I am finding myself increasingly drawn to my single male yoga teacher. I’m female and also single. I do feel that this attraction is a direct result of the fact that I am the student and he is teaching me and I have developed a lot of respect and admiration for his talents as a yogi and a teacher. Lately my practice with him has become a lot more intimate and intense, however never inappropriate or threatening. My instincts tell me that he is also somewhat attracted to me, but I don’t know if he will try to take things further. He seems very cautious. While I believe that ultimately the two of us would not be compatible for a long term relationship, I wouldn’t mind having a brief romance with him to see where it might lead. Is it ok to maybe develop the friendship a bit, maybe starting with a coffee date or something equally casual?
This topic is a “two yogis, three opinions” type of topic. You are likely to receive every reply under the sun, from “go for it” to “don’t do it”.
Generally speaking, in the yogic construct (assuming one is not a renunciate) the more fulfilling relationships are ones where two whole beings come together to form a healthy union. In that context neither is filling a void for the other; each is whole, and complete. These are the spiritual relationships we hear so much about but so rarely see.
For a yoga teacher it is not “okay” to troll classes for dates. As a yoga teacher it is not appropriate to leave energetic openings such that students can feel an attraction, an opportunity, an opening. This usually results in “cording”. Such a result drains energy from both parties and often distracts from the path.
That having been said, finding ones life partner in class is another matter all together. When both parties are serious about a long-term, committed, growing relationship then it is fine to pursue that. Experimentation should be pursued elsewhere - not between student and teacher.
When a teacher continually dates various students it taints the trust relationship between student and teacher that is so very necessary in a good yoga class. If it is a poor yoga class and no one on either side of the equation actually cares about Yoga itself, then the preceding text has no bearing whatsoever.
I only say one thing teacher and student relationship should have integrity. Even it is yoga there these thing(integrity) some kinda looks must.
I find it curious when a first post involves an intimate presentation. Is this posed in many other forums as well in an effort to get poll results? A teacher/student sexual relationship is rarely OK, but the question comes up in every forum, from auto mechanics to xylophone level 2.
Teacher/student and man/woman relationship appears intertwined here. I agree with InnerAthlete, that teacher/student relationship cannot be fully conducive with an overlay of mutual attraction that originates elsewhere.
Mute question is whether we can separate the two and whether we should. One option can be tried out: change the teacher for a while. This will allow assessment of how much of the attraction is real and hom much is a typical teacher infatuation.
If a serious relationship still emerges, getting back together in Yoga may become complementary to the personal equation.
Thank you all for your reponses. Very interesting and useful. I have had some opportunity to explore my relationship with him outside of the yoga studio and I find him very different when he is not teaching yoga or talking about yoga. He seems out of his comfort zone, awkward and I see that outside of yoga and a few superficial interests we have little in common. Our reference points are so different. I think I’ll just keep doing the classes and leave it at that.
Sounds like a good choice…I’ve had similiar things happen (not in yoga but in my grad classes) and what you describe is exactly what happened to me. Outside of a narrow interest window there was nothing.