Men feeling ostracized in all female class?

Yoga Discussion General Yoga
#1

I attend a “power”/most advanced for the location, yoga class at a YMCA (I’m pretty new to yoga and just starting out plus I had a membership there already) that is always all female with a female instructor. I’ve noticed that the instuctor seems to neglect observing me during class and right after class even during the namaste salutation for instance. I’ve taken many, many classes at this time and location so I really do think it’s a pattern.

the classes here are where the teacher leads the group in the poses, no adjustments are given by a teacher who walks around which sounds like it differs from many others experiences. There are a few traditional yoga studios or spas that have yoga and my plan is to gradually try those out to see a contrast and perhaps be able to practise yoga more seriously.

it’s not a really big deal and I don’t want to sound petty I was just wondering if other (men) mostly ever felt this or experienced this. I don’t clamor for an all male class, quite the contrast, I like the fact that in general yoga is about your space, your practice and it’s not a contest to see who can hold Chataranga the longest or get deepest into the pose. There’s no winner, end game or final pose, always moving into the pose etc.

There’s supposed to be no ego and I like this in response to the free weight area for instance.

sure there are attractive women in the class but I’m not there to gawk, stare, pick anybody up and certainly not make anyone feel uncomfortable. In fact sometimes I feel as the only guy I have to be quieter and with my head down concentrating to prove that I’m serious and not just there for trivial reasons. Of course after taking classes for like 5 months you’d think that I’ve proved that!

Like I say, it’s not a big deal but I’d like to hear others perspectives (including women) about this. I feel sometimes that yoga is a womans world but the truth is yoga is for everyone, from 5 to 95, skinny and overweight and it need not be some arm balancing ashtanga pose to get all the benefits.

#2

I had just one man in the class for about a year. The rest of the class were wemen. He was just fine. I think it is up to teacher to make everyone welcome and comfortable. If you want more attention from the teacher - just ask for it.

#3

I am often the only male in my class, but it’s getting more populated by males lately. I have never felt ignored or neglected. In fact, sometimes I get a bit more attention, mainly because of my stunning good looks :wink: I have also taken classes at other studios with no noticeable difference.

I think ‘your mileage may vary’ in this case. Try out a couple of other studios and see if you find one that feels more comfortable. Men are the fastest growing segment of the yoga practice market BTW.

#4

Through experience, I’ve also noticed that if you are the fat one in the class - you are also ignored. Apparently adjustments aren’t made on fat people.

#5

So sorry to hear of your situation! I would certainly hope this is not the case in most yoga classes.

I’ve, over the years, have had many male students ranging in age from 17-70. Never had a problem. I do adjust, and I always ask permission first, be it male or female. Perhaps share with your teacher how you feel? If that is not a viable option for you, try the other classes you mentioned. She may also feel somewhat intimidated, especially if she is a newer teacher. While yoga is primarily dominated by females, it is still a mans world. Pained me to say that!

#6

I find it strange that you don’t get proper attention though you are the only guy! I as a yoga teacher/instructor make sure i make every new student feel very good. And especially when i have men walk in to the class i make sure they are not not acknowledged but even made comfortable. I used to have no guys in my class till i requested women to bring men with them. Most men stay regular in my class and some of them bring a lot lot of humour to my class. Diversity makes our classes very interesting.
I have a few activities that the classes enjoy. The person who knows most fellow student in the class gets a prize. It has brought the students much closer and i feel a positive energy in my class now. We also have bi-monthly lunch or dinner with the class. And once a year i open my home to every Yogi to celebrate Diwali with our family.
I used to feel the same disconnect in my class in the beginning but slowly i feel we have a small yogi-family.
How about making a few suggestion in the class to bring each one closer together? Most of my regular students are regular because they got to know each other.
Good Luck with your Yogsadhana.

#7

Then you go to India, and many of the male teachers are only interested in teaching women…

If you feel you’re not getting enough attention, the you’re not. A teacher should be interested in a committed student, you’re showing dedication and spirit yet this is not being returned by the teacher. There could be a good reason behind it, however I’ve learned over the years to trust my instinct when finding a teacher. I’ll give a class my all, but if that is not being returned then I don’t waste my time and money.

Maybe, have a talk after class and present her with any questions you may have about your practice, this is a good way to feel the energy between student and teacher.
If I am interested in investing much time and energy with a teacher, I introduce myself stating my experience and aims in my practice, and why I have come to his/her particular class.
In todays informal world of yoga commercialism this comes as a surprise to some, but a more serious teacher who has taken time to explore yoga will know where you are coming from and respect you for it, as would a martial arts teacher.

Gender shouldn’t really come into the equation. Yoga is for everyone regardless of race and gender. Terms such as ‘female dominated’ are not a part of the practice and the path to God.

#8

Do you think that maybe, just maybe you are quite good at yoga? And that maybe there are others in the class who need a bit of extra attention to you? I have quite big classes and sometimes I have to adjust quick and only the obvious sometimes get adjusted? I also have some men who come who rarely get adjusted, not because they are men, but because they are totally working their postures and their breathing is totally in the ‘zone’, so to speak…I bet your teacher isn’t ignoring you for your gender… I bet you’re just doing really well…

#9

I am sorry you feel neglected. Do you notice that the females are given more attention?

I read: “the classes here are where the teacher leads the group in the poses, no adjustments are given by a teacher who walks around which sounds like it differs from many others experiences.”

I do not make physical adjustments in my classes. Here is one reason why:

From- The Science & Philosophy of Teaching Yoga & Yoga Therapy
Koay and Barenholtz:

In some yoga schools, such as Kundalini Yoga, a teacher never adjusts a student physically. This is based on the philosophy that as teachers, we should respect where our students are today in their practice, and that ultimately their inner wisdom will guide them there.

#10

Hello Chitta Control

What an interesting post relative to your chosen user name.

As a male student I have not found myself feeling neglected or overlooked and I’ve never, ever felt something as strong as “ostracized”.

Could you clarify some things for me? You state that the class is led and therefore the teacher stands on the mat at the front of the class and performs. Fine. All too common. And so there’s no reason to engage a conversation (here) about the nature of adjusting students.

So then in what way(s) are you being treated differently? No eye contact? No one is talking to you? What specific behavior on the part of the teacher would you alter in order to levelize your treatment?

Teachers all bring personal issues to their teaching. Some are not adept at speaking up, while others are too loud. Some are timid and others are aggressive. Some see superficially while others see deeply. Some are pragmatic while others are woo-woo. When a teacher is well trained these issues are addressed and they are moved toward more balanced states of being. However it is unlikely that a teacher who is practicing along with the class is a well trained teacher of yoga for one very obvious reason; it is impossible to see student safety issues when you are on your back looking at the ceiling.

My point here is that you likely don’t have to be anything other than yourself, don’t have to prove your level of commitment, don’t have to be validated from any external source whatsoever. When we are secure in who and how we are, we do not need or seek the approval, agreement, or permission of others.

Your current teacher may simply be unaccustomed to teaching male students, have an unresolved or in-process issue with men, or isn’t well trained enough to give you the attention in your practice that it has grown to require. It could also be that you are looking for some external approval and that would be something for you to look inside and address - or dismiss. Both are “okay” after consideration.

gordon

#11

many thanks to ALL who replied, I couldn’t log on yesterday for some reason.

Lotus - I don’t know if it’s a man’s word, after all there are now more women in the workforce (in the US at least) than men for the first time in history and 60% of college grads are women! I do know one thing for sure, it is a divided world, and not just politics but also between the genders and between almost all people based on some silly reason. It sure seems like there are alot of very angry people walking around the country. Yet another reason I find the quiet internal gazing of yoga to be even more useful right now.

I do think I’m going to try finding some new classes to attend, there’s a yoga studio not too far from here and a spa that has yoga classes as well. 35 miles from here there are even more options. So at least I do have options.

Sophie - I do work very hard in my asanas, I’m always trying to move deeper into the pose on the exhale of a forward bend or twist for instance or remembering to lengthen up and bend at the middle of the back before a back bend. I consider myself a student , always trying to learn so as to do things right and safely.

Inner - what can I say!!! If ostracized was too strong than “feeling left out” or something could be more appropriate. I believe I answered your question in my OP. I’m not at all looking for validation, just would like to be treated equal and I sincerly don’t think that’s occuring as it’s a pattern that’s been established over the last 15 classes. However, I don’t think even that the teacher is doing anything malicious to me , intentionally that is, but to me it’s a very real thing occuring, i.e. I’m certain of what I’ve described. Perhaps it’s true that my practice has grown enough that a more serious or different environment in needed. I plan to explore that very soon.

Chitta just means the whole (3 parts) mind or memory so I thought it was a fun play on words but even that you see with some special meaning!

but to answer your question, yes, I do know who I am. I’m a guy in my late 30’s who’s always been very active and athletic and I’ve never found anything quite like yoga, it’s completely changed my life and I find myself exploring the eight limbs of this ancient Indian art as well as Eastern religion and thought while feeling a kinship with it like I’ve never felt before. I’m slowly rejecting my Western culture and beliefs for what I feel is a more pure life. Yoga has allowed me to look deep inside myself and see at least part of my true inner being, my real self and who I really am and it’s helped me a great deal.

Namaste to all and thanks for your input,

Om Shanti,

Chitta (non:D) Control

#12

Hmmm well your OP said “…the instuctor seems to neglect observing me during class and right after class even during the namaste salutation for instance.”

So what you are saying is that the teacher looks at all the other (female) students but does not look at you. Is that correct?

Yes that would be slightly odd behavior over time. Agreed.

#13

[QUOTE=Chitta Control;51868]I attend a “power”/most advanced for the location, yoga class at a YMCA (I’m pretty new to yoga and just starting out plus I had a membership there already) that is always all female with a female instructor. I’ve noticed that the instuctor seems to neglect observing me during class and right after class even during the namaste salutation for instance. I’ve taken many, many classes at this time and location so I really do think it’s a pattern.

the classes here are where the teacher leads the group in the poses, no adjustments are given by a teacher who walks around which sounds like it differs from many others experiences. There are a few traditional yoga studios or spas that have yoga and my plan is to gradually try those out to see a contrast and perhaps be able to practise yoga more seriously.

it’s not a really big deal and I don’t want to sound petty I was just wondering if other (men) mostly ever felt this or experienced this. I don’t clamor for an all male class, quite the contrast, I like the fact that in general yoga is about your space, your practice and it’s not a contest to see who can hold Chataranga the longest or get deepest into the pose. There’s no winner, end game or final pose, always moving into the pose etc.

There’s supposed to be no ego and I like this in response to the free weight area for instance.

sure there are attractive women in the class but I’m not there to gawk, stare, pick anybody up and certainly not make anyone feel uncomfortable. In fact sometimes I feel as the only guy I have to be quieter and with my head down concentrating to prove that I’m serious and not just there for trivial reasons. Of course after taking classes for like 5 months you’d think that I’ve proved that!

Like I say, it’s not a big deal but I’d like to hear others perspectives (including women) about this. I feel sometimes that yoga is a womans world but the truth is yoga is for everyone, from 5 to 95, skinny and overweight and it need not be some arm balancing ashtanga pose to get all the benefits.[/QUOTE]

I would try and find a different instructor.

I attend a class where I am the only man and everyone is very supportive. It sounds like you wont be able to fully enjoy your class with this instructor.

#14

[QUOTE=Chitta Control;51868]I attend a “power”/most advanced for the location, yoga class at a YMCA (I’m pretty new to yoga and just starting out plus I had a membership there already) that is always all female with a female instructor. I’ve noticed that the instuctor seems to neglect observing me during class and right after class even during the namaste salutation for instance. I’ve taken many, many classes at this time and location so I really do think it’s a pattern.

the classes here are where the teacher leads the group in the poses, no adjustments are given by a teacher who walks around which sounds like it differs from many others experiences. There are a few traditional yoga studios or spas that have yoga and my plan is to gradually try those out to see a contrast and perhaps be able to practise yoga more seriously.

it’s not a really big deal and I don’t want to sound petty I was just wondering if other (men) mostly ever felt this or experienced this. I don’t clamor for an all male class, quite the contrast, I like the fact that in general yoga is about your space, your practice and it’s not a contest to see who can hold Chataranga the longest or get deepest into the pose. There’s no winner, end game or final pose, always moving into the pose etc.

There’s supposed to be no ego and I like this in response to the free weight area for instance.

sure there are attractive women in the class but I’m not there to gawk, stare, pick anybody up and certainly not make anyone feel uncomfortable. In fact sometimes I feel as the only guy I have to be quieter and with my head down concentrating to prove that I’m serious and not just there for trivial reasons. Of course after taking classes for like 5 months you’d think that I’ve proved that!

Like I say, it’s not a big deal but I’d like to hear others perspectives (including women) about this. I feel sometimes that yoga is a womans world but the truth is yoga is for everyone, from 5 to 95, skinny and overweight and it need not be some arm balancing ashtanga pose to get all the benefits.[/QUOTE]

You’re not being treated like everyone one else because you are not like everyone else if you are the only male in the group.

#15

perhaps you are simply asking the wrong questions. I find myself doing that a lot lately. LOL

I’ve only been to a few classes and have been the only man in all of them. I’m there to learn as much as I can in my limited time.

#16

Are you sure you’re not reading more into this?

Recently I attended a zumba fitness event and as I was milling around in the back while they cued up the music a random women approached me, the only male, and asked if I was ‘attending’ the class. (stress on the word attending)
I blanched, and my blood pressure climbed as did the pitch of my thoughts: Surely this was co-ed? It is a co-ed gym! Was she offended by a male attending? Were they all? They have female exclusive gyms all over the city!
3 part breath, belly, diaphragm, chest. Exhale.
I suppressed the reactiveness and forced a smile and said yes. And she actually applauded, and then welcomed me with a handshake.
Exclusion and inclusion in yoga, and group fitness, much as in life, ebbs and flows. For the now represent, for we are ambassadors for those who follow.

#17

The classes I used to take at my old gym were mostly women as well and I was actually the only “regular” male member of class and I felt like I got as much or more attention from the instructor(s) than the rest of the class. Granted, I am handicapped, so that was probably the reason why.

#18

I love it when there is a man in class, even if it’s my OWN man. :stuck_out_tongue: (snicker) More men, more men! :slight_smile: And it’s not that I want to look at them, hahaha… it’s just nice to see a man who is willing to let down some “masculine guard” and participate in a class that is usually female-dominated. (And really, what is so “female” about yoga, other than those trashy porn-yoga shows on tv?)

Anyhow, all kidding aside, do you think that perhaps it’s a self-conscience observation? I mean, for instance, I’m a rare woman in a male-dominated job; computer networking. I also teach motorcycle classes for a university during the summer. While I have been into computers for a long time, I think it’s my “aire of confidence” that keeps me grounded and unintimidated. When I was going through the motorcycle instructor training, I was highly concerned about how male students would receive me. And you know what… after 4 years of teaching, I haven’t had one problem. I’m just a chick teaching a guy how to ride a motorcycle.

You’re just a guy doing yoga.

Find another class - I prefer small classes in a non-gymnasium environment. (BTW, your profile says “Midwest” - where in the Midwest?)

Michelle

#19

[QUOTE=Chitta Control;51868]
I’ve noticed that the instuctor seems to neglect observing me during class and right after class even during the namaste salutation for instance. I’ve taken many, many classes at this time and location so I really do think it’s a pattern.
[/QUOTE]

Hi, my suggestion would be to approach the teacher after class and ask her for some feedback on your practise. If she then seems disengaged or uninterested then she really might be neglecting you or shutting you out. Or maybe you will find that she is interested and friendly and able to give you good advice.
People are sometimes not good at handling differences. Is her attitude affecting your practise ?
One thing I like about my Yoga studio is the fact that there are both genders and all ages and body shapes represented there.

#20

I?ve been told that I have a higher percentage male in my class then the norm, 20-25%. It?s increase from say 5-10% over the last 10 years. It could be because the instructor is male, but for the last 2 years I?ve been getting the same response when I ask; Why the interest in yoga? Answer; I started doing it on P90X and liked it, smirk!