfort movie night.
Thank you, I appreciate your replies. Yes, I definitly think that a lot of the criticism is coming from me. I see others looking perfect and living this Kim Kardashian socialite life and I feel like maybe I would feel complete if that was me. But then when I try, I feel even more empty. Some of the girls have commented that I don’t wear much makeup or that my eyes are not done up like they should be and I know that take that and run with it and make it even worse. I know I just need to be happy with who I am but I feel like people think that I am stupid that I would rather invest in yoga classes than True Religion Jeans or Jimmi Choo sunglasses. I know it sounds weird and it sickens me that some are so consumed with looks alone, but sometimes it definitly consumes me.
[QUOTE=Radianceinprogress;32431]I see your points. I don’t want to leave because my family needs the money, but not bowing to the pressure is probably what I need to do, I just feel constantly criticised so its hard to ignore.[/QUOTE]
It is indeed a difficult situation but nothing which is not to be handled. I am a plastic and reconstructive surgeon, and inevitably my job involves cosmetic and aesthetic surgery. Most of my job is done for breast reconstruction, but the hugs of people with breast cancer don’t pay the bills, even if that sound cruel, so I perform cosmetic surgery as my main [U]income[/U] to fulfil both my personal and professional desires (with the Breast Cancer Association), and my monetary needs (with the Cosmetics).
I understand how you feel and the difficulty it is to work in such industry but there is still a lot you can do inside to help others. You just have to look at it in a different way, and you’ll surely find a different path hidden behind. For example, I’ve been able to see how some people lives change drastically after a cosmetic operation. Most patients are good people, and some have a real purpose or reason on why they want to change the way they look. Sometimes, something like a Rhinoplasty can change someone life’s completely! After she/he feels better with her/his self, she might start looking for a more deep spiritual path in life, or might be able to perform better in her/his job, while not having to worry so much and be so aware of its physical looks.
Think it this way:
In the cosmetic industry, what ever you do in there, your goal should be, not to try to make beautiful people more beautiful or try to make everybody concerned about their looks, but rather to help those who have not been favoured with great looks to find peace with the way they look, and with such, embrace them to complete a more deep path in their life.
Maybe you are responsible for the first step in someone’s transformation: the self acceptance by mere looks, or by a hint of improvement on what they see in the mirror; maybe all they need to fulfil a complete and happy life is to have someone help them to surpass their main fear (social acceptance due to looks? own acceptance due to some Physical mistake?), and then, only then they can continue their path…
Magic its in the eye of the beholder…
[QUOTE=Radianceinprogress;32434] I know I just need to be happy with who I am but I feel like people think that I am stupid that I would rather invest in yoga classes than True Religion Jeans or Jimmi Choo sunglasses. I know it sounds weird and it sickens me that some are so consumed with looks alone, but sometimes it definitly consumes me.[/QUOTE]
Fortunately (and I will say fortunately, because this has helped A LOT of people to be able to take the first step in yoga practice or has made it possible for some to reach a yoga class or get a little info in yoga, thus, bringing some of those to real practice), Yoga has become more and more popular in the last few years due to the fact some Hollywood Stars like Madonna or Sting claim to have found more and more benefits in Yoga practice. This has made yoga to be a “cool thing” and no longer some “weird Indian exercises”. Such thing has happened as well with Buddhism and some other Asian millenarian traditions.
How then can they say you’re “out” when you’re being Hollywood’s reflection? (I know that was never your intention, but it just helps prove the point even in a haut-couture plastic world yoga classes still are considered as posh and “in” as anything else).
Culture has taken a path now a days where being “environmentally friendly” and “spiritual” has become the “new black”. You can either criticise it or take advantage of this by being able to find cheaper yoga stuff, more studios, etc. Some real traditional Yogi and other Spiritual Masters who had hidden in shadows for years have had this “yoga-spiritual boom” as their way to sustain their art and as an opportunity to share their wisdom and knowledge with other who really are searching for them in the middle of a plastic world with a plastic yoga style.
Again it just depends on which way you look…
You bring up something that is a very real problem. It begs the question of how we balance our lives, on the path of yoga, with the reality of living in the world or society we have chosen. And many fall dramatically to one side or the other, missing balance completely.
To me there are two parts to the reply for this. The first part will recur time and time again and this is “how do I live in the world having made the choice to also live the path of yoga?”. The second one is the nature of choice, cause and effect, and the adoption of full personal responsibility for our living.
And serendipitously these things can both be approached from the perspective of choice or choosing. We have the opportunity to be around people who empower us, who share their inner radiance, who understand our path and can see through the common veneers, peering into who we truly are. While we cannot completely close ourselves off (@*%#$ happens) we can effect what we can effect.
When we are faced with challenging people, postures, attitudes, relationships, the high ground (or yogic ground) is to realize we have chosen it and can often chose otherwise. When we cannot, then the mission is to find as much joy in it as divinely possible.