Hello @anuraagnandagiri, Sorry to hear about your situation. You are not the only victim of Inner Engineering program. There are many. This is a pure mind wash program. In this program Sadhguru will talk about so many logical things when your mind will start being convinced by his logics then he will plant some illogical thoughts in your mind which your mind is not aware of and you will start believing in them.
I’ll suggest stop doing Shambhavi mahamudra. Give enough rest to your body and eat good vegetarian food. You can do simple meditation by following these steps:
- Sit straight and comfortably without having any intention of achieve anything.
- Focus on your breath.
- Try to be in present moment as much as you can.
- Use your 5 senses. Listen the sound around you. Feel the sensation on your skin. Feel taste in your mouth. Feel the smell around you. You can keep your eyes open if you want to.
- If your mind wanders gently bring it back in present moment without judging yourself because of thinking of something or loosing your focus.
- Don’t try to achieve any mental state which you think you should be in.
- Accept yourself as you are and generate feeling of love and compassion towards yourself.
- Do not meditate for too long because sometimes meditating for too long create pressure on mind and nervous system.
Shambhavi mahamudra may be powerful and may work for many people but thats not necessary that it will work for you. Respect your body and accept it. Your body knows how to heal itself.
- Practice gratitude. Gratitude is most important to overcome such negativity.
- Take time everyday when you can think about all the good and blessings you have in your life.
- Try to think of time when you were in peace with the world and you were at your best.
- Deliberately try to remember at least 5 moments in your life when you achieved something. Try to generate that feeling of winning and stay with it. Slowly you will start overcoming from these negativity.