What would happen though YA ? not that I would call you an idiot to your face or over an internet forum ,it is childish and bad manners and unlikely to lead to skillful communication .
[QUOTE=charliedharma;56053]What would happen though YA ? [/QUOTE]
I would point out that I was not an idiot 
In a nice way:D
SD, did you notice how my aggression was in RETALIATION to being called an idiot?? I don’t suppose that occurred to you at all?
But this is the crux of the problem exactly. It is never our fault, we can justify everything by blaming it on others. In your case you are justifying a threat of commiting physical violence against another person. If I ask the said person why they called you an idiot, they would be able to justify it. Similarly, people who have called me an extremist, terrorist and racist will justify their words.
Nobody has the right to criticise and complain about another, when they too suffer from the same problems they identify in them. You complain about aggression, and you threaten physical violence. Did you note that irony?
I was in a terrible mood tonight and treated my fiance in a manner she did not deserve. She called me out on it and it was amazing to observe my mind get defensive and try to get me to turn what happened onto her, to make it her fault. Luckily I had just enough presence to own my feelings and apologize to her for my actions, but that’s not always the case.
Being honest with ourselves and not projecting onto others is incredibly difficult. It is certainly something I struggle with. The one who is able to hold up that mirror in a manner where a person can finally be honest with themselves is given the title of guru for a reason. It’s a skill I have yet to master.
We can be as pretentious as we want, if we want to…I could give you an impression that I am fairly perfect and send sweetness and light posts all over the place…you would then have an impression that ooow, Kareng is very spiritual and ever so nice… instead many people are acting naturally and for that…I respect them and applaud them.
And for those who feel they are spiritually high up on the ladder, they should be the ones with the greatest understanding of the flaws of mankind.
The spiritual journey is a difficult one at times.
[QUOTE=David;55998]The other day I went to the doctors office and there were sick people in the waiting room. Then I went to the gym and there were overweight people. Then I went to AA and there were alcoholics.
But don’t worry, I filed complaints at each place so hopefully we’ll get this resolved real quick. If that doesn’t work, I’ll go to each place and scream at them for being sick, fat, and drunkards so I’m sure they’ll stop then so they can be just like me. Om shanti.[/QUOTE]
It is obvious that you and I do not agree on this since I have posted a similar complaint and PMed them to you more than once in the same tone as eddiespaghetti.
[QUOTE=David;56014]A trip to the doctor’s office brings some to a higher state of health.
A trip to the gym brings some to a higher state of fitness.
A trip to AA brings some to a higher state of sobriety.
A trip to yogaforums.com brings some to a higher state of consciousness.
To expect not to see people at every stage at each of those places is to have an unrealistic expectation. My job here is to create a space for people at every stage, and that includes tolerance and acceptance of many things that can be quite difficult to be accepting and tolerant of such as spiritual narcissism.[/QUOTE]
You are in fact comparing Apples to oranges and to go to the examples you used and expect to not see sick people, overweight people and alcoholics is unrealistic. However to go to a site dedicated to yoga and not expect hostility, aggressiveness, intolerance and the occasional slander is not realistic, And if anyone looks at the rules you have for your site it is not unrealistic for them to be more than a little surprised at the conduct that is found on this page.
Admittedly I did let myself get sucked into it but since have had the most offensive section blocked from my view and added those to my ignore list that I find perpetrate this most, and you know what that section is and who those posters are.
Now based on your rules the section in question is rule free and basically the wild west of web forums (similar to that of a forum called bullshido, which is VERY surprising to find on a site dedicated to yoga), and although I do not agree with this, it is your website and those are your rule so I had that section blocked.
However the problems of that section are bleeding over into other sections that the rule of your site apply to and although, a t times, the rules are enforced, there are other times, depending on who the offending poster is, that the rules seem to not apply to them at all.
Just my 2 cents, take it for what it is worth and do what you will
What if the members of this forum have a vote on which posts, threads, and posters
should be discarded ?
[QUOTE=eddiespaghetti;55976]found this site just a week ago thinking it might be a good place to share ideas and connect, a place to ask questions and learn, a yogic place filled with kind, positive people devoted to, and blessed with yoga, like me.
i found some of that, and for those responses I am grateful, yet i found much more ego, arrogance, attitude and close-mindedness than i dreamed would be possible here, and in only a weeks time…
amazing, in a yoga forum…
aloha, T[/QUOTE]
Stay out of the religion part and it generally isn’t a problem.
Being “nice” or “aggressive” is the guna, caused by the eyes of the beholder. I re-read this thread 2-3 times and sensed a conflict of perceptions that is so human. This is what I thought to myself:
“To judge others” is a human survival instinct. That’s why our senses are outward oriented. We can live only if we see things in black and white. We need to distinguish ‘this’ against ‘that’. ‘This AND that with all its variations’ is an overload on our thinking process and we are not designed to see more than 3 easy dimensions. Unknowingly, what I think I am becomes my baseline from where I judge the world and its objects, including people and wonder why they are not my copies.
A little walk on the spiritual path reveals to us these mind-games. The sharp definitions of things loosen up, judging recedes, not-so-obvious aspects show up, difference doesn’t threaten and we sense a fluid commonality among the apparent diversity. Reasons to retaliate give way to need to absorb. Tolerance doesn’t remain a charitable act, but a natural response.
eddiespaghetti,
I love to learn from everything and consider that as the real Yoga. This thread has been a good case-study.
[QUOTE=oak333;56081]What if the members of this forum have a vote on which posts, threads, and posters
should be discarded ?[/QUOTE]
What interests one may not interest another…
[QUOTE=Suhas Tambe;56085]Being “nice” or “aggressive” is the guna, caused by the eyes of the beholder. I re-read this thread 2-3 times and sensed a conflict of perceptions that is so human. This is what I thought to myself:
“To judge others” is a human survival instinct. That’s why our senses are outward oriented. We can live only if we see things in black and white. We need to distinguish ‘this’ against ‘that’. ‘This AND that with all its variations’ is an overload on our thinking process and we are not designed to see more than 3 easy dimensions. Unknowingly, what I think I am becomes my baseline from where I judge the world and its objects, including people and wonder why they are not my copies.
A little walk on the spiritual path reveals to us these mind-games. The sharp definitions of things loosen up, judging recedes, not-so-obvious aspects show up, difference doesn’t threaten and we sense a fluid commonality among the apparent diversity. Reasons to retaliate give way to need to absorb. Tolerance doesn’t remain a charitable act, but a natural response.
eddiespaghetti,
I love to learn from everything and consider that as the real Yoga. This thread has been a good case-study.[/QUOTE]
Thankyou Suhas…a very good reminder…guna
One thing I have learned from studying yoga is that when I find myself getting annoyed at a person or a situation, the most interesting thing is to witness [I]myself[/I] losing equanimity because of some outside source that I can’t control. This is the practice that matters. The outside source will continue to do whatever it wants, and we can’t control it.
We all have missteps. What good can come from saying “Bob, you did this to me once, so [I]you[/I] are the bad guy!” That is only perpetuating the negativity that we want to avoid. We can’t get rid of negativity by dropping it on others.
I’m not saying I’m perfect at this! But it’s an [I]idea[/I] and it’s one that I strive to be good at. I think it’s the only thing that can defuse this type of problem. And then when we are really good at it, in a different way we [I]can[/I] control those outside sources because we attract what we project.
[QUOTE=trinley;56090]One thing I have learned from studying yoga is that when I find myself getting annoyed at a person or a situation, the most interesting thing is to witness [I]myself[/I] losing equanimity because of some outside source that I can’t control. This is the practice that matters. The outside source will continue to do whatever it wants, and we can’t control it.
We all have missteps. What good can come from saying “Bob, you did this to me once, so [I]you[/I] are the bad guy!” That is only perpetuating the negativity that we want to avoid. We can’t get rid of negativity by dropping it on others.
I’m not saying I’m perfect at this! But it’s an [I]idea[/I] and it’s one that I strive to be good at. I think it’s the only thing that can defuse this type of problem. And then when we are really good at it, in a different way we [I]can[/I] control those outside sources because we attract what we project.[/QUOTE]
I strive to be patient and understanding…however, I still have…(right or wrong) a line that I clearly draw on certain issues.
The religion section used to irritate me…now it doesn’t…
[QUOTE=Yulaw;56073]Stuff[/QUOTE]
As I say in our forum rules:
Be Respectful: Would you show passion for a particular subject and debate with another that you were sitting near in a studio? Sure. But I would hope you would be respectful of that person. You wouldn’t attack them on a personal level and you might try to understand their position while presenting your own. Should you be disrespectful and/or attack someone, the following infractions may be applied but those are just general guidelines and [B]each case will be looked at independently.[/B]
I make a judgment call on every case and while you may not agree with it, I’m doing what I feel is best for this community and each person involved, in each instance. And you must also take into account that I am VERY tolerant. There is a line that can be crossed, but this community is run with as much tolerance and acceptance as I can muster. If that’s not the kind of community you want to be a part of, that’s understandable and there are others out there. Just as you should seek a yoga teacher that is best for you, you should do the same for your online yoga studio. Know that I do not plan to become less tolerant or accepting, if anything, I hope to become moreso.
I hesitate to jump in, but here goes…
I am in the process of starting a yoga studio of my own. Since I am not a teacher, this is quite an undertaking and requires the trust and input of my ‘competitors’. I have found that other yogis and yoga studio owners out here mirror many of the comments - positive and negative - in this thread.
I have encountered willingness to help, but also resentment. I have met yogis willing to share, and also a bit of ‘cattiness’. I have found some who feel as I do - that all yoga is good, and some who are entrenched in the ‘my yoga is the only true yoga, and your idea sucks wind’.
My conclusion: like myself, people who have embraced yoga as a way of life do so with a lot of passion. With that come all the emotions and ideas that are both good and bad (if we choose to judge). This forum is no different.
I will admit that I have been suckered into some religious and racist drama, and in my haste to defend, deny, and denounce, have found myself reaching into places I prefer to remain dormant. So, a learning experience for me and another reason to turn to yoga to find deeper meaning in my life and my relationships.
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[QUOTE=David;56100]As I say in our forum rules:
[/quote]
Thank You, I have read your rules before and if you go case by case then many of your rules are subjective which then makes them guidelines and not rules, especially the word “respectful” that one seems rather subjective, which I find interesting.
[QUOTE=David;56100]
I make a judgment call on every case and while you may not agree with it, I’m doing what I feel is best for this community and each person involved, in each instance. And you must also take into account that I am VERY tolerant. There is a line that can be crossed, but this community is run with as much tolerance and acceptance as I can muster. If that’s not the kind of community you want to be a part of, that’s understandable and there are others out there. Just as you should seek a yoga teacher that is best for you, you should do the same for your online yoga studio. Know that I do not plan to become less tolerant or accepting, if anything, I hope to become moreso.[/QUOTE]
In the cases many have complained about I do not agree, but that should come as no surprise to you
And here is another term we seem to disagree on as well… based on some of your responses to various threads on the forum?.what you are calling tolerant I would call favoritism but then we have already established things are subjective here so my definition and your do not have to be the same.
But you ultimately are correct, if I don’t like it I can leave… as can many others… and for the record I do not consider this or any other webforum as studio…it is a forum plain and simple… another term we seem to disagree on
David …each case will be looked at independently…
this is true …
[QUOTE=trinley;56090]
I’m not saying I’m perfect at this! But it’s an [I]idea[/I] and it’s one that I strive to be good at. I think it’s the only thing that can defuse this type of problem. And then when we are really good at it, in a different way we [I]can[/I] control those outside sources because we attract what we project.[/QUOTE]
Hi Trinley…I do see where you are going with this but the last sentence has to be incorrect?
What about the man who is mugged on his way home?..
The woman raped coming home from work?
The child who is molested by a maniac?
We cannot control anyone. We all live in hope…x
There is a slight difference between us who post on the Yoga forum, and those who do not. We are aware of Yoga teachings. We are aware of the following
- One should be a detached observer of the world
- One should not make value judgement
- One should be tolerant and compassionate towards others
- One should be grounded and centered
We see this repeated in this forum constantly by various people. Yes, it is ironic that the people who repeat these lines, often fail to practice this themselves. This is because attaining these qualities in Yoga are the final goal of Yoga, not the beginning. In the beginning one will only have a basic understanding of these qualities, but not practice them. The intermediate yogi will have an understanding of these qualities, and try to practice them in their life, but occasionally fail. The advanced Yogi will have understanding of these qualities and practice them as a way of life.
David’s analogy of finding sick people at the doctors surgery, finding obese people at the gym, and alocholics at AA meetings is very apt. Similarly in a space for Yoga you are going to find people who struggle with Yoga qualities, but the fact that they in the space implies they are striving to attain them. They just are just like you.
Some people like Yulaw and Flexpenguin(I do not hestitate from mentioning names, because when examples are given you have to give names) do not agree with David’s tolerance policy of having a diversity of views and diversity of various levels (beginner, intermediate, advanced). But they do not understand at one time they would have been on the lower rungs of the ladder(if they are not already) If they did not have a space like the one David provides, how could they have got higher?
I am glad I am not in a space created by Yulaw and Flexpenguin. This is because they are authoritarian, they expect you to conform to perfect standards(when they themselves are less than perfect) and no doubt the space they would create would be totaltiarian.
The problem with many “yogis” on this forum is they want a perfect space, with perfect yogis, but they themselves are less than perfect. They complain about imperfection, but what do they expect, when they themselves are imperfect.