What do I need to be happy?

Spirituality
#1

Seems to be a good question to me. Answer varies from time to time, but just now I felt like talking about it.

On some level, I guess I know happiness is in me, there is nothing “outside” that I really require to feel happy. Also I seem to know that seting myself reasons, requirements to be happy maks me feel not happy, UNTIL all those things will happen. And finally, I seem to know that there are moments of happiness (my friend gave me that idea and I like it) meaning that often people expect that at some point in their life they will be happy, finally, and it will last, but my friend believes that there are moments, when you wish this moment would never end, and those are moments of hapiness, and that what hapiness realy is.

Yet, all the above seem to be just truths I have accepted only in my mind, but not be whole me, and so I have all sort of expectations what needs to happen for me to be happy: I want to love and be loved be someone I will be with a relationship with; I want to be a better person, more evolved, more in the moment… I even do yoga to be more happy (often helps me to be in the moment and feel happy, but for short ammounts of time) rarely, I experience moments of being happy just by myself, just because I am, I have myself, and those are very strong. But somehow, a moment ends and its as if I`v forgotten about it, and again chase my carrots on a stick. So I guess I know happiness comes from within, and yet am too busy by catching other things to find it, yet I am not yet able to change that.

What are your thoughts and ideas about it? Being happy, so simple, and so difficult.

#2

Happiness is nothing more than a state of mind. Anything that will faciliate a calm state of mind whether that be physical techniques, psychological techniques will create that state.

Many of us have a rough idea what faciliates this state. Some get it from doing a favourite activity, accomplishments, socialising with people they enjoy the company of, sex, food and drink, or going to particuar locations. Identify those main areas and do them more.

However, eventually you do not want to be dependent on anything outside of you to bring that state of happiness. Eventually you want to naturalize that state and this is done through mind-body training like Yoga.

1 Like
#3

[QUOTE=Surya Deva;34006]Happiness is nothing more than a state of mind. Anything that will faciliate a calm state of mind whether that be physical techniques, psychological techniques will create that state.

Many of us have a rough idea what faciliates this state. Some get it from doing a favourite activity, accomplishments, socialising with people they enjoy the company of, sex, food and drink, or going to particuar locations. Identify those main areas and do them more.

However, eventually you do not want to be dependent on anything outside of you to bring that state of happiness. Eventually you want to naturalize that state and this is done through mind-body training like Yoga.[/QUOTE]

Nice!

#4

This is a subject I have spent most of my life pondering and looking into. There are so many different points of view. Some people say you need to be fit and healthy, some say you need to set and achieve goals, some say you need wealth, and a family, and a house and car. Some say you need to be kind and giving… so where in does happiness lie?..

I think, it does come from within. If you do put you source of happiness exclusively into external sources(including having to do Yoga), it’s a very rough ride, with constant ups and downs. It’s like being tossed around in an ocean.

Self esteem also plays a role. I like the formula SELF ESTEEM = SUCCESS/EXPECTATION. This suggests you have two ways of increasing your self esteem. The hard way is to achieve all the goals you set (which I think is like having to feed an addiction), or lower your expectations. Psychologist Alfred Adler believes that goals arise from inadequacies,
insecurities and/or feelings of inferiority.

I really agree on the Buddhist idea of suffering. We all seem to suffer by a default desire to cling on to things. We attach to things for consolation. We are always not quite happy, and say “I’ll be happy once I do this” “I’ll be happy once I do that” or “I’m sad because Julie left me” “I’m sad because my boss is angry” You’ll never be happy, if you can’t learn to be happy now in the moment. Happiness isn’t something in the future. Happiness isn’t a reward for achieving all your goals. Happiness isn’t about accumulation of anything. It’s about stripping away attachments, desires, and ego grasping.

Anyway, so much to say on the topic, but I couldn’t possibly fit it all in on a thread like this.
This seems to work for me, because I’m seldom feeling down.

2 Likes
#5

If the greatest obstacle to happiness is to be found, go no further - just count the "I"s in any human talk. When that “I” dissolves and soul connection is established, there is symmetry in body, equipoise in emotions and tranquility in the intellect. Happiness simply sprouts from this; for no rhyme or reason.

But it is still “…ness”, an experienced happiness. Once we reach the twilight zone between dwelling in the causal body and transcending it, there are moments of bliss. When in bliss, one is unaware. When awareness returns, our concept and need for happiness is permanently altered. Friends, by patiently waiting for it and letting “I” completely dissolve, it happens.

#6

The pursuit of happiness is the source of all unhappiness.

Just be, enjoy the moment.

#7

[QUOTE=Surya Deva;34006]Happiness is nothing more than a state of mind. Anything that will faciliate a calm state of mind whether that be physical techniques, psychological techniques will create that state.

Many of us have a rough idea what faciliates this state. Some get it from doing a favourite activity, accomplishments, socialising with people they enjoy the company of, sex, food and drink, or going to particuar locations. Identify those main areas and do them more.

However, eventually you do not want to be dependent on anything outside of you to bring that state of happiness. Eventually you want to naturalize that state and this is done through mind-body training like Yoga.[/QUOTE]

I don’t think happiness can be created, because true happiness cannot be destroyed. That’s still in the realm of duality. The pleasure that comes from the things Surya Deva listed in paragraph two have nothing to do with true happiness. Those may all be joyful, pleasurable and fulfilling but that really has nothing to do with happiness. Doing those things more will not bring you happiness, only suffering.

Not even yoga can bring you happiness. It may act as a catalyst in which you realise what you have been doing to yourself that has inhibited your happiness. Yoga will teach you about yourself, and self knowledge is your best friend in your quest for happiness.

Like you said, happiness is within. It is that simple. But like Adyashanti says, just because it’s simple doesn’t mean it’s easy.

So, what do you need to be happy? Well, to realise that you don’t need anything to be happy. To realise that you are happy. The truth is often paradoxical.

I wish you, and everyone else who seeks happiness, all the best.

#8

[QUOTE=Atman;33999]

What are your thoughts and ideas about it? Being happy, so simple, and so difficult.[/QUOTE]

What you define as happiness? when one is smiling? or one is quite? or one is ecstatic? one is not in pain? one is thoughtless? (the last one probably my definition)

My mom says: to make one happy, we need to take everything ha has, and when return it to him, and he will be happy:)

Well… for some people six pack at the end of the week represent happiness:)

Personally… I do not know how to define my happiness. For me absolute happiness would be simultaneous happiness for all creatures in the world.

I do not think I was ever unhappy, though… Every unpleasant moment was viewed just as experience… as well as pleasant one…

#9

I read a great book by Edward De Bono called ‘The Happiness Purpose’ several years ago where he describes the process of happiness very well. Great read by a great mind.

http://www.edwdebono.com/debono/hp.htm

#10

[QUOTE=LaLuz;34202]The pursuit of happiness is the source of all unhappiness.

Just be, enjoy the moment.[/QUOTE]

I think you nailed it. The problem is always trying to find something to make us “happier”, material, spiritual, what ever it is. I think unfortunately, even Yoga falls into this commercial idea around finding your happiness. If you look for your happiness in sex or expensive cars or you look for it in your enlightenment or spiritual growth, it is still a search for something you haven’t lost.

Enjoy the moment, just be… (Great slogan for Nike Yoga for example hehehe)

#11

I’ve found that the more I’ve overcome limiting viewpoints and my issues, the more my heart chakra got cleared and the more I was able to open up to divine love and peace.

One thing I did was make a list of the things that troubled me throughout my life and let go of them as best as I could.

Another thing I did was pay attention to my dreams and found out about issues I missed on my list.

Another thing I did was make contact with my spirit guidance. For example, I used to have lower back, upper back, and neck pain. When I’d meditate, I found that my energy flow would get blocked right by where my pain is. I’d ask my spirit guidance what’s causing the block, it would show me a symbolic visual message that provided an explanation, I’d get clear on the issue, and the pain would go away.

#12

I feel it needs practice. I m a person suffering from anxiety and stress all my life. So i have to put lots energy to work on this. When i really cant handle, i would just say to myself, SO be it…and practise my mind thru meditation.
The more I can control my minds , the happier i become.

#13

And even though we r still a limited human, we will meet tragedy, disaster, we r precious created being in this unlimited universe-------when I think of this, i feel happy from deep heart.

#14

I have found that happiness and satisfaction go hand in hand.

For some people, seeing a beautiful flower or a child smiling is enough to make them happy. Others are not satisfied with life’s ‘simple pleasures’ and seek a more lasting form of happiness.

It all really depends on how happy you want to be and how long you want this happiness to last for.

According to the Hindu scriptures, any form of happiness that this world can provide is only Maya…an illusion. People strive for happiness outside themselves to compensate for what is lacking within. This kind of happiness is only temporary and usually leaves people dissatisfied and wanting more.

To some, having a lot of money makes them happy until they are broke.
To some, having sex makes them happy until they cannot perform any more.

True happiness comes from being centred within yourself and like YogiAdam said, self-esteem has a lot to do with it. Happiness also comes from the Grace of Spirit. This is something that cannot be taken away from you, it’s like who you really are.

I also like the saying

Just be, enjoy the moment.

Strive just to ‘be’ and happiness will follow.

#15

Who is happy?

From the teachings of Swami Sivananda Saraswati

A sage is happy. A yogi is happy. The person who has controlled the mind is happy.

Happiness comes from peace of mind. Peace of mind comes from a state of mind where there are no desires, no moha, infatuation, no vishaya or worldly pleasures, no thoughts of objects. You should forget all ideas of pleasure before you enter the domain of peace.

When there is desire in the mind, the mind is filled with rajas. It is in an agitated condition. It is restless and unpeaceful. It will be restless until the desired object is attained. When the object is attained and enjoyed, when the desire is gratified, the mind moves towards the inner soul. It ceases functioning. It is filled with sattwa. All thoughts subside for a split second; the mind rests in the soul within. The soul’s bliss is reflected in the intellect. The ignorant person thinks that he is receiving the happiness from the object; just as the dog which is biting a dry bone imagines that it is getting the pleasure from the blood oozing from the bone, whereas in reality, the blood comes from its own palate.

#16

Perspective to put things into Context which leads to Appreciation.

Create for yourself a bigger picture. This bigger picture can be literally whatever you want because God is infinite. If God is infinite it encompasses everything. Therefore every religion/belief system/bigger picture is correct. There is no absolute truth, they are all true, because it’s all there, because it’s infinite. So imagine whatever bigger picture you want, make it wondrous, and have this bigger, eternal, golden picture encompass you and your life.

Then everything is in context. And it leaves you free to truly appreciate everything, the good and the bad.

Happiness doesnt come from external stuff, it comes from your own perspective. And your own perspective is a choice.