The moments when we feel tested

Spirituality
#1

Namaster Dear Friends,

Currently I am having very difficult times in my life, that I cannot even make sense of why this is happening. I try to justify that my resolve is being tested by the universe, and that it wants me to learn something through such hard times. And yet again, I’ve always had a difficult life for the last 5-6 years…

That is why, I feel very unlucky, introverted and dysfunctional at the moment, which Yoga is unable to remedy. I have severe disturbances in my kundalini energy, and recently I started to puke blood out of my stomach. My tongue dries out, and my apetite is gone…

My shamanic path suggests me to summon a power animal -preferably an elephant for endurance, and monkey for intelligence and cougar for courage- which could sustain me throughout these hard times. And yet I ain’t a master…

However, I would be happy to hear your experiences if you have any…the moments that made you feel that you are really tested by that unfathomable spiritual power, and you lost all the hope…

#2

High Wolf,

“I try to justify that my resolve is being tested by the universe, and that it wants me to learn something through such hard times.”

The universe is not testing you, neither does it care in particular for your being. And whether you have been livign as a “good” man or a “bad” man, nature is indiscriminate. As far as nature is concerned, it is only interested in recycling your energies.

But certainly, it may feel as though you are being tested because you are going through some friction. And suffering is absolutely necessary in heightening one’s understanding. It is not a hindrance, in fact it is a great opportunity to come to more awareness. Some unconsciousness is completely necessary in order to continue repeating the same mistakes again and again in cycles, in order to continue suffering. And unless one comes to a certain direct insight, the same is going to continue in vicious circles. Lao Tzu has said a state of enormous significance. He has said that if you are traveling in a certain direction, if you do not change, you may simply end up where you are going.

Our suffering has definite root causes in the mind. And unless one comes to a direct insight into the root causes of one’s suffering, they will simply continue working according to it’s tendencies. And man is so deeply programmed, and so deeply conditioned, that his being is going to resist transformation at any cost. It is a very stubborn force, the moment we take even a step outside of our comfort zone, now we want to retreat immdediately. One is entering into the unknown, and man feels far more comfortable and secure in the known.

“which Yoga is unable to remedy.”

The problem does not lie in the methods of yoga, but in how you are using them. Otherwise, such physical and mental problems can easily be overcome if you are practicing in the right way.

#3

@High Wolf,

Sorry to hear that you are having such a rough time. It happens to the best of us. I’ve been through times when I was badly hurt, in intense pain and unable to work or even to walk, and not sure if I would ever be able to work again and all of the emotional stuff that goes along with it.

I pretty much just freaked out, and got involved in doing things so that I would not have to think about it. In hindsight, I would have been much better off just trying to stay calm and use the time for some quiet reflection, but it’s really hard to do when you’re suffering.

I don’t know much about your situation but in general I’d say that it doesn’t pay to try to figure out what the universe is doing to you. That’s really an emotional response. Your job is to do what you need to do (in terms of doctors and so forth) so that your body can heal. My own mid-life crisis lasted for about fifteen years. I hope yours gets resolved a little quicker.

#4

High Wolf,

While I honor your Shamanic path, there are times allopathic medicine is appropriate. And if you’re puking blood, there’s a problem. Is there a Doctor close by that you can trust to treat you holistically and allow you to blend different modes of treatment? It concerns me about the blood and could indicate something serious that needs traditional treatment.

Many of us have gone through darker times, my friend. With the love and support of family and friends (and yoga of course) that dark cloud will pass. I’m glad you decided to share this with our little community. There is a wealth of knowledge here and we are all here to help.

Would you allow me to do distant Reiki on you? There is nothing you have to do but accept it. Let me know please.

#5

Thank you for sharing this with us. Has something specific happened that threw you into this dark period? Was there an unexpected change that blind-sighted you?

Although you first describe your emotional distress, I agree with LG in that the puking blood is a sign of physical distress. Proper professional help will go a long way in aiding both issues.

Three books I recommend:
Transitions by William Bridges
The Happiness Purpose by Edward De Bono
The Life You Were Born To Live by Dan Millman

#6

Great selection of books Flex. I have the Dan Millman book. Awesome.

#7

Namaste Highwolf,

It sounds very bad that you are puking up blood, this could be indicative of a very serious physical health problem. You need to consult a doctor regarding this.

What you need is not books or imaginary entities, but composure and calmess which will come from meditation. When you become a watcher of the unfolding of your life, then you become indifferent to the peaks and troughs that happen in life. In your life too, there are peaks and troughs. Look out for them, even within a single day you will find these peaks and troughs.

I know it is easier said than done, but there really is only one way you will get bring lasting peace in your life, when you develop that watching consciousness. If you abide in that state of watching consciosness then you begin to develop the qualities of consciousness, all of which are positive and eventually your entire being becomes a source of positive and all your actions virtuous.

I do not at all claim to have actualized those qualities because I am not at this moment following a path of meditation. However, through experience in my life I have learned to become more indfferent to the peaks and troughs in life. So I no longer get estatic when good things happen in my life, nor depressed when bad things happen. I just go with the flow. Enjoy whatever is happening.

#8

Thanks all, for helpful comments and concerns. Unfortunately, I acknowledge that my spiritual cultivation is not good enough to overcome such hard times. As for puking blood, I suffer from gastritis. When stress becomes overwhelming, my stomach starts lurching and takes control of my mind. Visiting a doctor won’t solve the issue, for I am in no mood for having medications, which often put me in mood disorder…

@lotusgirl_ Alas, there is no doctor nearby who could holistically treat me. So go on with distant Reiki pls :stuck_out_tongue:

Long story short, my case shows resemblance to a highly endangered ecosystem or vulnerable species…