Have you ever been afraid to practice yoga?

Yoga Discussion General Yoga
#1

I’ve only been practicing yoga 9 months or so, 6 months with a both studio and home practice. Also, been meditating, reading the Sutras, and other books.
Also, I’ve been through a lot in my life, there is abuse of various kinds, definitely pain, and the stress of daily living.

There have been times that yoga has brought up emotions, mostly painful to be honest, but I’ve been able to control my breath, let the emotions come, recognize them, then let them release. But over the last week, no, not so much. Every yoga practice, every meditation is bringing waves and waves of emotions, energies, feelings, visuals just flooding and overtaking everything in me. To the point - I shudder when I see my mat. Do not want. Just do not. This is all spilling out into my life with tears always at the surface and I have to keep my emotions so under control just to be.

What to do? What is going on? How come millions of people can practice yoga and walk away from the practice and don’t even think about it, and I cannot? Is this an indication I need to stop practicing?

I need to be able to function in my daily life. This is not functioning.

#2

BeHereNow - do you practice journaling. I find that when I have been in very emotional states, it has helped to write down and document the feelings and ideas that come to me when I practice. Doing so is helpful in sorting out the root of what is awakening. Can I suggest that you practice things where are not really intensive, if you do? Just sit on the mat with a notebook, do one or two asanas, and record what comes. Having it down on paper is kind of like giving it away to a therapist to hold on to, so you can go about your business and come back to deal with it later. You may also be helped by having a private session with a teacher you trust who can guide you through the practice just enough to keep your mind in focus, so that it doesn’t run away so far that it makes you afraid to come back. I’ve had these same experiences before… weeks where I avoid my mat like it is the plague, simply because I know something is very wrong and haunting me, and if I go to the mat - it will come out and I will have to do deal with it. I have managed to eventually come back and find that it was never as horrible as I thought it would be… but it has taken me a long time. Sometimes the best thing you can do when you are overwhelmed is to find someone else to help you carry that burden for a while. If you have a teacher, that is great.

I might also suggest you try some vedic chanting, or sutra chanting. This always helps to calm my mind when its moving too fast.

Oh - Manorama does a good call-and-repeat chanting instruction which is available on iTunes, which you could use with any copy of the sutra-s, as does Kausthub Desikachar. There are print-outs of the the sutra chapters available on this site, in both the original (Manorama cd is full format only) and an easier broken-down format (you an find both of these on the cd by Desikachar). You could also try listening to some bajan chanting and sing along, like the cd by Krishna Das ‘Live on Earth, for a Limited Time Only’. I like listening to Om Namah Shivaya, because it starts slow and leads into some happy fast repetitions which elevate my mood.

And…
I don’t know if you are religious, or what kind of religious… but whoever or whatever you believe in - sometimes it helps to pray. If nothing else, just sit down and ask for help. If there is an answer, it will come.

:slight_smile: Best wishes, my friend.

#3

Thank you for such clear advice. Luckily I DO journal and indeed, it is one of the few things that pull me to center. I’ve never tried journalling from my mat though, but I’m very open to it.

I will check out the chantings - no, never tried that.

And prayer, always prayer.

These things will pass, but in the meantime, I just want to be and not think or feel so much.

#4

To respond I would need to have more information about the nature of the meditation practice you are doing, the sorts of pranayama of any, the frequency of your practice (including but not limited to the aforementioned) and the sort of asana practice you are following. In addition, some feedback as to the sequencing of your asana practice and the duration of savasana as well as the work you are currently doing in that pose.

There are a variety of ways to approach your topic (for me) but I do not want to give the impression that the emergence of latent emotions is “bad”. While the practice itself does (and perhaps even should) churn things up, you are on point when you state that you must be able to function in the world.

gordon

#5

I think you already know the answers to your questions. You have to stick with your practice and continue to witness those turbulences in your mind field, the more you are able to bring your witnessing consciousness to them and more you are able to witness them detached without judgement, the less potent they will become.

On the other hand, if you feel you are not ready to do this, then it is best to put Yoga and meditation on hold for a while, and try to work on those issues from the state of your conscious mind(counselling, NLP, life coaching) and practice the yamas and niyamas to help purify your mind. When you feel ready restart Yoga and meditation.

#6

[QUOTE=InnerAthlete;69241]To respond I would need to have more information about the nature of the meditation practice you are doing, the sorts of pranayama of any, the frequency of your practice (including but not limited to the aforementioned) and the sort of asana practice you are following. In addition, some feedback as to the sequencing of your asana practice and the duration of savasana as well as the work you are currently doing in that pose.

gordon[/QUOTE]

Meditation - I sit, with a candle, and try to clear my mind and focus on my breath and just let my thoughts come up and follow any that feel important

Pranayama - ? I know that means breath, but beyond that…

Frequency - 2 x a day for meditation

Asana - 3 x a week Hatha/Integral. 1 x a week Astanga, (all in studios/gyms) 2x a week home practice

Sequencing - I’d say fairly basic with a few intermediate moves. My core is not as strong as it will be, nor am I as flexible as I will be, so I am currently better with moves that complement my strengths of a strong back, arms, legs, and flexible hamstrings. Bindings are pretty far away. I work towards strengthening the weak, but without pain or force.

Savansana - 5 minutes or so in class. Longer at home. I’m not sure how to describe the quality other than to say sometimes it feels like I go very deep, very fast, and I get jolted out of it by the chime. When that type of savasana happens, that’s when deep emotions sometimes get stirred up later and it can be a rough night.

And yes…I am working with a qualified therapist about other issues. And reading the Stephen Cope book (Yoga and the Search for True Self) along with a Sutras translation and my Bible.

Did I mention I’ve also lost 70+ pounds in the last year through diet and exercise? About 40 more to go.

Also, know that while I’m grateful for any advice I get here, I will filter it through people who know me and whose opinions I deeply trust. This whole situation is a lot to process. But above all, I will keep myself safe

#7

keep practicing. we all go through things that need letting go

you store your emotions traumas abuse in your body and mind and they need to be released

practice alone at your house if you start crying but keep working through it.

it needs to be released

#8

Yoga is healthy for just about anyone. You don’t have to be flexible to do yoga; although flexibility will come naturally with regular practice. All you really have to do is show up with a desire to do your best. These programs are appropriate for beginners, as well as beginners with health challenges.

#9

After speaking with both my therapist and yogi (who pretty much independently said the same thing), I recognize that the emotions and energies were wounds from my past, that my subconsious is trying to expel/purge/exorcise. I returned to my mat tentatively and when the same thing happened yesterday (all new memories and emotions!) instead of fighting or asking ‘why?’ I just focused on controlling the breath and observed and tried to figure out “what?” as in “what was important for me to learn?”

The difference is huge.

Pain is temporary…healing is forever.