When we are going through the most difficult moment in the life, some people try to tell as a story about that someone else (at the very end of the Earth) might feel even worst.
Sometime it works.
Do you think this is compassion that works?
I think then we start to feel compassion to others and concentrate on their suffering We tend to suffer less.
are you asking if it works sometimes or works all the time?
maybe it works for some people and not others
THUS HAVE I HEARD…
Compassion arises for all sentient beings, who under the darkness, fall into the ocean again and again because they simply don’t realize their essential nature.
I think you just do what you can for a friend and hope for the best.
Namaste City Monk,
Other people?s suffering can give us perspective, and make our own situation seem less severe. However, all suffering is relative, and we should allow ourselves to suffer if necessary, this means not comparing suffering.
That said, I do not like it when people ?prey? on other people?s suffering, which I think we often do to make ourselves feel better. A friend of mine is very depressed, the other day she asked me this: ?please tell me about other people?s problems so that I will feel better?..needless to say, I did not.
So I think there is a fine line between being [U]grateful[/U], and [U]using [/U]another?s suffering to elate yourself.
[QUOTE=omamana;35814]
That said, I do not like it when people ?prey? on other people?s suffering, [/QUOTE]
Yes… but does this “prey” on suffering make us feel compassion to those people who suffer more then we do? or does this “prey” makes us happy that someone suffer more than we do?..
By knowing about others suffering you tend to realize that you are not alone who is going through the bad situation, there are many who are suffering even worst than you, this feeling gives you a sigh of relief.
In your shoes, I personally would choose to suffer as much as humanly possible for two reasons:
1: Any less would not do it justice.
2: Acknowledging pain is the only way to see through it, that I know of.
Edit: If I’m not mixing you up with someone else, what you’re going through is far worse than anything I have ever experienced (and I sincerely hope to never experience the same), and I sympathise. However, adequate words of comfort are beyond me.
[QUOTE=CityMonk;36299]Yes… but does this “prey” on suffering make us feel compassion to those people who suffer more then we do? or does this “prey” makes us happy that someone suffer more than we do?..[/QUOTE]
I think it depends on each individual. But this is a good question! Perhaps it depends on the psychological patterns of the person. Some people smile when a co-worker is catching flack, perhaps that is the same person who feels better when they see someone suffering more than them.
I once read a definition of the idiom “Misery loves company” as “Unhappy people like other people to be unhappy too”. I disagree with this interpretation entirely. The first time I heard this I was probably 8 years old, and my understanding then is the same as it is now. When one is in pain or misery, one wants to be around others experiencing similar pain in order to gain strength collectively to overcome it (granted, my 8 year old interpretation was a little simpler, but I got the gist).
This is why group therapy is so successful. Being around others who are experiencing suffering brings comfort that we are not alone, and evokes understanding of the suffering in ourselves.
Conversely, it is a natural human reaction to turn away from those that are suffering as a survival mechanism. “No one wants you around when you’re down” is another idiom that I have experienced personally. It’s like you are contagious and the instinctual move is avoidance. Then there are the truly compassionate who resist the temptation to turn away, recognize it you are suffering, and offer to help.
A friend in need is a friend indeed.
a little off topic…but
The thought came after morning meditation…
There are constant amount of suffering and joy in the world. Distribution is quite unfair sometimes. When one suffers at the one end of the world, someone on the other side of the world might feel the highest pion of happiness…
By suffering or voluntarily renunciating some “goodies” we can influence on that distribution and make someone else unknown more happier…
What do you think?