Very good discussion is happening on this thread!
Check out the AGAMA Yoga school. They teach tantric yoga with an emphasis on sublimating sexual energy. Mainly they use Uddiyana Bandha, shoulderstand and headstand. And the chance to find a trainingpartner is quite high there 
I had amazing 2 months at their place on Koh Phangan in Thailand… After a while you will be able to have hours of sexual intercourse without wasting one drop!
But take care, Tantra has its dangers!! And AGAMA as well…
There are many excellent Yoga Meditation centers as well as Guru in Thailand. And Koh Phangan is excellent place for Yoga and Meditation.
But be careful, the government of Thailand is facing violence from Public in recent times.
Yes, I am another young female posting. I am not trying to tell you what you should do, but rather how my 17 year old Fiancee and I (16) have managed to mostly suppress our… hunger. Well, first off, we are both Christian and feel masturbation and sex before marriage is not the right way to go. Though, we did have problems in the past (him, masturbating - me, ineraction with others (but not vaginal sex)). Both of us hae used our minds in order to keep ourselves in check, and while the stimulation is VERY MUCH still wanted, it is getting easier to suppress our hunger as we both accept the fact that it iswanted, and that it will not happen now but in the future. From doing this, we have both increased our trust, confidence and belief in not just ourselves, but in each other.
I just thought you might like to know that it is possible to control yourself simply by mental motivation. Though, the need to ejaculate is still there, so if you end up taking this route eventually, expect wet dreams some what often in your sleep.
I hope I have at least given you something to think about! snuggles
There seems to be a puritanical strain within all the worlds main religions, and within that a hatred of the body and its natural processes. They define spirituality in direct opposition to sensuality and say that men must control their “base nature” in order to enter into higher states. They are forever in conflict, at war with their own essential nature. They fight to suppress the aspects of themselves which they have deemed undesirable. When you meet them you get the distinct feeling that their minds are most definitely not free, if any aspect of sexuality is brought up in the conversation they become nervous and uncomfortable, they want to change the subject. They seem strangely dry and lacking in warmth and generosity. Or they suffer a kind of hysteria. They invariably overvalue meditation and other solitary practises and often declare that “everything is in the mind” as if the conception of life were a substitute for actual living.
They outlaw their sexuality, and it turns into a demon that stalks them. It has out in their dreams when the conscious control they exercise is relaxed.
But you cannot just make your sexuality disappear, if you do not give it natural expression it will take unnatural or even harmful expression (we see this in our priests).
And you cannot pray to god to have him remove it, even your deepest faith will not remake you.
And no amount of self mortification or high minded idealism will kill off your sexuality. It’s your lot as a human being, you should accept it, you should make use of it, understand it, learn to distinguish its natural expression from the minds distortion of it - you should find the wisdom in it. You shouldn’t d
It’s not that I’m trying to condemn it.
It’s just the fact that I simply cannot find a mate, nor will I ever be able to it seems. In the meantime it has been killing me and not letting me be able to focus on my life, so I need to do something with it. Right now I’ve not ejaculated in more than 2 months and haven’t ever stimulated my organ in this time, I’ve only thought about sex and looked at porn a couple times just to see what it would be like without stimulating it and such, but I’ve since stopped.
It’s really the only thing I can do if I’m never going to find a mate for the rest of my life so I can live in peace. It sounds defeatist but this world is really messed up and I am outcast because I am different in a place I cannot get out of right now, there’s nothing I can do.
Besides, even if I do find a mate, I want to learn sacred sex, and not just just rajasic or tamasic sex. I want to be able to control myself and keep it pure and with love.
Whatever that means.
I know there will be people here that will say that I just need to forget about all that and do things which would be considered impure because “it’s our nature”… but… I dont know.
Maybe the reason why it is condemned in religions is because they fear it, not because they really want to condemn it. Perhaps it’s because they never got to reach complete sexual fulfillment, don’t know sacred sex, don’t know love, and are filled with sexual frustrations. It is a powerful force indeed and can poison the mind and cause physiological as well as psychic complications if not taken care of. In fact it can kill if not taken care of properly.
It’s not a bad thing to learn to control sexuality when crimes, wars, frustrations, violence, aggressions and needless competition is brought about by sexuality. Brahmacharya can reverse excessive passion.
It seems you have very strong feelings and lots of ideas so why not talk to someone one-to-one. Trying to get clarity at a distacnce, via a forum, doesn’t compare with direct contact. Maybe you would gain clarity in counselling. I’m not suggesting you have a problem, just that you may need to explore your ideas & feelings with another person in depth.
I know nothing about sublimating desire, nor am I really interested in finding out how to do it, but I do know that greater self-awareness is never detrimental.
I believe there is great wisdom on the west these days, that has been strengthened by contact with the east. Myself, I look at emerging ideas too.
TheSt0rm
I don’t even know where to start because I am in the exact same situation. Perhaps everything works out for a reason, because in order for a couple to practice true tantra they must practice the non-sexual bramhacharya for a few years first.
Personally, when I am fully devoted to my yoga practices ie. pranayama, hatha, etc… Sexual desire does not come up, and I am also 23, so it is possible. But when I change my mind by reading something or hearing something from someone with an animalistic mind, I may turn my attention to lower to the sex centre. This ignites a great amount of desire and frustration due to its unfulfillment.
The reason that it is not fulfilled for me is because I have a fear of dating. I am attractive and charming, and women approach me, but I am just straight up scared. I try to overcome the fear to the best of my ability. But it just has not worked out yet. It is very frustrating when the desire is there. When the desire is not there and I have been practicing my sadhana, there is no frustration, only power and a huge amount of energy. So much energy that I am so strong and powerful!
Practicing of prolonging will activate sexual desire even more. With the path that you have chosen, it sounds like you are very spiritually focused. Therefor I would suggest a devoted yoga practice. Google, kundalini tantra, and there is a .pdf file, by swami satyananda saraswati. This book will explain a lot. I am just reading it right now, and all of my experiences are making so much sense.
People will tell you, you are an animal. But, you are not completely animal, you are also a spiritual being. And the most important part of our evolution from animal to spirit is the sublimation of sexual energy.
It is difficult, but with true devotion and practice you can master your desires, and this is when you attain liberation. The thing is, you have already come a far way, because your desires are brought to the surface of your awareness.
I hope I explained some things. And I am sure I still have many things to learn. But one thing is certain. One can sublimate the sexual energy, transcend desire, and attain supreme samadhi and the awakening of kundalini. These people are the greatest!
Yes, also, I forgot to mention some things that I do specifically to sublimate sexual energy.
#1 - Siddhasana - My favourite. One who masters this asana, can easily sublimate the sexual energy. I practice all of my pranayamas in siddhasana.
#2 - Ujjayi pranayama - My favourite. If you preform this with the kumbhaka(when breath is held in right?) including the 3 bandhas(the locks, anal, stomach, and throat with eyes upwards), then this is a direct tool for sexual sublimation. Visualization included, bring the energy upward.
Many of the other pranayamas also help or directly sublimate the energy.
There is also vajroli mudra which will help you retain the semen, but I do not know much about this. I remember reading somewhere about sucking in water through the urethral canal. I remember also reading that sucking up water is not necessary, so I am guessing that it would be like a bandha but sucked in more. Its like the PC muscle, but bringing it inward and upward and holding it there during the breath retention.
I have not had nocturnal emission since practicing siddhasana and ujjayi + other pranayamas. Also, it is far easier to control the mind with these practices, and far easier to control desire.