over the years i have experienced that every thing happens exactly the opposite of what it think. this is because i add either excitement to my thoughts or some happy emotion. if i am expecting something good to happen to me it happens exactly the opposite. if i expect a profit of 10,000 it turns out to be a loss . this happens in most of the cases , even my relations. is there any way i can over come this ? .
to add to this it also happens that if i think of amy girl whom i like she goes away from me ,and if i stop thinking she comes back to me. but it is not possible that i like a girl and dont think of her , is there any way by which i can avoid this, or break this law which is in my life for years. its more like a curse to me and i cant get rid of it.
Well, that’s the point. It is fate because we do not know it. If we knew it, we would try to cheat it, somehow. 
But using your given example, the answer is in the question you asked.
Don’t think of the girl, don’t think of the ten grands, and they’ll come to you, if that is your destiny. And if they do not come, you are still at no loss, because you were not expecting them anyway.
You see, your problem is that you think you’ll be only happy if you have the girl and the money. But that’s just excitment, what builds attachment, and that leads to pain. Think of happiness what is lasting. The only lasting happiness is the knowledge of the Self, and acting from the Self. Anything else is just a distraction.
But we can’t just do this, because if it was this simple, the world would be full of realized souls.
What we can do, is to start towards this goal, and make small steps every day, through discrimination, dispassion, and unattached actions emerging from these.
We must learn the joy of letting things come and go. Every time when we let something go, with no regrets, we make space for a little portion of peace and light in ourselves.
Don’t think of the girl, don’t think of the ten grands, and they’ll come to you, if that is your destiny.
but i some what dont trust in destiny, destiny is a effect of karma, if i do not act i will never get what i am destined for , u say of self realization, but i am the eldest son and need to take care of me family, id love to do tapasya but i am bound by my obligations to my family, so what i understand is that i need to do my job without expecting any results. but when i fail to do what i am supposed , when i make the wrong choice , that i when i regret, for some reason i always end up making the worng choice as if it were forced upoun me.
so tell me is it possible that i become rich by just trusting destiny , dont u think that i should carve my own niche or create my own destiny .
I have to work too. I have a family to sustain. I am the only employed male in my and my wife’s family. Our parents grow old. So I have to think of the family, as the head of the family. I have responsabilities, to try to make their life acceptable. Food, shelter, medicine, you know. Maybe a holiday trip per year, too, but not necessarily.
If your question is how to perform your duty … well, everyone has to work, to think, to use any talents what has been given to us. Don’t be afraid. I am a christian, and Jesus said: Everything what you need, will be given to you, as God knows better what you need, than you do. He also said, ask and you will recieve. As the apostle James teaches, we are miserable as we do not ask, or if we ask, we ask for the wrong things, to gratify our desires through the senses.
He does not teach inaction, laziness, just an assurance that your efforts, if sincere, will be rewarded. I am not trying to convert you, I just use these as examples. I am sure any reasonable hindu will agree with these teachings.
Of course you’ll meet difficulties, we all do. Sometimes that shows our path is not what we should be on. Sometimes they make us stronger so we can bear greater responsabilities. Sometimes we must fail and suffer terribly to realize that God is our only refuge, as Lord Krishna said.
So do whatever you can for those you are responsible for, ask God (Brahman) to help you in this, seek your motives if they are indeed sincere, and you cannot fail. If you still fail, while doing everything you are able than God must have some other purpose for you. But first do everything you can, and watch for God’s hands, as He often gives help from directions you would not expect. Be open, and flexible in your thought. A little change in the attitude of a business partner or client … this might be His work. Use it.
A seemingly stupid idea what you’d usually throw away … think twice. Opportunity is everywhere, we just have to learn to percieve them, and use them.
God bless you, my friend, may you find the way you are destined to walk.
Hello lucastp_532
That is an improtant Question.
And it is directly related to your believe system.
Thougts are creative even the unconcious ones.
Also the Question on the girls is related with attachment.
The thougth: I want to be with this girl for ever includes the fear of losing the relation and there it becomes difficult.
The thougth to earn enough money for the family is often related with the fear to fail.
A good way to work on your believe system is by the use of affirmations.
There is a wonderfull book written by Sondra Ray, it`s title is : Loving Relationships.
Also a book wriiten by Jim Morningstar, title: “Spirituell Psychologie” migth be helpfull for You.
All the best
Lars
[QUOTE=lucastp_532;8923]over the years i have experienced that every thing happens exactly the opposite of what it think. this is because i add either excitement to my thoughts or some happy emotion. if i am expecting something good to happen to me it happens exactly the opposite. if i expect a profit of 10,000 it turns out to be a loss . this happens in most of the cases , even my relations. is there any way i can over come this ? .[/QUOTE]
I think there’s a rush to conclusion here without enough “evidence” for same.
The reality of what “happens” may have nothing at all to do with the addition of excitement or some “happy emotion”.
The result from expectation is often disappointment.
Expectation is the fallacy that we know, can predict, or dwell in that which has yet to happen, the future. In the yogic context we have only this moment, only now, the present. The practice is designed to bring the student into the present moment. In the present moment there is no past or future.
That does not mean we forsake the responsibilities that we have taken on either my conscious choice or by karma, if you will. So if you have a responsibility to provide for your family, a responsibility that you have accepted, then it must of course be honored - assuming it is authentic and not merely a sense of guilt that generates the behavior. It must come from the heart.
As we do not know our outcomes, we work toward being able to take whatever outcomes are delivered to us and to take them without reacting. That means not getting too high from the good nor getting too depressed from the bad. They are each taken as an experience we are meant to have on this path in the physical body.
To use your example, it may be your souls mission here to be bankrupt and alone. We can not know. It may be for the lesson of dealing with such things or it may be the experience your karma warrants from a previous life. Either way, don’t get too wrapped up in it. View it all as a learning experience asking the internal question “what is there here to teach me”?
Again, I want to stress that none of this diminishes free will at all. You absolutely can engage the process of making choice in your life. If the choices you are currently making are leading to poverty and chastity then perhaps consider different behaviors.
Hi Lucastp,
Why this intense identification and attachment with money, wealth and beauty? I think you should know by now that all this (what you desire) is just part of maya and yes we must each play our role on the great stage of life to the best of our ability, but we should become de-ttached from all of this and realise the impermanent nature of our desires. Live your life without expectation, allow God to flow and I can promise you all will come to you. As the great Christian yogi Jesus once said, look the lily in the field do not worry about what it should wear and the bird in the sky not about what it will eat tomorrow, why then should we worry because we are looked after by God.
As my own teacher once said Let go and let God.