Greetings Pagans and Idolaters! I come to tout a proud moment in Christian history, the genocide and forced conversion of devil worshiping Hindus from the 1560-1774 and from 1778-1812 (we Christians experienced a brief lapse in morality and Godliness from 1774-1778, a time period in which we stopped raping Hindus, but I digress). Without further ado, I present to you the Goa Inquisition!
Take pride my fellow peace loving and tolerant Christians at the way we brutally interrogated, flogged, and slowly dismembered the Satan spawn in front of their children by slicing off their eyelids and amputating their extremities so that only the torso and the head remained!
Although it is regretful we stopped the Inquisition, my heart is filled with joy when I proclaim that Goa, in modern times, is a predominantly Christian area! In the end, the way in which we manage to convince those idolaters to assimilate our Holy practices into their primitive religion, a balance that eventually resulted in the person becoming thoroughly Christian, is evidence of the power of Christ’s love through centuries of physical torture and psychological oppression!