Hello everyone, I’m new here. I am writing this as a psuedo introductory post and because, well, what I am about to describe has shattered my perception of reality MORE than any psychedelic experience I’ve had … it is the most important thing that’s ever happened in my life … and I feel that it has set me on a path. A path that I would like to begin exploring, seriously. It has been some time (2-3 years) since the ravages of societal life have sucked me back in, since the event, but never has it left my mind, and it still resonates strongly within. I thank you in advance for your patience and considering my words.
Begin:
It seems like the most significant events in your life happen at the most unexpected times and in places where you would never think they would be likely to occur.
To add a bit of background contrast to my story, two years ago I took a trip (I should say journey, really…) to South East Asia and traveled, overland for 8 months through the beautiful countries of Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos, Thailand, and Malaysia. I went far and wide and of course reached nothing of the spiritual enlightenment I thought I would in lands filled with ancient cities, giant Buddhas, gold & jade temples, monks in saffron robes and wise and serene elephants. I had the entire gamut of experiences possible - I nearly died a couple of times, I met beautiful and exotic women, I pushed my body and mind training in martial arts, I ate a cobra’s still beating heart and I witnessed the beauty and perseverance of the earth and its people even in lands & souls we had desecrated and scorched with napalm just a few short decades ago.
Even with this treasured time/education/experience of my life the spontaneous enlightenment and spiritual evolution I secretly expected to encounter remained as elusive as ever. I craved … I yearned… something; at its basest, perhaps some “proof” of spiritual energy and/or of the divine. I knew I would never find “it” in the godless city of New York … so it made sense to me that I might find “it” in the far East. Still, it wouldn’t manifest.
I denounced religion at the ripe age of seven years old. I grew up in an ethnic Yugoslavian Muslim setting and remember to this day being at a relatives house and proclaiming to an older relative that “There is no God! We came from monkeys!” and he in turn chastising me by spanking me on my young behind. My household was ethnically Muslim but in all practicality, agnostic. At that age my favorite show was “Beyond 2000” and “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.”
I remained a passionate atheist throughout my rebellious adolescent/teenage years and when I discovered the term agnosticism I settled. It made sense. I recall the befuddled expressions in my 10th grade Italian class when I was the only one to proudly answer “Agnostic!” as my ‘religion’ of choice…
Not too long ago, in my lower 20s, I was working as a driver for a millionaire and just taking it day by day. Living, eating, drinking, going to school about sums it up.
One pleasant summer night, I had gone out with a few friends for some drinks. Not my usual crew of dipsomaniacs but a few friends I was still getting to know. They were generally calmer and less reckless than my usual drinking buddies.
There was about 5-6 of us and we were doing what a few million lost souls do every Friday/Saturday night in the city with more bars per square foot than anywhere in the world. It’s cold and miserable here in the winter and when its not it’s humid and sticky; NYC has a certain paradoxical quality - it can make one feel alone and bewildered in the crowds, disconnected from nature, disconnected from self. Libation seems to be the answer for many.
We were doing the barhopping thing and had had a few drinks… just warming up. Now, I’m of eastern European descent and I’m not a small dude, 6’3 and anywhere from 185-200 lbs. I also happen to have a pretty good alcohol tolerance, with plenty of early training from the ages of 14-20. 21 came, I hit the ground chugging.
Luckily by the age of this story (24ish) I had a few years in and calmed down. There’s a moral to this story, bear with me!
Back to the streets of the Lower East Side in Manhattan. We had a few drinks at the first bar, nothing crazy … warm up buzz achieved… and left to move on to another spot.
We had just arrived and were all hanging out outside of the bar, shooting the sh*t. Our physical layout was thus: 4-5 of us congregated near the door and I was a few meters off to the side talking to this other kid.
As I exhaled tobacco smoke and dropped my cigarette to stomp it out, I noticed an interesting figure approaching from down the block. Now, New Yorkers are notorious for being completely apathetic to most occurrences that would end up on the front page of the SLC times. But this guy caught my attention.
The figure walking up the block looked to be in his late 20s or early 30s, about 6 feet tall and pretty lanky with a long beard and long hair. Typical Jesus/Hippie looking dude. Around his neck was a posterboard sign… I do not exactly remember the contents of it, but it was something concerning spiritual salvation. Spiritual - not Christian, Catholic, Judaic, etc… that much I know for sure.
Without thinking, as he walked past me I decided I should get his attention, apparently I had something to ask him. (It is rare that I will approach randomers on the street)
“Hey dude!” He stopped and turned around.
With a smirk, I inquired: “Know where I could get some LSD?”
He smiled back, warmly. “You don’t need that.”
“I know, I know. I get it, YOU don’t need that. But I do. You look like the type of person who would know where to get some!”
He kept smiling. “You don’t need that.”
This gentle back and forth banter went on in similar fashion for a few moments until he approached me.
This is the point in the story where it becomes very difficult for me to explain myself fully. I will try to re-describe the scene as accurately (chronologically and mentally) as possible.
He approached me, standing a few feet away, paused and looked right at me. He said nothing further but instead opened his mouth slightly, and began to produce a very high pitched tone.
“EEEEEEEEEEEEEE”
…
This is where I am almost at a loss for words.
SNAP. My mind blanked, caved in on itself. You know those old TV sets that go from a static channel and in a moment condense into a fading white line when you hit the power button? Well, someone hit the power button to my mind.
I really can’t recall how long I was in this state, or what I looked like physically while it was happening or even what I “saw” during. I cannot even say that I was there, in the void, the ego is removed, floating in nothingness…
SNAP. I’m back…I’m aware, my vision is kind of fuzzy but I have returned and he’s standing right in front of me, and in my peripheral vision I’m aware of my friend, a few feet further behind from me.
“Whoa…” I hear my friend exclaim softly.
A few seconds pass …
“EEEEEEEEEEEEEE” he does it again.
SNAP. Back to the void, to nothingness? It is extremely frustrating and difficult to convey into words… this part of the experience…
“EEEeeee…” the sound fades away.
SNAP. I’m back. My eyes feel watery, my vision is extremely blurred. Also, I’m high as a kite. HIGH!!
I notice that for a few moments when he finishes producing ‘the sound’… when he “comes back” … his eyes roll back into his head several times and his eyelids flutter. I cannot help but thinking that it gets him “high” too.
So … in this … newfound high state… I guess I am just sort of dumbfounded, I stand there like a reed in the breeze.
He decides to share one more story with me before he departs. Just prior to running in with me he had encountered a man who had approached him and started accosting him, verbally attacking him, ridiculing him, etc.
"He must have been high on on cocaine or something, because he had a very violently neurotic energy and his eyes were glassy…"
He explained how as Mr. Cokehead continued to harass and belittle him, he stood there, saying not a word, and used a technique that he called “mirroring” to direct all of his negative energy back at him.
“After a while, the guy broke down, started crying and apologizing. He was a mess.”
With those words, he left. I put my hands to my forehead and bow-wai’d. He responds to my gesture with a knowing smile.
At the time, I felt no need for an explanation. I was high… perplexed as I may be today about the experience, at the time, I innately “understood” that he had somehow manipulated a vibrational energy field projecting it with the tone of his voice and it had clearly affected me greatly. This… peace and content with a profoundly moving and strange experience is a very peculiar thing to have happen to you.
To this day, I could totally see myself being an immature a$$ (initially) if someone told me this story:
“LOLZ, this guy would be a hit at parties!” or
"LOL, you were just wasted" or
"WTF, you didn’t ask him how he did it or what THAT was?" or
"WTF, why didn’t you get his name/number/punch him in the face…"
or something to that effect. All I can say is at the time, I was high … but calm, and injected with a sense of understanding.
At that point, my night was done. DONE.
I went up to my friends and quickly, awkwardly said goodbye (I was high as hell).
No way in hell that I could continue drinking. In fact, it seemed absolutely ridiculous in light of what had just occurred. This guy just shattered my perception of reality, he just GOT ME HIGH on the street with nothing but his voice… this was not something my usually scientific and skeptical mind would EVER think was possible.
I walked to my car… in a haze, dazed, lost in my thoughts…out of the periphery there were voices. People. Socializing … it’s what people do… they earn their paper money and go out and spend it and imbibe to loosen up and forget… Beeping of horns. Cars… mechanical constructs. Laughter, shouting. Human emotion… empathy …
Everything around me was broken down, everything seemed so INSIGNIFICANT … drinking, social structures, money, jobs… it was all so… ridiculously unimportant and artificial! It was so insignificant … it just dwarfed on me…overwhelming me … and to my surprise, I felt the hot lash of tears streaming down my face as I continued to walk on…
I cried the whole way, and when I reached my car, I collapsed within the drivers seat and began sobbing. I don’t know WHY I was crying… it wasn’t sadness, it wasn’t joy, it wasn’t anger, it wasn’t fear, it wasn’t regret. It’s as if I cannot find the words to describe the emotion/experience that caused these tears to flow voluminously. I don’t cry often at all.
Someone knocked on my window. I rolled it down.
The outside world was a colorful water painting.
“Dude, do you have a cigarette… oh, sh*t. You’re crying. Are you all right dude?”
I managed to motion the person away while rolling up my window and nodding that I was ok. I could do no more.
I sat in my car for quite some time, until the tears subsided. I felt utterly exhausted, questioned if I could drive home in this state. I managed. The drive was serene and my mind was exceptionally clear on the way home.
I remember the utter, complete exhaustion as I collapsed into my bed and instantly fell asleep.
Heh. The funny thing about these experiences … you have to go to work the next day. I did.
As I sat in my boss’ $150,000 BMW, I felt a sense of peace and calm like I had never felt before. Even in the concrete jungle, I made an effort to park in front of some shrubs and a patch of grass, just to have something green and alive in front of me to stare at while I waited. As I sat, I meditated, without trying. I felt happy… content … whole…
…to this day, I cannot explain what happened to me …
- Was this a siddhi?
- Can anyone describe the technique?
- How about “mirroring?”
- What ‘school’ does this technique fall under?
- Any other advice/insights … guidance … would be greatly appreciated.
:o
P.S. I could not help but be reminded of Ram Dass’ book Be Here Now. Apparently his Guru gets him higher than he ever got off LSD (and he got very high in his life…) with three taps to his forehead. His guru was also impervious/unaffected by very high LSD doses which he had given him.
I posted this on another forum and got a bunch of replies, mostly “whoa” etc. but it reverberated with one knowledgeable individual whose comments I will post with their permission, shortly. Thank you again for taking the time to read this.