The longing

We sat knee to knee
I said to her,
“self sufficiency is what this is all about.”

she nodded
I felt the impact of my words.

“what is true to you ? what are you looking for?
what is not changing in you? that is what is real!”

she nodded
I felt the impact of my words.

“its the longing that is what we need to immerse our selves in. the longing without
looking for the door out or in. just to be in the longing, no resolution necessary,
because we cant count on it. it may never be.”

she nodded
I felt the impact of my words.

Then I reached over and hugged her
so she could not see the tears in my eyes.
after all, why was she there?
not to hear my words.
I was saying them to myself.

the student disappeared, the teacher did too.
we were one miserable ball of confusion
huddling together, holding on to one another
needing to know there was another
who was longing for it.

and I told her,
if she found it,
she should call me
and tell me what it was.