Thanks
You can’t. It was decided that would be a read only archive of Makunda Stiles Q/A which was created when this forum was a very different place.
Can you elaborate for those who were not here then?
This forum was originally started for Makunda Stiles to share his wisdom. The student of his that started it then sold the site. At some point, Makunda stopped contributing. Later on, I purchased the site and out of respect for Makunda and after discussions with Nichole, we decided to keep his wisdom in an archive forum so others might benefit from it.
Interesting. I went back and this is the first thing I read, and the very questions I am now asking myself (except boy instead of girl - and the oil massages). I couldn’t quote from there:
Q 1 - But I have more questions for you… It came from your instruction to “persist in the Tantrik sadhana and learn to hug more deeply to your own Spirit”. It is the learning to hug more deeply to my own Spirit. I have a newly uncovered block with that instruction. It seems that I can freely and openly hug others but not myself. Does this diminish the love that I give to others ? Or will sharing my love and energy with others help me to love myself ?
Q 2 - This block is a small hard kernel nut that resides in the center of my chest. I feel discomfort where it is right now and sometimes it is catches my breath and I cannot breath deeply. Of course, I just released a deep sigh and the discomfort is reduced…
At one level, the outside layers of this nut, is the little girl spirit that feels rejected, dejected, unloved and unworthy. I would like to say it is the result of the poor relationship that I had with my father but he now lives in my heart and I have forgiven him and I love him.
Nevertheless, this feeling still persists and it colors my responses to any perceived rejection by a man. I identified that I was holding on so tenaciously to a perceived rejection by a possible male employer ( so much for aparigraha…) At least, now identified, I let it go.
Q 3 - Armed with the knowledge of yama and niyama, I am using it to evaluate my thoughts and actions. And I am horrified by how much violence I have towards myself. I have been taking greater care of myself by lovingly preparing my meals and giving myself oil massages but these are interspersed with working late, and ignoring my need for rest and relaxation. But now I know better.
I am also focusing on this kernel during my practice. In my pranayama practice, I massage the nut with my in breath, and allow the out breath to remove the loosened layers of rejection. In my meditation practice, I remind the little girl nut how each of the goddess love her, and how much each mortal being that I know loves her. I hope that this helps her because inside of that nut is the limitless ocean of love and compassion that has to be released. I also massage this area during the opening suppressed energy practice. The feeling subsides for awhile but then returns. What else may I do ?