Sometimes I write little to you, and suddenly there is a torrent. I apologize if there is too much coming up right now. This one is of a more personal nature – learning right relationship with feelings. I just wrote some of this to help me reflect upon the feelings I was experiencing, not as specific questions I expect you to have answers for. Your comments about the nature of sadness and how yoga guides us would be appreciated.
What is sadness? It is the one emotion that I find the most difficult. It creeps up and surrounds me sometimes. What is it? Is it a wanting ? a desire? Is it unfinished business, old memories longing for release? Is it to be tolerated ? approached with dispassion ? worked through ? ignored? When it is there, I feel an emptiness, a looking outside of myself, a reaching. Is it fuel for action ? reflecting on that which is desired being the fuel directing the path of action to take? Is it greed? Wanting, wanting something more, something different, never satisfied with what is? What is sadness? Is it the beacon home to God? Like a distant memory of a happier time, a place of peace, of what is possible? Is sadness to be avoided or embraced?
Mukunda Replies: ALL IS TO BE FELT, WHAT IS THE FEELING DESCRIBE IT AS BODILY REACTION?
Who is it that feels sad?
Mukunda Replies: A BETTER QUESTION TO ASK. THAN THE ABOVE.
Physical feelings are associated with sadness ? these are impermanent ? ?I? am not my body. Thoughts are associated with sadness ? these too are not permanent ? ?I? am not my thoughts. These are like a covering upon this Self that sometimes feels this and sometimes feels that. Scriptures say that this Self is unchanging, untouched by these temporary states. ?I? have experienced moments of feeling, which feel timeless, which feel like ?ahah, yes, this is Real.? These moments have not lasted. Scripture teaches that moments of Samadhi are like the release of the covering over the True Self. Have I experienced Samadhi in these moments that feel timeless?
The mind cannot see beyond itself. Faith and Grace are the ingredients here, we are told. The mind believes it is not the Self, and sees the folly of taking its perceptions too seriously.
And still there are feelings, which rise and fall ? some pleasurable and some troublesome. Letting go, the mind is not in control. Letting go, these states are temporary and therefore of little importance. Still we must act, as the body exists, these moments exist. Temporariness is not an excuse for wishing things were disembodied. The Sutras say that for that one who yearns for Spirit, Spirit sits nearby, waiting. What does Spirit wait for?
Mukunda Answers: YOU.
What must the one do or undo to fulfill that yearning?
Mukunda Says: ONLY YEARN MORE.
Teach me of sadness, for I do not understand this thing.
Mukunda’s Response:
JUST BE WITH IT AND ASK WHAT DOES THIS WANTING ENERGY WANT? IN THE BHAGAVAD GITA, THE WANTING ENERGY IS REFERRED TO AS KRISHNA. IT IS NOT A BAD QUALITY. ALLOW IT TO WANT WHAT IT WANTS BUT FOCUS ON THE WANTING NOT THE OBJECT OF WANT. THE WANTING ENERGY IS INFINITE AND BY KNOWING IT FULLY YOU CAN COME TO KNOW YOUR SELF-AS BEYOND FEELINGS AND DESIRE. THAT IS THE QUALITY TO UNCOVER.
