Question regarding situation

Yoga Discussion General Yoga
#1

The past few years have been most transformative. Two years ago john awakened to pure consciousness (the sense of I AM) through transmission from a guru. His instruction was simple and congruent with Nisargadatta’s teaching of holding on the the sense of “I AM” For a little over a year it was a practice of constantly and consciously abiding, personal identity was dissolving at time, to the point where it was a bit scary at times. During this period there were many energetic awakenings. Giving, receiving shaktipat, glowing eyes and other superficial occurances. There was a sense the ‘end game’ was right around the corner. J was firmly rooted in reality. The illusion was so clear. There were times where it was necessary to fight like hell the hold the “I AM”.

The result was a non-dual experience, almost 24/7 for about a year’s time. During this period my relationships and finances really took a hit. Decided that perhaps it was time to focus efforts on the external reality. After all work or meditation, one in the same, non-duality, right?

While pure consciousness still remains, the quality of it has decreased. It’s not as crisp, the sense of identity isn’t as firmly rooted. The energetic phenomena has fade considerably. It’s really making me wonder whether enlightenment can be had by a household.

From various vedantic teachings, nisargadatta, etc… it seems the next step in the path is a shift into the absolute state. At that point ones identity shifts into and is rooted in the unmanifested.

My question is, where to go from here? While the constant and conscious abidance was incredibly effective, it was intense and took a enormous amount of bhakti, bhakti that has faded. This practice isnt very condusive with living a householder lifestyle.

There is still great longing to fully emobody enlightenment, the absolute. It is my understanding that once the absolute is established ther is no more fluctuation, this is no more forgetting, there is no more effort~~~~~~ this the intention!

Might someone offer some advice?

While the transformation was expontential, in many ways it feels like it’s back at square one. There is angst, there is frustration coming up. The teacher that was mentioned early is no longer available for console. Perhaps someone might be able to assist in guiding.

j

#2

abidesthat,

Perhaps “square one” is the “end game?” How could it be otherwise?

peace,
siva

#3

I know what you mean J. And within my experience the place you find yourself is very common, and something I’ve heard lots of people talk about in Satsang. They experience presence coming and going. What I’ve found is that identity begins to form to the natural openess that we are, then even without the experience of losing it, we have lost it, so to speak. Then we start looking again, forgeting about the seer. Who is it that notices both the natural beingness, and notices the identification? Could there be an equanimity between the two? Is there a problem contracting back into identification? Can you bring presence into that as it happens? The teachers I’ve sat with always say that awakening is the start of the whole thing. Now the real fun begins. :slight_smile:

This is a quote from Neelam which I found to be a wonderful pointer…“Being awake is nothing more than the recognition of presence within your experience, anytime, anywhere.”

#4

[QUOTE=elation;43458]I know what you mean J. And within my experience the place you find yourself is very common, and something I’ve heard lots of people talk about in Satsang. They experience presence coming and going. What I’ve found is that identity begins to form to the natural openess that we are, then even without the experience of losing it, we have lost it, so to speak. Then we start looking again, forgeting about the seer. Who is it that notices both the natural beingness, and notices the identification? Could there be an equanimity between the two? Is there a problem contracting back into identification? Can you bring presence into that as it happens? The teachers I’ve sat with always say that awakening is the start of the whole thing. Now the real fun begins. :slight_smile:

This is a quote from Neelam which I found to be a wonderful pointer…“Being awake is nothing more than the recognition of presence within your experience, anytime, anywhere.”[/QUOTE]

Totally agree… awakening is just the beginning.

This whole neo-advaitic movement tends to think that awakening is the end all be all. They are totally missing the point.

They wake up to pure consciousness and they think it’s end game…

One needs to make the shift into the absolute… very few teachers make this distinction… Nisargadatta, Ed Muzika, Anadi are a few of the teachers the talk about the two…

Nisargadatta’s teaching was to constantly and consciously abide in pure consciousness, then a shift will one day happen, the shift of ones identity into the absolute. Nisargadatta coined this prior to consciousness. And yes, to all the neo-advaitains there IS a difference awakening to pure consciousness and awakening to the absolute are two fundamentally and distinct awakenings. The absolute is prior to consciousness…

I believe Ed’s approach is similar.

Anadi talks about the absolute being energetically located at the hara. Once pure consciousness is awakened and one’s identity is stabilized in pure consciousness, the next step is to awaken the absolute and integrate pure consciousness with the absolute… essentially you are rooted in the manifested. Once the absolute is stabilized that is when one is abide in reality, one’s sense of identity is fully in reality unconditionally, consciously, experientially without fluctuation forever… this is the end of all… the end of effort…

Anyways, thats the understanding on this end…

#5

Yes… attainment of a [B]absolute divine reality[/B].

That’s just what i thought when i began formal practice.

And it seems a fair description too. What does it mean ? Yes all those things PBC, dissolution of duality & feelings of separation of self & presence of 24/7 abiding witness (state) or near enough, the kind of knowing that if is not very amenable to articulation. Indeeed attempting to articulate almost spoils it. It does not desire nor need to articulate.It just is.I think i’ve had glimpses, of an enlightened state, where i did’nt need to say anything; truth was manifest already. No seeking required.It was just there and i was internally quiet in the knowing or what “knowledge” i thought i had somehow acquired or got…

The attainment of something valuable, absolute. The absolute?

Like a contiuum of a-ha moments except there still remains a perfect stillness in that awareness.Like a still transparent lake. Like— yes this[I] is[/I] for real,not just wishful fantasy,imaginings, or nice trite philosophical conceptual overlay that we’ve somehow skillfully welded onto our minds in order to inifluence our greater consciousness or intellectually jump-start us into becoming more awake.
No such tricks. For real,Yip.

Like these states actually do exist.They are for real.

#6

My views for your kind consideration.

First of all, bhakti is a very demanding and frustrating route because there are no formal practices. On that route, one gets drawn to the guru because of the early results; but guru remains the change agent and when that is taken away the equation suddenly collapses. The subject of bhakti has to be Ishvara for it to sustain.

What is said to be appropriate for our times, is a path of exercises and practices, the eight-fold path of Yoga Sutra, also called Raja-Yoga.

But today’s inquisitive and scholarly mind runs into another difficulty. So much is written about the spiritual paths that we become as much goal-oriented or objective-driven as in business or career. Instead of concentrating solely on rigorous practice under the guru’s watchful eye, we create anticipation of such and such thing to happen. That brings at times, extremely high-level and complex spiritual destination into ordinary day-to-day context and we start looking for signs of its happening.

This creates an obsession with the results than devotion to practice. Mind plays many tricks to create make-believe experiences. Good news is that real spiritual progress may stall but never regresses. One can always pickup from the last point. In my view, you need to get into learning asana and pranayam asap. Start the purification of internal systems. Your bhakti can be redirected to Ishvara once it is found. Doors will open.

#7

I don’t know how relevant this is going to be…

I was like ‘John’…forever struggling against my inherent Divinity against the pressures of Maya…

In the end, I just ‘gave in’ to illusion…although I still can see it for what it really is.

For me, it seemed that actually living in ignorance and being a huge hypocrite was much easier. :stuck_out_tongue:

Now, all I fight with is my own conscience instead of my friends and family. It’s a ‘trade-off’, of course…but I am still miserable…

So where is this all going you ask?

Eventually, I will have to reach a ‘compromise’…if that means being a ‘closet yogi’ then so be it…nobody knows what goes on in my head (except for ‘Nobody’) lol

Being in the ‘I AM’ awareness state shouldn’t be a forced effort. If it is, then ‘ur doin’ it wrong’ (has spent too much time on the internet) lol
John has to be comfortable in this state. It should be second (no, first) nature to him. The ‘I AM’ awareness has to be spontaneous.

Once that is achieved and he is comfy in his own mind/awareness, others will be too.