I’ve had a bit of a problem recently which has lead me to think I can’t carry on with my yoga practice. I just joined this forum to see if I could get any advice on the matter.
Long story short the last time I meditated I left my body and went really really far away, and couldn’t get back into my body. Not because I didn’t know how to but it actually didn’t exist anymore because I’d realised that it never existed in the first place. So there was nothing to get back into. I went past the illusion of reality as it were, and then reality ceased to exist for me. I was just part of a field of consciousness and I’m pretty sure I wasn’t breathing anymore. Needless to say it was utterly terrifying and when I eventually did get back inside myself I was totally numb. I walked to the bathroom and splashed cold water on myself but I could barely feel it and everything seemed faded. The scariest part is when I tried to explain to my boyfriend what had happened and I got to the part about reality being all an illusion, everything started to fade again. Even posting on this forum now I’m aware that I’m maybe starting to slightly dissociate while I remember that this is all just an illusion!
I’ve decided to never meditate again because frankly I don’t think we should be playing around with it. Ultimately what is the point? If you feel the need to “escape reality” then that’s a problem with your reality because we’re all here right now for a reason. We’re not here to then be going elsewhere. If you want to spend your time elsewhere I’d say you need to work on the aspects of your life you don’t want to live through. In my opinion. I’d also like to add that I’m in no way a mentally unstable person but after my experience if I can definitely see how easy it would be to lose grip and basically just go insane (I feel like I totally get what happened to Jung now).
Anyway, my problem is I really really like yoga. I have problem muscles and joints (fibromyalgia and hypermobility) and have found yoga really great for strength building. I haven’t gone to any classes since this happened though because I don’t want to take part in the meditation at the end!!
I suppose I just wanted to hear from anyone who may have had any similar experiences with meditation and how they then went forward with their yoga practice. I know I should probably just start going to the gym instead but I really really don’t want to!