Traped between worlds

Mindfulness Meditation
#21

bjoy:

'i’ve no words. i cant/we cant. you got to heal the tights and pains.
get into Sushumna. surrender. the breath. i’m damn sure ‘bout all the petals of the lotus going to bloom bright. keep in touch.’

İ half-knew you were right. My friend helped in a similar way too… he thought İ was crazy for a long time while İ was ranting about the pain, then İ slowed down and described to him what meditation is and the difference between being and not being absorbed in reality. When İ finished he no longer doubted what İ was doing, instead he said ‘maybe you just need to carry on meditating’. And İ did.

#22

The typo in the thread title translates: raped between worlds.

For all you bliss lovers … how can one be omniscient, if one does not know sorrow ? Until one still makes a difference between pleasant and unpleasant things … one is still in bondage.

You are attached to your heaven. You need to go beyond bliss. You need to crave this bliss, this heaven you need to long for like crazy, only to be robbed of it. And only when you are in the darkest hour, only than you will become ripe to give up yourself, the illusion of your own importance, and the attachment to the pleasures of the ego.

The measure of love and truth is not bliss, and pleasure, but sacrifice. To give further freely what has been bestowed on you. There is nothing you own, there is nothing we are entitled to. We are humans, and there are six billions of us. You are just one of many. Break free of the atachment to your own person. See yourself with the eyes of a stranger. Without compassion, without pity, without hope. Isn’t that how we look at strangers ? Only than you will start to know yourself. For the scientific method can be, and should be applied to the spiritual asepct of one’s life. You can only discern and objectively look at something if you differentiate yourself from that something. In this case, it is the person you are what you need to differentiate from.

PS. Edited out some possibly offending material.

#23

‘The typo in the thread title translates: raped between worlds.’

One could say it felt like that.

İ wouldn’t want to identify the pains of awakening with rape or being crucified though. Because all of those things, as far as İ know, break one and leave one broken. They stay, the fear and pain stay. Whereas this was incredibly painful, but the practice is in non-clinging, moving beyond pain, so while the pain might be comparable to worldly sufferings, it doesn’t stay.

When it’s over it’s over, and no bitterness remains. That’s the difference between this and violence. İt’s the difference between torture and childbirth.

#24

'The measure of love and truth is not bliss, and pleasure, but sacrifice. ’

İ used to say to myself, that all religious sacrifices were attempts to stave off the only sacrifice the Goddess desires - sacrifice of self.

#25

[QUOTE=trapped between worlds;63419]The agony is the energy moving through the sushumna and through the chakras. [/QUOTE]

the bliss is then, whn the sushumna is open

#26

Yes

#27

means, energy is n’t moving through the center and through the chakras.

can be through the right/left. ? the pains .

if so wht u’ll do ?

#28

the drink poisoned your System.
please come out of It.
get into yoga, Again.
kundalini Purifies
and Shines

Namaste.

İ bow to that which you are, my love, namaste.

#29

Dear Trapped,

As others have written, it may be beneficial to find a teacher who can help you through this difficult time. Traversing this path alone may not be necessary. Do you know someone knowledgeable and trustworthy with whom you can speak and study?

Also, I do not know how the health system in Turkey works, but if I were you, I would look into other causes for the pain in your lower back. Might you have a sacral or lumbar disc issue? Pain like that - that interrupts your life to such an extent - should be checked by a healthcare provider. It may be kundalini, but it may not be. Why struggle in pain unnecessarily? It clearly is not benefiting your practice.

Further, you have mentioned antidepressants several times. It sounds to me as though you have already answered your own question. If you feel as though you are in such a state of despair and depression, especially if you are considering suicide, you should see a mental health provider and discuss antidepressant treatment (as well as other treatments) and counseling. It is necessary to do both together. If you are hopelessly depressed and cannot concentrate on the regular activities of life, and those activities that usually bring you enjoyment, how will you progress on the path? They helped you concentrate and meditate before. Perhaps they will be beneficial again.

Lastly, if you find yourself in a position where you will do harm to yourself, please call emergency services or make your way to a crisis center or emergency department ASAP. You can not attain liberation if you are no longer living.

#30

[QUOTE=Hubert;63427]The typo in the thread title translates: raped between worlds.

For all you bliss lovers …[/QUOTE]

Worthy of note, words you write, next time you?re in Pennsylvania stop by for a cup of green tea and we?ll scrutinize ego?

#31

bjoy:

I meant ‘yes’, İ am in bliss now. İ’m sorry, for me it was as if you knew somehow that İ had opened the sushumna, and İ was replying ‘yes İ have, and the bliss is growing in waves’.

You can’t hear one’s tone of voice on the internet, if so you would have known.

Thankyou so much for your concern. İ might have been stronger and trusted: İ have done this before. But it took five years this time. Five years of watching my mind convince itself it would be still soon. Anyway, the worst part is done. İ have passed beyond the desire for alcohol and the kundalini is flowing.

İ am in Anatolia, by the way. İt is very beautiful here; you can watch the sun go down behind mountains over sea, it is so fast and you want to hold it there yet there is a thrill when it is gone.

Layers of mountain silhouettes
beyond the sea, in three deepening
tints of mauve,

then the same colours
paint clouds in Chinese brushstrokes

below salmon sky lightening under their wisps -
a great fish swims into blue İ cannot colour for you.

Evergreen fronds whisper to heaven
that it is sometimes easy to mistake
clouds for mountains.

#32

cydrtha and everyone else who is concerned. İt’s ok now. İ’m sorry for worrying you, at the time İ felt İ had nowhere else to turn.

Thanks for your support. İt was well done.

Namaste.

#33

[QUOTE=trapped between worlds;63478]

Layers of mountain silhouettes
beyond the sea, in three deepening
tints of mauve,

then the same colours
paint clouds in Chinese brushstrokes

below salmon sky lightening under their wisps -
a great fish swims into blue İ cannot colour for you.

Evergreen fronds whisper to heaven
that it is sometimes easy to mistake
clouds for mountains.[/QUOTE]

? WHY.

I come to read this, every day/night

Therefore, I?m copying The Poem to paste in my diary. My confession.

For me, it?s a Class.