In my post today I want to discuss Kundalini and Falling in “Love”. I put love in quotes because for me love can have many qualities.
I will keep my story as brief as possible. The entire store could make a short novel. I am in my early 20s and have been doing yoga for a couple of years now. Like many of my fellow yogi’s I started out doing it for exercise, but have been slowly moving more towards the meditative and spiritual side of things.
At first I was turned off my Kundalini. I thought it was weird and seeing fellow americans do it in an upper class gym with upper class white people felt like some sort exploitation of an ancient eastern tradition that none of us are really culturally aware enough, or smart enough to understand.
However, I have a dear friend who LOVES kundalini. She had the misfortune of loosing her mother and her sister in the same year and Kundalini was literally her rock. I was amazed and deeply touched at how much kundalini helped her through her time of suffering and I loved how kundalini seemed to not only heal her, but give her a sort of ethereal glow that followed her around throughout her day. I was intrigued.
I became a lot more open minded about giving it a shot. What pushed me over the edge was meeting a man and kundalini instructor who I am shy to say, I am pretty sure I have fallen in love with. I am a very emotional person and used to feeling things deeply, but this seems to go . . somewhere else. It feels . . .spiritual . . . I feel like I have tapped into something bigger than myself and bigger than the man who attracted my attention. We dated for short while, but I recently moved out of the country. He mentioned he felt we had a special connection as well. He felt that my affection for him healed him in some way. It is very easy to heal people who want to be healed. I do really care about him. I also seem to have fallen love with yoga and wish to pursue other paths . I found a wonderful ayurvedic studio in my city.
So . . my question. Is this crazy? I know it is quite normal for people to fall in love with spiritually awakened beings. How do you know if what you love is the persons essence or some other . . . bigger essence that you just happened to glimpse in them? Does it matter? Do I let things take their course or did I actually find something special that is worth working for? I know I am a silly romantic, but I really do feel like I have come across something I have never experienced before. I do realize that to love fully there can be no fear . . .so I sort of feel like I am jumping into some huge anonymous abyss without a parachute on. I am no fearless but I do feel brave. I think yoga makes me crazy . . . crazy happy . . but crazy . . .
Opinions? Similar experiences? Advice for a novice in love and yoga? Resources? Discussion? Anything is welcome . . Thanks in advance . . .