Rather embarrassing question: Using Yoga to deal with premature ejaculation

Yoga Discussion General Yoga
#1

I’ve been dealing with the rather embarrassing problem of premature ejaculation ever since I’ve been sexually active. Consequently I’ve pretty much avoided getting into those situations so that I wouldn’t have to deal with the shame of not performing. I recently started dating someone and it looked like there was something serious developing between us. Due to my problem I stalled bringing her home though. After the 7th date though I decided I’d have to give it a try since everything else was going so well. Sadly though with all the stress of thinking about what could happen, after the foreplay ended I lasted only a few seconds. Needless to say that ended the evening prematurely and was the last time I saw her…

After that unfortunate event I finally had the courage to bring it up to a friend and after talking about it we decided that one of the big causes is anxiety. I’ve always been a tense & nervous person, which is accentuated by being in that type of situation where all I can think of is how I’ll perform. Strangely enough when it’s just me there are extremely few control issues with this, which reaffirms the fact that it’s stress/anxiety related. So we decided that trying yoga could be an option for dealing with this.

Thus if I were to register for a class, which type of yoga could help the most for this. I already go to the gym about 5x per week so I don’t really need something that’s cardio intensive but instead something that’s more into relaxation and breathing exercises I believe.

Thank you in advance!

#2

Welcome to the forums!

Have you been to a Doctor to rule out anything physical?

Restorative yoga is wonderful for anxiety and is very gentle. Props are used to fully support you in various poses to allow muscles to release along with tension and stress. Some play music and read affirmations while some use silence. I use both in my class. This may be a good option for you. But be forewarned that some experience an emotional release during class as it is quite conducive to “letting go” of whatever it is we are holding.

#3

Thanks for the welcome :stuck_out_tongue:

Yes nothing is wrong physically. No problem lasting when I’m alone or with alcohol (not that that’s my preferred solution) I know it’s all in my mind since I’m pretty much always tense, except when I’m running or after a massage, so as soon as I get into the heat of the act it’s very easy for me to lose control and with all my muscles tensing up things don’t last too long. Actually pretty much always tense up when someone touches me so it’s overall nervousness in general.

I’ll look into restorative yoga, seems like it may work if I discuss with the teacher what my problem is. I’ve also been reading about the different types and Kundalini seems it may be even more appropriate. Any ideas on if that may work? Also is that something a beginner could go directly into?

#4

There are particular sequences utilized by properly trained Yoga teachers to specifically address certain forms of anxiety. That isn’t imparted in a class setting. That is a customized practice conveyed one-to-one.

#5

[QUOTE=InnerAthlete;67062]There are particular sequences utilized by properly trained Yoga teachers to specifically address certain forms of anxiety. That isn’t imparted in a class setting. That is a customized practice conveyed one-to-one.[/QUOTE]

Interesting. If I were to get a teacher specifically for this what should I look for? Essentially what I believe I need to do is “teach” my muscles to not tense up in stressful situations or when others touch me. My doctor recommended a low dose of benzodiazepine (which from my experience taking it when i got my wisdom teeth removed may work) for this, but I’m looking at the yogic approach to not become dependent on drugs.

#6

I personally cannot, with a clear conscience, advocate pharmaceuticals. However I am also aware that what I choose for my life and path may not be and does not need to be what others choose.

As for the vetting of a teacher for this, if you can find some ways to address your anxiety in your life you can spread such skill to many areas of your living. A good yoga therapist addresses symptoms rather than labels and you need not get into the smaller picture of this. Look for a teacher with more than 500 hours of teacher training in an alignment-based practice with at least ten years of teaching and continuing studies in therapeutic yoga applications.

In addition to this approach it is also possible to manifest a partner who will work with you in life (bigger picture) and for that person the little stories may not seem to be a big deal. That, in and of itself, may be soothing to one’s anxiety.

Obviously relationship (in the yogic context) is about far more than the sense pleasures, cravings and “needs” associated with the root of the spine, vital force, or pelvis. Of course they too serve a purpose but that purpose has been grossly distorted by our choices and subsequently our society.

#7

Hi eternity000,

one of the classical mudras, described in Gheraṇḍa saṃhitā is Shaktichalani Mudra, which is also described in Yogamrita - The essence of yoga, by Pharamadma Dhirananda. But since the book is not yet publish in English, you can maybe look into a book by Sivananda, maybe the commentary of Hatha-Yoga Pradipika and look for the description of this mudra. By practicing it 2 times daily on regular basis, you can cope with this problem in a short time.

I hope this helps.
Best regards

#8

Dear Eternity –
I think you are not alone in this problem. It is probably related to nerves and performance anxiety. It is extremely common for the first few times for problems like this to come up. Women often have the opposite problem - we cannot have orgasms until the pressure lets down a bit.

It is likely that what drove this woman away is not your premature ejaculation, but rather your embarrassment about it. How did you treat her afterwards? If you were ashamed and acted weird that might have been the problem. Did you call her the next day? If you didn’t because you were too embarrassed, she might think you are a jerk. It is really important to women that you call them the next day after sex. Just to say hello, just to check in, just to say thanks for spending time with me and I like you for more than just sex.

While I highly recommend that you do yoga (I recommend it for pretty much everyone!) yoga will not be a quick fix for this. The processes of yoga are lifelong explorations that offer tremendous benefits through sincere dedicated effort. Yes, use yoga to help you relax more and stay calm under pressure. But also enlist the help of your next partner.

Women use sex to achieve emotional connection. Very few of them will reject you because you cannot “perform”. If you are candid about your problem and feed fulfill their emotional needs, they will be thrilled to help you overcome it. If you believe this to be a huge deal, then you make it into one. If you know that it is normal you will be able to talk about it without being weird.

Next time, you can always try the old trick of masturbating before your date. If it happens prematurely again, take a little while to focus on her pleasure and then try again. Usually the second time around, you will be slower to orgasm. Another idea would be to stick to non-penetrative sex at first. Focus on her pleasure, on making her feel comfortable and safe and you may find your own anxiety dissipates. Either way, talk about it openly, but not as if it is the end of the world. The more you focus on making her feel comfortable and the less you worry about yourself, the safer she will feel with you.

The best way to work on this problem will be with a supportive partner – not with a one night stand. So cultivate an emotional connection first and together you will be able to navigate the physical intimacy.

Good luck, and please check back in to let us know how it goes.

#9

And why don’t you resume the act after you recover from the first ejaculation?

Or does it identically happen in every “round”? Normally one relaxes and lasts much more from the second round on…

And why don’t you resort to TANTRIC sexual practices for developing your endurance? You can learn to stay before the orgasm for hours through the proper relaxation. Try it.

#10

I’m just wondering…do u last few minutes first time only? what if you make love 4 times in a raw? still few minutes?

#11

Wow trueself yoga, nice answer. I want to have sex with you cuddle then make you breakfast in the morning :smiley:

Uhm about your problem, you sound like you are inexperienced. I lasted about 15 seconds the first 10 times i had sex. I think this is normal?

I want to know of what you more experienced yogis think about using mula bhanda(root lock) as a tool of preventing ejaculation and prolonging sex.

#12

Just take some Viagara, or its cheaper Indian equivalent Kamagara. You will last the whole night and she will love you for it! Do this a few times, and then try having sex with the same girl without it.

When you become familiar with her body and having sex with her, next time you have sex with her, you should be less anxious. Also don’t feel pressured that you need to have sex, let it happen naturally. The more comfortable you become with her as a person, the less anxious you will feel around her.

Meanwhile, supplement your diet with natural aphrodisiacs(Indian Shilajeet is know for its sexual-enhancing effects) and work out at the Gym. This will enhance your energy levels.

#13

[QUOTE=pinoyvegasyogi420;68741]

I want to know of what you more experienced yogis think about using mula bhanda(root lock) as a tool of preventing ejaculation and prolonging sex.[/QUOTE]

As far as I know this bandha will make one more aware of pelvic muscles as well strengthen pelvic muscles and this should help to control some things down there:)

#14

try restorative yoga and meditation it will help control your thoughts and anxieties when dealing with that situation

it helps allot maybe to much it takes me forever now

#15

It doesn?t matter how old you are or experienced you may be; premature ejaculation is a problem that affects all men. After helping over 1577 men many of whom had wasted hundreds or even thousands of dollars on useless crappy courses and methods designed to enhance sexual performance and cure premature ejaculation, after receiving hundreds of questions and cries for help I felt obligated to put an end to this misery, frustration and HUMILIATION once and for all!

Listen, my friend, you don’t have to ?numb-out? or anesthetized your self with dangerous desensitizing creams, useless medicine, or any of the endless scam methods sold online.

Making passionate love to your woman for as LONG AS YOU WANT TO be a lot easier than you think! Anybody can do it no matter how bad you think you may be.

But the fact is that it has to be done right or your lack of sexual control and endurance may grow WORSE instead of better.

Here is why …

As a therapist, sex coach and creator of the Best Selling Sexual Skills System – Secret Orgasm Tips. I have helped literally thousands of men all over the world to improve the quality of their sexual and lovemaking performance, turning sexual zeros into REAL SEXUAL HEROS!

You will have…

The most comprehensive and effective program ever created to cure premature ejaculation and gain powerful sexual staying stamina.
You will benefit from a high success rate and you can be confident that the plan will work for you because it has been proven effective for more than 97% premature ejaculators before you.
You are led step-by-step from the moment you download the course until you have learned the skills of making love for as long as you want.
You remain anonymous and benefit promptly because your course is downloaded as soon as you decide that you want it.
You never get stuck because you can email me at anytime if you have questions that arise. You have your own personal sex-coach and therapist available at your fingertips. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 Days a year.
You gain complete understanding of your problem, which gives you a stronger reality-base for curing it. Understanding the nature of the problem is half the battle and The Forever Man Method will give you that understanding.
You take no risk because you are provided with my personal no-questions-asked money-back guarantee.

"So Tell Me My Friend, Are You
Ready To Change Your Life Forever?"
If Yes than visit the following link:
tinyurl.com/7k2renn

#16

[QUOTE=no2pe;71190]It doesn?t matter how old you are or experienced you may be; premature ejaculation is a problem that affects all men. After helping over 1577 men many of whom had wasted hundreds or even thousands of dollars on useless crappy courses and methods designed to enhance sexual performance and cure premature ejaculation, after receiving hundreds of questions and cries for help I felt obligated to put an end to this misery, frustration and HUMILIATION once and for all!

Listen, my friend, you don’t have to ?numb-out? or anesthetized your self with dangerous desensitizing creams, useless medicine, or any of the endless scam methods sold online.

Making passionate love to your woman for as LONG AS YOU WANT TO be a lot easier than you think! Anybody can do it no matter how bad you think you may be.

But the fact is that it has to be done right or your lack of sexual control and endurance may grow WORSE instead of better.

Here is why …

As a therapist, sex coach and creator of the Best Selling Sexual Skills System – Secret Orgasm Tips. I have helped literally thousands of men all over the world to improve the quality of their sexual and lovemaking performance, turning sexual zeros into REAL SEXUAL HEROS!

You will have…

The most comprehensive and effective program ever created to cure premature ejaculation and gain powerful sexual staying stamina.
You will benefit from a high success rate and you can be confident that the plan will work for you because it has been proven effective for more than 97% premature ejaculators before you.
You are led step-by-step from the moment you download the course until you have learned the skills of making love for as long as you want.
You remain anonymous and benefit promptly because your course is downloaded as soon as you decide that you want it.
You never get stuck because you can email me at anytime if you have questions that arise. You have your own personal sex-coach and therapist available at your fingertips. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 Days a year.
You gain complete understanding of your problem, which gives you a stronger reality-base for curing it. Understanding the nature of the problem is half the battle and The Forever Man Method will give you that understanding.
You take no risk because you are provided with my personal no-questions-asked money-back guarantee.

"So Tell Me My Friend, Are You
Ready To Change Your Life Forever?"
If Yes than visit the following link:
tinyurl.com/7k2renn[/QUOTE]

Lol, am I still in the yoga forum ?