I’ve never been on a forum before and I just started yoga about a week ago. I started it in order to help relieve stress and the pain in my back. Most of my life I’ve always had things to take care of and there is always work to be do. I get stressed out with all there is to do and I’ve done a lot of things I wouldn’t have if I had better control over my stresses. My wife and I are planning to have a child in the next year or so and I don’t want to teach it my bad habits of bottling things inside. Will yoga help me with my problems of trying to find a stress reliever and stop the pain in my back? I’d like to have a focused mind during stressful times so my true self can do the acting and not have my mind clouded by anger. Has anyone else been through something like that?
Hi Shadowsai,
warmly welcome to the forum :-)! I wonder if the things you have to do are also the things you want to do?
Welcome.
You are fortunate to be 22 and have youth on your side. Hopefully many years of commitment to your growth and that of your relationship with your spouse and of the child you hope to mentor into this world.
Yes there are some things within yoga that may help you with the stress you mention. I’d suggest a robust practice including alignment-based asana (poses), a meditation that does not cultivate life force in the vital (pelvic) or mental (mind) realms, and some guidance on lifestyle and nutrition. Additionally the practice should provide you a framework for a simple home practice so that you can manage your living when you are not in class.
It is very mindful of you to be concerned with what you’ll teach a child yet to be conceived. Continuing to ask that question of yourself (what am I teaching her/him) will go a long way to insuring that you impart sound skills for living and thus a well adjusted infant, toddler, adolescent, and adult. Bear in mind “it takes a village” and you are not the only one doing the teaching. We are all responsible - your wife, teachers, grandparents, neighbors, et al. Additionally, you are also doing the learning. Some souls come into this world to instruct. So you may in fact learn your expressing through your child.
The body is the diary of the life. We write to it those things which we have not fully emotionally processed. You can approach the back pain pragmatically and do physical things. That will certainly help and should not be overlooked. But also know that it is your thoughts and feelings which are contributing. I gather from your text you already know this and that’s why you’re posting in the first place.
Even yoga practitioners experience stress and are not always mindful when the heat is on. However some of us do have a knack for simplifying our lives and reducing the number of demands placed upon our systems in the first place. Taking in certain foods, avoiding others, and sterring clear of things that disrupt the nervous system (electronic devices, violent movies, excessive television, microwaves, toxic chemicals) can really help.
InnerAthlete
Thanks for you words of wisdom.
Children are growing into the world, great spiritual powers work on them while they learn to walk, speak, and finally achieve an ego consciousness beginning at the age of three. In this time, the mentioned powers also work in building a brain what will make possible the unique karma of the child to enfold. So while inheritance rules the physical bodies features, not all is based on inheritance or environmental factors (parents aso) but also on spiritual factors. The child is coming to have a life expereince and accomplish spiritual goals what might never become conscious throughout all our lives, yet they are the forces shaping up our destiny. We, as parents, are part of that destiny but it is a soothing thought to know, that we are not all responsible for our childrens wellfare, that they have their own purpose, and exactly when they seem the most vulnerable and helpless, than is the time when the strongest spiritual forces act on them, form them, make them what they need to be.
As an advice, I’d try to know myself better, as we teach by who we are, and not whom we would like to be. Integrity means that we know and accept our shortcomings, and do not pretend to be better, because we will fail, kids having a great emotional-intellectual radar. Surely striving to become better is a good thing, just we too often make the mistake of trying to hide our dark side form our children. Because they are our children, we cannot expect them to be much more perfect and good than we are (there are exepctions, but until we are sure of that, it’s better to not assume too much) … and pretending we are better, we are having too great expectations on them, enburdening them, instead of showing how we are dealing with those specific problems. Self-knowledge (and I mean the ordinary, too-big yet still little self here) never hurts. Or, rather, it usually hurts, but it worths it.