Funny Darkness

I have just begun meditating this past few months. I was seeing a Buddhist psychologist to try to remove blocks due to hidden memories and such but haven’t had funds to continue.

(I sometimes use guided meditations and lately have just trying to be no thoughts and concentrate on the breath)

My problem is and has been that sometimes I can meditate and lose consciousness - not like normal sleep - no dreams or movement. Wake up sitting upright (or whatever position i started in) and not drowsy just a change in state from black nothing to there. When I was doing guided body scan meditation I would black out parts of the dialog in a very frustrating way so that I could never see where I was in the meditation. (this occurred after the psychologist concluded my root chakra was blocked - it was like my subconscious was saying it wasn’t going to get caught at that again)

I do seem to benefit from the meditation even if I black it out.

The other question I have regards the colors you see when you close your eyes and meditate. When the psychologist helped guide me through a painful memory that arose and was finished with it the color inside my eyes was white. Other times it is other colors and shapes. When a friend was doing a healing on me I also saw white light inside my eyes. What is this?

Susan of a thousand questions.

Regarding the loss of awareness. Sinking down…

Open your eyes for a peek.

Practice some kumbhaka a little bit.

Do some fixed gazes.

Colors are tougher.

Could be the subtle elements.

Are they associated with a certain type of thought?

also work with kumbhaka for Gods Sake gradually very carefully. Best is if good guru shows you. If no guru follow the instructions in books like Light on Yoga, asana, pranayama, mudra, bandha - very very carefully.

Observe the instructions. Prana is very subtle. Not normally percievable. Don’t let this fool you!
It can pack a mighty punch.

I blew out a small hole in the cavity of my mouth because I was pushing too hard. Being too agresssive.

Lesson Learned.

The Vayu, The Prana, The Vital Energy, The Breath of Life. It is the magic key. The Asana just preparation. Valuable preparation!

I also got it and it’s friends stuck in the right main nadi in the forehead one time.

Whoops!

I wasn’t paying proper attention.

I had to use what I know of the nadis, the Kumbhakas (pots, essential breath techniques, retentions), the Bandhas (juntions, locks, seals), and asana to get it unstuck.

I usually have my eyes slightly open and relaxing during meditation. I probably wouldn’t use a ‘Buddhist Psychologist’ (even though I love, and practice Buddhism). I’m more in favor of modern Psychologists. Any doctor or Psychologist that deals with ‘chakras’, is a bit ‘how’s your father’? You might as well use leeches to cure cancer.