Friendly visits with teachers - is it acceptable?

Yoga Discussion General Yoga
#1

I posted a while ago about a teacher I liked. Well, not liked, but about her intentions.

Well since then, we’ve become casual friends. We talk online a lot, and have got to know each other better.

The thing is, I think I’m developing feelings for her, and would at the least want to go out with her as friends. I know she may not think of me in the same way, but then I haven’t felt this way in a long time about a woman.

I’m afraid in that if she says she doesn’t want to hang out, but still would like me in class, if it would be awkward. she is a good teacher, and should I have to find another class, the next teacher may not be per my needs (as any yoga class should be, as we all here would know). It’s just that we seem on a similar wavelength as people, and she seems like a pretty person externally and internally.

I’m thinking of asking her if she’d want a coffee one time, or go to the movies. but as friends, as I acknowledge asking her in a romantic context may spook her out. As aforecited though, I don’t want any decision to impact on her classes, as it wouldn’t be fair on her.

I know some may object to students and teachers hanging out, and I respect their views, however IMO as yoga is a social activity it lends to people connecting and there is no more wrong in hanging out then meeting somebody in a university class, or the laundry, or the supermarket.

#2

You have 2 options.

1 ask her and take the consequences.

2 do not ask her but also do not brood on it as it will consume your energy.

But i know elder people , regretting what they did not do or say as young and this is still stuck in their mind after so long time. Worst case is that you get rejected but also you don’t need to brood on it when you become elder. So even if she reject you what is that compared to a little bit more silence of your mind? I rather have a mind that is still than a restless monkeys mind. So even if you see a possible reject as loosing at the time being it could be the opposite later on , making your mind less restless. Or maybe she is thinking like you at this moment about how to ask you out without getting rejected her self. Only you can find out. Good luck.

#3

My rule is if it is serious and properly intentioned then pursue it. If it is “experimentation” of any sort, then drop it.

For the purposes of a committed, long-term relationship it is fine. For casual dating and playing around, IMHO, it is not (when Yoga is the modality).

#4

[QUOTE=InnerAthlete;84625]My rule is if it is serious and properly intentioned then pursue it. If it is “experimentation” of any sort, then drop it.

For the purposes of a committed, long-term relationship it is fine. For casual dating and playing around, IMHO, it is not (when Yoga is the modality).[/QUOTE]

Thanks. I respect this view, but to me yoga is not about spirituality. This may seem bad to some but I’m not a very spiritual person. Still, thanks for your comment.

#5

[QUOTE=fakeyogis;84622]You have 2 options.

1 ask her and take the consequences.

2 do not ask her but also do not brood on it as it will consume your energy.

But i know elder people , regretting what they did not do or say as young and this is still stuck in their mind after so long time. Worst case is that you get rejected but also you don’t need to brood on it when you become elder. So even if she reject you what is that compared to a little bit more silence of your mind? I rather have a mind that is still than a restless monkeys mind. So even if you see a possible reject as loosing at the time being it could be the opposite later on , making your mind less restless. Or maybe she is thinking like you at this moment about how to ask you out without getting rejected her self. Only you can find out. Good luck.[/QUOTE]

I understand, and to be fair i’m stuck at an empasse. But thanks, I guess sometimes in life there is no perfect situation.

#6

[QUOTE=namismybabe;84633]Thanks. I respect this view, but to me yoga is not about spirituality. This may seem bad to some but I’m not a very spiritual person. Still, thanks for your comment.[/QUOTE]
It is not a view. It is what it is by definition - not by my position or perspective.

To me oxygen is not about living. It’s just another element and it’s polluted (dirty) and often sticky and damn difficult to manage.

Of course it doesn’t really matter what I believe about oxygen. The reality is that oxygen is currently required for a human being to live in this atmosphere.

Yoga (since we’re discussing Yoga and not asana or jumping around like a monkey) IS the connection to the human spirit which dwells in the heart center. It can be renounced, avoided, disclaimed, or unseen - all of which are fine, but its essence remains what it is, regardless of belief or disbelief.