Some misunderstand the nature of dharma (yogic not religious) thus believing it remains constant. Instead, one’s life purpose or mission changes over time. It is for this reason that svadhyaya (self-study of self-inquiry) is so crucial on the path.
I mention this because while one’s practice can, and often does, have an ebb and flow, and such a current can result in breaks (what you refer to as separation), it is also quite possible that your calling lies elsewhere. This could be for the moment or over the long term.
One of the lessons for me personally in the ebb and flow I mention above is how to be kind to myself around my practice (or lack thereof) and not to get caught up in the expectations of others or my own projections of who I [I]might[/I] be (instead of who I am).
There is also a tendency for practitioners who are only doing asana, doing the physical practice without yama and niyama, without meditation, without pranayama, to eventually “burn out”. This in much the same way any machine constantly run without a robust maintenance cycle would eventually stop. An asana-only practice may initially (10 years) feel like enough or plenty … but over time it’s hollowness is revealed and the absence of the supporting limbs, the framing, the foundation, do matter.
Finally, there are times in one’s practice where inspiration from a teacher of merit is incredibly helpful in finding dark corners, illuminating them, and rekindling the embers of a practice fire that once burned brightly. The term guru literally means remover of darkness and so I’m alluding to something more than a teacher/instructor but not at all alluding to someone who makes you a serf to their lordship. Such a person is tough to find. But perhaps some classes with some others might be “for you”.
It is what Patanjali’s refers to as “discernment” that we cultivate in order to suss out which of the above are true for us (or not at all true for us). I hope something here is helpful for you in the exploration that lies ahead.
gordon
