Very stress these days, bad yoga experience!

Yoga Discussion General Yoga
#1

Hi,
I don’t know where to start as I don’t want to bring too much negativity to this forum.
I practice yoga since 2003 but it has always been a up and down activity, although I am very fond of the philosophy, I try to live Yoga as much as I can, read lot of books and I am in contact with lot of people who are involved in teaching yoga and practicing ayurveda.
On the other hand, I also have a lifestyle of a regular egoistic person, I work very hard but my work leave me frustrated, I make very little money for so much efforts and time provided to my company, I don’t hate my job but it’s not the dream I had as a young entrepreneur!
I still eat meat, go out, drink sometimes, enjoy partying with friends, but duality often arises and tells me I should focus more on Yoga, but it is difficult in my situation and with my job in marketing and sales.

Lately, I was feeling very depressed and tired, stressed and bored, and often I feel worse after yoga, I feel like my life is so bad that I wouldn’t mind dying at that moment, nothing matters, I can’t focus on yoga, I can’t reach the single second of true concentration in meditation after all these years… I always leave my yoga sessions frustrated and not relaxed at all!

Can someone help and provide some advises, I know some will tell me to stop partying, drinking, eating meat, change job… but be realistic, we can not all have the destiny of a yogi or stick to this diet when single and bored at home when having to sleep at 10pm !

MeY

#2

Why do you want to live a life that is so different from the one you have made for yourself?

#3

Mey, keep doing yoga but don’t set any other goal ( like the 1 minute of pure concentration ) other than to feel better here and now. Do the asanas that feel good and do them the way they feel good. Just do that whenever you can. Eventually, yoga will change your life for the better. The things you are better off not doing will naturally fall away because yoga will making you healthier from the inside out. Just do yoga on a regular basis. Take classes and that will help in several ways- the regular practice , the society of healthy-minded people and a teacher who can give personal guidance and support. Yoga is not a chore or duty, it’s a joy and a better life.

#4

Welcome to the Forum.

May I ask you this: Is your bad yoga experience perhaps a direct result of you harbouring and nurturing all those frustrations, angers, fears and egos? I feel most of what you say here is self-imposed and rather a reflection of deeper issues you have and I would implore you to search deeper for an answer than just scrathing the surface here. I also read plenty of resentment and the ever so old human trait of blaming everyone else except myself.

The world is our mirror, what we see on the outside is a reflection of the inside and it seems to me that you pretty much don’t like the reflection at this point in your life. The power to change resides with you and no matter what anyone would say to you, you need to will it to change and then do it. Do this lovingly and with inner compassion towards the Self and you’ll find it might be easier than you think.

Good luck with this, changing your life can be a challenge.

#5

Thank you all for your responses,
It is true that for some part of life ego was very present, but I have gone beyond that point already a long time ago,

The stressed feeling arises more from work and all the things surrounding the pressure within work. I like my job, I have a great time at the office, but my nature is to constantly think (Vata - Pitta) and my head is always “on the run”, going here and there and thoughts of work are more and more persistent, so when I do Yoga I can’t stop thinking about what was done during the day, especially the negative aspects of it, and it keeps me from focusing on my breathing, I stay stuck in certain asanas sometimes just because I don’t think about what I’m doing anymore but about my job, I hear my colleagues voices, I re-play what happened during the day etc…

This is really frustrating, and the end feeling is a very deep sadness, wondering: why can’t I practice and let go?? why my practice is not as relaxed and beneficial as it used to be?

I know it is extreme, but I walk home from Yoga sometimes with a desire to die, I dream and see myself commiting suicide and immediately tells myself that it is crazy… but why is it going so far in my head? I don’t think I am suicidal, but I just feel like death would be better than living without being able to do what I love doing!

#6

Well if you love doing stuff you won’t be doing it if you are dead. Don’t mean to be course but it’s difficult to discuss life and death via a forum. Please continue doing yoga. It has lasted thousands of years and had millions of devotees because it is larger than the petty day-to-day and will, given time and the practice, put it all in perspective for you. It was built to take your mind into the present moment-just continue the practice-it’ll be better. Let go and let God.

#7

OK, that’s depression. A medical opinion from a medical tradition you trust will help. In the mean time, each time a negative thought presents itself, counter it with a positive one. Just as these negative thoughts are running you down, positive memories will defend and support you. The positive doesn’t have to be in the same subject as the negative – a loving memory about baking cookies with grandma can counter a memory about not solving a problem as quickly as you wanted to.
And, start looking for opportunities to follow your dream. Especially as a single person, the risk of failing at your dream might be smaller than the risk of not following it.

#8

[QUOTE=MeY;21895]

This is really frustrating, and the end feeling is a very deep sadness, wondering: why can’t I practice and let go?? why my practice is not as relaxed and beneficial as it used to be?
![/QUOTE]

A couple of questions,
is it possible that before your expectations of yoga were less, so you were more relaxed, now that you have memories of reaching a “deep state” or relaxation you are putting pressure on yourself to reach this state more?

if you drink a few drinks how do you feel? relaxed? with drinking we know that a few drinks, or even a couple may relax us, so logic says well if a couple will relax many should relax us much more, through experience most of us find that not to be true.

From my experience I believe Yoga can become an addiction like most anything else, with very similar side effects. So the balance between too much and too little, is for you to realize. I wish you the best in your life, you deserve it.
your brother
Neil

#9

Your frustration from work is because you were expecting it to be a certain way and that’s not coming to be. Maybe try practicing yoga without expecting anything from it. Let go, surrender kind of thing.

Your job on the other hand is a tough one. You can accept it for the way it is or move on. Accept the things you cannot change or move on. Try to find something in it that you like. That will make you look forward to it.

Best of luck to you!

#10

[QUOTE=Techne;21897] In the mean time, each time a negative thought presents itself, counter it with a positive one. Just as these negative thoughts are running you down, positive memories will defend and support you. .[/QUOTE]

In my opinion this is great advice. Patanjali gave it. I will recommend to read the sutras 30, 31, and 32.

My understanding, from Yogananda is:

A human being has three bodies: causal (mind), astral (energy, prana, life force) and physical (matter)

The life force can cure you of anything, but also can kill you. But the life force is guided by the mind in this order

mind-----life force-----body

Learning how to guide your life force through your mind will definitely not only cure you but it will give you much, infinitely much more. It is basically up to you.

#11

:wink: Thank you to everyone, lot of positive vibes in these messages! I know it is just a matter of facilitating positivity i my mind that will help balance my mood and let me get back to a more focus practice !! It is just hard sometimes, anyway thanks a lot to all for your kind messages and thorough ideas :slight_smile:

Peace

#12

A strong power of will can move enormous amounts of cosmic energy.

      Yogananda
#13

[QUOTE=MeY;21755]Hi,
I don’t know where to start as I don’t want to bring too much negativity to this forum.
I practice yoga since 2003 but it has always been a up and down activity, although I am very fond of the philosophy, I try to live Yoga as much as I can, read lot of books and I am in contact with lot of people who are involved in teaching yoga and practicing ayurveda.
On the other hand, I also have a lifestyle of a regular egoistic person, I work very hard but my work leave me frustrated, I make very little money for so much efforts and time provided to my company, I don’t hate my job but it’s not the dream I had as a young entrepreneur!
I still eat meat, go out, drink sometimes, enjoy partying with friends, but duality often arises and tells me I should focus more on Yoga, but it is difficult in my situation and with my job in marketing and sales.

Lately, I was feeling very depressed and tired, stressed and bored, and often I feel worse after yoga, I feel like my life is so bad that I wouldn’t mind dying at that moment, nothing matters, I can’t focus on yoga, I can’t reach the single second of true concentration in meditation after all these years… I always leave my yoga sessions frustrated and not relaxed at all!

Can someone help and provide some advises, I know some will tell me to stop partying, drinking, eating meat, change job… but be realistic, we can not all have the destiny of a yogi or stick to this diet when single and bored at home when having to sleep at 10pm !

MeY[/QUOTE]

Im a very new at yoga only know a few moves. But i will devulge a secret for relaxing and focusing. Before exercising say about 30 minutes. drink a couple of cups of green tea with honey. This will calm you and help you focus.

Now for those stressfull work days, drink green tea often. Several times per day. Believe me this ain;t hokey it really helps a lot. Green tea helps you to find your balance.

#14

Yoga is great for dealing with stress. It is amazing how much better I feel after a session.

#15

[QUOTE=MeY;21755]

Can someone help and provide some advises ?

MeY[/QUOTE]

I posted before the general ideas :

mind----------life force----------body

Now comes how to do it practically:

http://www.hinduism.co.za/mind.htm

#16

Hello MeY,

There are several points raised in your post.
The first is the deep feelings you are having which make you feel like dying.
And there are two elements to this. The first is the misperception that all yoga is designed to, and ultimately makes, the practitioner feel “blissed out”. Yoga is about balancing the lives of human beings and is neither about making you feel like you cannot move at all nor feeling as though you must run about like a jack rabbit. Sloths should have more energy while jack rabbits should be a bit calmer. The question is whether the practice you have chosen is appropriate for you.

That bigger piece is the practice you are doing. Since you have not outlined it in any way whatsoever it is impossible to evaluate. And, frankly, even with a thorough outline it is challenging to evaluate. So it is possible that the practice you are doing is not an appropriate one for who you are as a human being.

In addition, a sound practice can churn up a variety of emotions for us to process. Some would contend this is the practice itself - bringing up things for us to look at, about us, for us, in our lives. It is the meeting of you by you:-) That is most obviously facilitated in quietude and stillness and IS the beginnings of the cultivation of mindfulness.

Once that mindfulness is cultivated (or well on its way) then we can examine things like eating meat, drinking, jobs appropriate to your personal mission, or the elements you refer to as egoistic. It is fine, even necessary to have an ego and there is no destruction of the ego (in Purna Yoga™). There is only the surrender of it to the heart center for transformation.

It is fine to make mindful decisions to eat meat, drink alcohol, use profanity…as long as the practitioner has a sense that they are creating ripples in their own pool and they are willing thus to take on the consequences with a smile and great joy. Mindful choosing, not living as a monk (unless of course your individual mission in life is to live as a monk).

When I teach I give my students the opportunity to reduce future suffering.Part of that teaching in Purna Yoga™ is a wisdom of nutrition and lifestyle.Then they do as they see fit and I love them none the less.

I hope this is helpful and gives you some ideas about what is next.

gordon

#17

Dearest MeY,

Your post touched me deeply.
You have received some wonderful advice
and support here–and in that spirit, I invite you
to write personally to me. PM me here or you may
e-mail me directly from my web-site where I offer
free spiritual counseling and advice.

YOU are a beautiful Soul. Rejoice in this fact!

The Buddha taught: The 4 Boundless Meditations:
For you now contemplate JOY (one of these 4)
What brings you immeasurable joy? Focus on joy
as it is the antidote to sadness.

I am in contact with lot of people who are involved in teaching yoga and practicing ayurveda.

Since you are blessed to have this support sytem…seek guidance.
MeY, please see someone for therapy asap. You will be guided.

Keep in touch…I look forward to hearing from you, MeY

Best with Blessings, Namaste,
Rev. Nancy

#18

Dear Inner Athlete, thank you for your very clear and logic support and advices on yoga practice,

To be more specific, I don’t really stick to a specific style, I practice with an Indian friend who was trained as a teacher by the kerala yoga association, so it is just the pure indian tradition of yoga, what we could call Hata yoga or classic yoga :slight_smile: in the west, we just perform different sequences of asanas, sometimes focusing on specific part of the body if needed (my legs are always very stiff!!)

In addition to what you also talked about the feeling of dying, I don’t feel that I am dying at the actual moment of practising, but I have dreams and thoughts of dying or suicide instead of facing the problems that I have in life and that make my practice very disturbed and poor in concentration… somehow I feel like these suicide thoughts are very intense after a practice…
and they leave me very sad and lonely during the following hours.

[QUOTE=InnerAthlete;22048]Hello MeY,

The first is the deep feelings you are having which make you feel like dying.
And there are two elements to this. The first is the misperception that all yoga is designed to, and ultimately makes, the practitioner feel “blissed out”.

gordon[/QUOTE]

#19

MeY – I have no familiarity with the training your friend has done. Was it mostly athletic and physical in nature, or would his training have something to say about these more subtle things going on for you?

#20

MeY,

Just do shavasana. lying down without any movement.

Deepak