Thank you, Gordon. I didn’t want to be too long-winded. And I apologize greatly right now for my long-windedness that follows, as I’m sure some of the things I’m about to tell you are not so related to the physical problem I am having today. This turned into a mini-autobiography. I also apologize for my utter lack of education regarding yoga as I am very new to it.
I’m 37, I take no medications. My only health issues are musculo-skeletal ones. I have a herniated disc in my cervical spine and degenerative disc disease (which I think is just a fancy term for getting old.) I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia in my early 20’s as a result of a bad car accident, but I haven’t had a flare in a few years and I think I’ve gotten to a point spiritually where I will not have another.
I’ve been a lacto-ovo vegetarian for a year, at which time I eliminated soda and artificial sweeteners. More recently, within the last month, I have eliminated chocolate and junk food, which seemed to make my usual unbearable PMS symptoms (hungry 24-7, very yin, can’t sit still) practically non-existent this month. My plan is to never eat any of it again.
Sigh I am about 20 to 30 pounds overweight and I don’t think I’ve broken a good sweat in about two years. I did lose 5 pounds so far, though, since practicing more moderation this month and beginning a yoga practice five days ago and I’m confident my body is on it’s way to finding balance.
By unstructured intuitive yoga, I mean…hmmm. A little more background, I guess. About 7 years ago, I got involved with Reiki and energy work. I’m intuitive, empathic and can feel energy blocks within others. I help others to release blockages by relaying the messages of the spirit to them that they aren’t hearing on their own. In a tiny, tiny nutshell, the “remedies” for blockage release usually include my performing chakra balancing through tapping them and other methods, good old-fashioned psych therapy, and also teaching the person breath work and yoga postures.
But, other than psych therapy, I learned none of these in books or from living teachers. (And this is the part where people begin to question my sanity.) I’m only an observer during these healing sessions. The one who has taught me all of this and continues to teach me is a spirit guide.
I came to channel these things from spirit after my first Reiki initiation. During meditation, I began experiencing what I think is commonly referred to as “induced chi flow”. My body would move into certain positions without my prompting. I was completely unaware of yoga postures, had never done yoga, and at the time had only thought of it as some kind of new age exercise craze. But after these movements began happening, then I would also begin deep breath work spontaneously and then I also began doing what I later learned is qigong tapping on my chakras and energy meridians. And then there she was, in my mind’s eye, in lotus position, sitting and laughing and singing and at times, she laughs and sings through me as well. A little Hindu lady who is just LOVE. She’s adorable. You’d love her. Everyone who meets her does!
She has taught me all of this and so so so much more. She is very good at teaching me through “doing”, but the verbal cues and labels are not very present, though I became more familiar with Hindu practices at her prompting for me to research the Golden Goddess. I have also, obviously, come to know that yoga is practically written into our DNA and is a deeply spiritual practice and not a new age craze.
I have never fully known or understood the things which I do. Such as knowing that the backbend I’m doing actually has a yogic name. I only know I need to do the backbend. I also don’t always know why a certain pose needs to be done. Is it opening my sacral chakra? Is it grounding me? Most times I can intuit it’s purpose, but not always. I am eager to learn all of this.
All the labels, and filling in all the blanks, is my responsibility through research, practice, and discipline. As I have researched and continued along my path, I came to know that I was doing yoga poses, such as cow face pose, goddess pose, headstands, happy baby pose, and many, many others. I’m sorry, I do not yet know the original names for these poses. And that is why I am eager to begin a structured yoga practice, though I am unfamiliar with where I should begin. I spent an hour typing this dissertation on my path because my intuition tells me I will learn something valuable from you and others in the process of sharing.
It’s my belief that everyone’s body already knows yoga. It is just a matter of quieting the mind and connecting to spirit and letting spirit do the work. It is how I learned what I have so far. But, I lack discipline and am currently working on that facet of my spiritual growth. The meditations have always been sporadic, a little chaotic, and very unstructured. Only recently have I felt compelled to become more disciplined.
As you can see, I tend to follow my intuition as much as possible. So along that vein one day about two weeks ago while checking out new movie releases on Amazon, I saw a Shiva Rea Solar Flow DVD and spirit told me to get it so I did. I was familiar with most of the poses having already done them, but I never did them so repetitively and there were some new poses I was unfamiliar with. I felt very filled with energy, so happy, and also unable to sleep. So, I’m guessing the “solar” aspect needs to be balanced out with some kind of “lunar” aspect so that I remain better grounded. That is the “vinyasa” I was referring to.
And here I am today with unexpected killer cramps and heavy flow. The end. 
Other than that, I am a very “normal” person…lol…who enjoys camping, socializing, watching baseball, playing softball, and I haven’t given up alcohol yet. I have two daughters and most of my life revolves around them and their school activities. Most of my acquaintances and friends don’t know the things about me I just divulged here. I feel like a chameleon most of the time, divulging that side of me to those who can connect and finding other commonalities with those who are not ready to connect.
If you’ve gotten this far without writing me off as a whackjob…THANK YOU.
If you, or anyone else, have ANY suggestions from your own spirit for me regarding anything at all, I am open to hear you.
