Mrs Right

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#1

Hi Everyone,

My Name is Christian.  I started Yoga day before  yesterday.  I am very much in Love with this woman, a former Yoga instructor. Yoga is a very spiritual thing for her. It is very much a part of who she is. Watching her doing yoga is a beautiful thing, like watching a flower bloom. I know for sure it is what she was born to do.  Three years ago she was involved in a life changing accident. Her skull was fractured as well as her C1 and C2 vertebra. A normally fatal injury. She has made a miraculous recovery but is no longer able to teach yoga mostly due to the loss of large portions of her memory. She is physically able to do yoga but cant remember any of the part of her life during which she received her training and certification.   Obviously her confidence has been shattered but I can see that the only way for her to recover from this emotionally is to be involved and teach again. It means starting over from the beginning. Maybe she can never be at the level she was before and that is fine but I cant stand watching her die inside after surviving and making a nearly full physical recovery.  I want to help her. She is teaching me yoga for now and thats a start.  I am begging for any suggestions. PLEASE help me help her get her shine back.  Good books, gift ideas anything that might help inspire her and help her believe in herself. I hope I have not come across as pushing her into this. She  talks about teaching Yoga as being the best time of her life.
#2

utlio - This is a very challenging situation and I am unbelievably happy to see that she has made such an excellent recovery. She is lucky to have someone like you who is caring so much about this.

Tell me, did she have any particular teachers that she worked with before the accident? A mentor or a guru? If not, perhaps it would help her to find someone in this field who is highly experienced in teaching people with issues like this. If she finds someone who is capable, they can probably give her some practices first to help her regain her confidence in herself and lower her stress. It is also possible that they could help to re-explain yogic concepts to her in a different way that will make it possible for her to retain and utilize the information. This might be asking a lot of an average teacher, but there may be some yoga therapists near you who can provide this type of service. Where do you live, by the way?

If she has a rehab counselor / neurologist, ask if they have any insight or book recommendations on ways that brain injury patients can relearn knowledge/processes that were lost. There are many different methodologies available which can be helpful, but they are all dependent on an individual situation so I can’t say how much you will find them useful. I am sure that you are both aware already of the many adaptations she has made to be able to process everything in the way she can now, and so if you do decide to seek help from someone who can help re-teach her, make sure that you tell them how she has best re-learned any of the other things which she has forgotten, or the new ways in which she has learned to cope with obstacles and difficulties since the accident. This information is always very valuable.

I am very close to some people with traumatic brain injuries and so I hope this might help you even in a small way. Welcome to the forum!

#3

Hello Christian, you are a wonderful person in your expression of love and care for your partner. She has made this miraculous recovery, a huge step, which shows her as courageous. I feel she wont leave it there and time and you will play an important role in this.

Just her assistance to help you in Yoga is the start. Dont worry, her shine will come back
but after such a traumatic experience it has to take time.

I wish I could add more, others will, there are many experienced people here, caring practical and insightful.

I will remember to include you both in my prayers xxxx

#4

Ultio1,

What a beautiful love story. You both must be very special indeed.

One question I have for you…how long has it been since her accident? If it has only been a short time, perhaps down the road she will regain some memory. Does she remember the two of you and your love?

For now, tell her stories of your love. How she is just as beautiful today as she was when you met. Remind her every single day of her light, her beauty, your love for her. Come from a place deep in you heart and show her your desire to learn and understand Yoga. Tell her how you appreciate the beauty in the poses. The beauty in the stillness. But understand she must reclaim this herself. You can support her through this and love her with all your heart. But she must do this. Think of this as a new beginning for you and for her. Maybe this was meant to happen for a reason. (Karma?) You were meant to help her re-discover yoga. And in this rediscovery, her light will be brighter.

The beauty and light that was so vibrant within her will be there again with you by her side. Just give it time. Give her time. Give yourself time.

Take care. I hope this in some small was helpful to you. Blessings.

#5

My advice is to remember that this is a new part of her life. Becoming what she used to be, may not necessarily be a realistic expectation. Accidents like this can change people permanently. Approaching life with a ‘fresh’ approach, I think, can be the health path to take. If she is doing and enjoying yoga now, that’s fantastic. I wouldn’t try to complicate things by imposing dreams of full recovery. Often these dreams can become a cause of frustration, and it can actually serve to sour her attitude towards yoga. Just keep things simple, enjoy your life and count your blessings. Find new things to enjoy, like going for a drive to a lake and have a picnic, or get some popcorn and enjoying a funny movie. Enjoy the yoga. Let it serve to better your lives. When your expectations are low, it’s a lot easier to appreciate life, and keeping things simple, adds an extra bit of sweetness you may otherwise miss.

#6

Asanas, is a very small part of Yoga; just an invitation to this life-science. You guys are already past that. Yoga is ‘union’. Your devotion to each other is Yoga itself. Union of souls is just a step away from soul-realization.

But please don’t feel compelled to go back to where your partner was three years back. YogiAdam is absolutely right. If you haven’t already, get a good book on Yoga-Sutra (I recommend one by Chip Hartranft) to unfold before you a complete Yoga map. You will see how vast is the inner space and chart your own path.

Yoga is also about change, transformation. Ordinarily, Yoga becomes a challenge because we have so much unlearning to do, and we cling to the physical self so badly. With such a close brush with death, one may not know what your partner has gone through and has already learnt. Now her instincts may be highly intuitive, and insight incisive. She may re-embrace Yoga in an amazingly different way than most of us. Please see if you can instill in her mind a need and importance of doing this.

Her journey on the Yoga path will be unique, extremely educating. Loss of memory may turn out to be a blessing for her. There is no need to force her back into the confines of physical Yoga if she feels naturally endowed now to relate with subtle things. Together you can explore breathing and meditation. You already experience so much love and caring for each other; right there you can begin Yoga by continuing to share the inner spaces. You would remain in my prayers.

#7

Wise words. (And sage advice & guidance of course)

If her yoga practice is stuck i would encourage her to look at the likes of pranayam & meditation and the subtler aspects and indeeed the vastness of yoga as therin might lie the keys to a full recovery.

Welcome to yoga,Christain.Although i think you’re already acquainted.It is a deep & rich science and there’s more than just the physical diimension to work with although really it’s all connected at the end of the day.

You’re doing the right thing which is being as supportive as you can.

Remember that the only path is the one you’re on.Navigating can be challenging but then a crisis can also prove to be a short-cut in disguise.Though there are no short-cuts really but there are fast tracks.

#8

“Fire of Love: for students of life for teachers of yoga” by Aadil Palkhivala.

#9

Thank you everyone! It has been three years now since the accident and Sabrina will for sure never be where she was before but she is completely ambulatory and doing Yoga like it never happened now. I am not pushing at all but it is obvious that she misses teaching. I believe 100 % that she could easily teach kids again, she just needs a taste of success to jump start her confidence. On the other hand I want to make sure that she is ready. Physical injuries are not the only ones suffered. I have talked to her about getting re acquainted with the Woman she learned from and she was excited by the idea. (Thanks suryadaya) Thank you all again for your kind words and prayers.