I come from a wonderful Kripalu Yoga Studio and I love all of my teachers. They are the most interesting and supporting and uplifting people I have ever meant. Here is my dilema. One key that they always focus on is loving yourself for who you are right here and now. I can never find that within me to do that. I feel I have too much baggage or am not perfect enough for that kind of love. Does anyone know how to break this cycle. Do I need to have a yoga “ah-ha” moment to get there? Thanks.
hey radiance,
do you need to have an aha moment? cant tell you what you need. I am a school teacher of autistic children and sometimes they come with severe behaviors. For some reason I have been blessed with the gilt of acceptance. I accept them as they are. This in turn has led to many changes in behaviors and improvements in their lives. Of course not every child but most of the severe behaviors have lessoned. why? well If I resist who they are, they will pick this up and resist me, it has happened many times with the chilfren and other people in life. Once they realize I am not going to force them, they seem to relax
you are probably really patient with others. You probably love others who have more “faults” then you may have. do you love your parents, your children, your significant other, friends, etc… who are not perfect? If you love one who is not perfect, why not love yourself?
Eckhart tolle has a quote, "when you accept others as they are this allows them to be who they are and autimatically shifts them into a freer space."
when you accept and love yourself as you are, I believe this will allow you to make changes from a different space, not out of the space of “have to” but out of a loving space of "choose to"
thanks for the posting, helps me to look at myself
with love, even though you are not perfect 
brother neil
You have pointed out a common dilemma in today society. The FEELING of inability to love yourself. And no one can give you a 5 step plan to loving yourself because it’s you who must make that choice. And give it time, with a regular practice it very well should come. The best SUGGESTIONS I can reccomend is the following:
- Regular yoga practice (this means more than asanas & pranayama. Include relaxation & meditation as well and practice the yamas & niyamas and so force.)
- Keep a book by your bed. Every morning before even crawling out of bed start writing some affirmations to yourself. Affirmations are simple positive statements to yourself. (Example: I am truthful vs. I do not lie). I use elaborate doodles and sometimes making interesting text art to express the point I’m getting across. Don’t worry. It’s not for any one’s eyes.
- Consume with compassion. In other words steer towards foods that make you feel good inside and out such as organics, vegetarian ect. This also means not over consumption but do not demonize the act of eating. This is the fuel for your spiritual practice.
- Some schools of thoughts say, if you have an issue with your physical body draw attention to a different aspect of your body you do like. I don’t agree with this concept, rather focus inward on inner beauty as well as becoming in tune with your own personal energy and the energy of others. Have you ever met someone who has had this glow about them? They might not be the stereotypical pretty but rather transcending the concept because of the energy they radiate. Your beautiful inside and discovering this makes you radiate an energy no physical beauty could match.
- Most importantly. Don’t worry about loving yourself. YOU are love. (I know, I know I sound like a hippie flower child tree hugger dirt worshiper but hey that’s what I am). Just be love. Show love to a stranger by smiling and internally saying to yourself “I love you”. They will not hear but people can feel that.
Don’t beat yourself up over not loving yourself. It will not help you. And everyone will find something that works for them. I have had many Ah-Ha moments on the mat but it was how I integrated them into my life that finally made the difference. I’ve had a tough battle with an eating disorder (my weight varying from 225lbs - 95lbs in 1 1/2 years) since I was 12 and there was never an on/off switch. Sometimes it can be difficult but please, always know and understand, loving yourself is not something you will find a method to but rather something you will discover in yourself.
Much Love
Wow thank you both so much. Those replies really touched my heart and gave me a lot to think about and a lot that I can use. I just want to be comfortable in my own skin and I know that if I take some of that good advice and just kind of let myself love me by letting go of my insecurities I should be able to do it. But some of your advice I had never thought of before and I thank you for that advice because it will really help. Thanks all. Peace.
thank you radiance
thankyou
very difficult topic for some people who have never experienced love
Om
Hello dear Radiance in progress,
You shall never find that quality within yourself, because it cannot be found. Love is that which is doing the looking for love!
You will find your complete love and compassion when you stop trying to better yourself. If we try to love ourselves we are simply still trying to better ourselves, and trying to better ourselves is a sheer denial of our already perfect nature. If you keep trying to love yourself you are denying the simple truth that you are already perfectly loveable! I love you. And I know that you love yourself also without conditions. You only belief that you don’t.
This may sound stupid, but it’s the truth as I see it and it’s a truth we should all consider!
Love is never found for it is not a certain experience or feeling. Love is that which is there already looking at [U][I]every[/I][/U] experience and feeling. Hence, Love cannot be separated from any experience or feeling. Existence in its entirety is nothing but love. Where one might see solid objects separate from one another, I see substance-less love as the sole source of all.
How to love yourself? It cannot be done. It’s already the case in every moment. You can realize this by resting as the looking that you are. Don’t look or try for anything in specific, simply relax your seeking and rest as the open awareness that you are in which all arises and dissolves as your perception.
All your personal baggage is simply 1 thought arising that refers to all your past experiences. These experiences themselves have not left a solid trace somewhere. They are completely non-existent in their own right. They only exist in that one single thought that refers to them every time you think about them. Believing in the story of [I]That[/I] thought is what makes you suffer and feel inferior or subjected to your in reality non-existent baggage.
Stop believing in any story about you needing to fix yourself or having baggage. Please love yourself by not believing in any thought that promotes change of any kind and you will stumble across the undeniably obvious truth that is Love regardless of who you are.
You cannot cultivate it, it’s simply here already. All attempts are futile since they all deny the already present indestructible nature of Love.
In fact it’s so simply that all we embark upon to find it, makes us miss it. It’s so obvious that we overlook it. Like a fish looking for water because its so obvious. Like a pair of eyes looking for themselves in what they perceive.
Rest as you are and you will find that love is all there ever was, is and will be. You have not to like yourself in order to love yourself, both liking and disliking yourself happen within Love/Awareness.
Relax and allow forgiveness to happen all by itself. Love cannot be created, it’s that in which all creation happens.
Oh and don’t try to get rid of your insecurities before you think you can love, instead, love your insecurities as being expressions of that One Love.
Love Love Love,
Bentinho.
Thank you so much, that was beautiful and something I definitly needed to read. I will take this knowledge and use it in my daily life. It was beautiful. Thanks to you. You are truly aware of yourself and your presence is amazing. Thank you for your gift.
I am very happy you received it like I meant it.
Much love to you,
B.
Nice Post. Thanks for Sharing