Non-violence and self defense

Spirituality
#21

Hi there,
Rather than addressing all parents fear of the possibility of harm to their children what strikes me here is what we aspire to -the ideal - and where we (as individuals) realistically are.

You suggest your children are young and so are probably not developmentally able to understand the concept that there isn’t anything to harm. While this may be the ultimate truth and is something to aspire to we live in a conventional world and encounter our own and others egos second by second. As we engage the world - in relationships - we are called to practise: skill-in-action or what is appropriate for a given situation and we begin where we are.
While also learning the art of conscious communication I wonder if a practice such as Tai Chi or another ‘deflective’ practice might be useful for them (it could even be something you do as a family?)
Perhaps in this conventional world in which we live to defend oneself is not a bad thing and that it is (the art of) the response that counts (?)
I’m thinking that for children to learn the art of deflection - of re-directing another’s harmful force also teaches the art of responsibility for one’s own actions. They can not help but have a very clear picture of harming and non-harming actions which they can carry into all aspects of thier lives.
???

#22

[B]Teach them about karma and have them watch [I]My Name is Earl[/I]. Karma says that they can only be attacked as a result of doing it first at any time in the last 5 million years. I read an article by a guy who fights in martial arts contests. He says that people cannot understand that he does martial arts because it makes him feel good. You kids can learn martial arts since it will make them happier and increase self-esteem.[/B]

#23

[QUOTE=ginkgo;17208][B]Teach them about karma and have them watch [I]My Name is Earl[/I]. Karma says that they can only be attacked as a result of doing it first at any time in the last 5 million years. I read an article by a guy who fights in martial arts contests. He says that people cannot understand that he does martial arts because it makes him feel good. You kids can learn martial arts since it will make them happier and increase self-esteem.[/B][/QUOTE]

And Yogananda says “Self-Realization.” It is the same idea, very deep.

#24

It sounds like it could be a potentially very tricky moral issue; i appreciate the horns of this dilemma

You possibly admmire the virtuous qualities that MA could inculcate,self-reliance,strength for e.g, but you don’t wish to promote violence either ,and therefore create confusion in their minds.

I would suggest you choose a teacher and style wisely, one that teaches self-restraint and peace, morality ,maybe even a little meditation, and not aggression and figthing for it’s own sake.

I’m thinking aikdio, kung-fu ( which i’ve heard claimed may have orginated out of yoga, when hindu-buddhist monks came over to China from India).A warriior class emerged to defend farmers and property from bandits and mauraders, who used force and dishoensty to get what they wanted.They would be empoyed by the village or town or king,cheif as a kind of insurance policy,but unlike the bandits they fought aginst they did have code of honour & respect and v high moral & (spiritual)standards.They felt a sens of duty to defend the weak and abused;ther wer’nt fighting just fro profit or greed…The peasants developed their own home stylles using pitckforks,sticks or whatever was at hand.

It might be hard to find an authentic teacher and style.maybe avoid the “fight club” style places.

Kids always like to move around, and keeping them occcupied with worthwhile ‘things to do’ is part of the parenntal challenge.They seem to get bored easily, or distracted.

Obviouslyas a parent show and lead by example. Hopefully the martial arts teacher if of the right pedigree can do this too.But you may have to immerse them in it to show them MA should’nt just be about fighting

It is a tricky one and like many things in life there are no easy or correct absolute answers.

Choose a teacher and style carefully.Akido has to better beter than say ‘Medal of Honour’, i.e computer games.If they get into fights at school or whatever your could then simply reconsider stopping and then bringing back playstation3 or whatever again.

I think it’s a great idea and i do understand what you say though i would just view it as dance or piano lessons or whatever, teaching discipline and courage, action and responsilbility, thoughtfulness, self-control,awareness etc.So if wee Timmy hit them in the pplayground ,they must not get him back and stamp on his head in retaliation, as children, and adults , so love doing

Train their hearts,mind and bodies and make them courageous and strong inside out.MA should be able to deliver on this ,in the right context and environment.Appropriate cues,guidance and exemplary role-models.

They maybe too young to grasp distinctions, subtle or gross,controled “fighting” uncontrolled etc,purity of mind and body, and moral codes and such;in that case i don’t think it probably matters too much. You just let them play and learn, preferably in a safe & non-threatening enviroment.

I saw that video you mention oak333- the one finger handstand t by the legendary 80 year old teacher was impressive

the kids thatt are taught authentic, increasingly rare, kung-fu styles in china and monasteries live as such like monks , a life of discipline,and with high moral and spiritual ideals.

tai-chi might be alittle sedate for them, but chi kung,kung-fu, aiikido ,or even ju-jitsu, all sound good.