You are That (Tat Tvam Asi)

When time stops
and the world fades away
The senses collapse
and the ropes begin to fray
The heat of knowing
gradually growing
burns through the bonds
that lead me astray

As the waves flow through me
one after one
Even though I’d thought one goes blind
staring into the sun
All words escape me
and shrinks the thinking mind
As the life-force rises
on its ecstatic run
The sun shines brightly
and my blind eyes see
finally that I am
That Eternity

I argue and fight
and flame and flaunt my might
but when I look deep
deep inside the chasm
there is but emptiness
as I deal with it’s dying spasm
I am dying yet I live
because I’m not whom I see
finally I am – That Eternity

But it took a long time
Took far too long to break free
Break free of those bonds
that were biting into me
Immersed in that stillness
the emptiness of bliss
Breaking through that miasma of myself
but a modicum of peace
The dams finally gave out
and like a raging stream
the light suddenly rushed in
drowning my indignant scream

When I looked up again
where had I gone?
I was but nothing
yet was every one
I was in everything
and everything was part of me
And so I knew I am that Eternity

It wasn’t easy
as the observed said –
who is it that’s asking me
to mend my ways?
If you are not me
and I am not you
who are you then
and who am I too?
What is this Eternity that you bring forth…
Do you even have a clue?

Then Aham Brahmasmi
and Tat tvam asi
rang silently in my ears
deafening me
It slowly unfolded
to my confounded wit
I had to learn to sit back
and learn when to quit

Trying so frantically
to not try so hard
I am but a paradox
of my dualistic heart
And so when the full becomes empty
and the emptiness fills me
I become that one – That Eternity.

This was previously published at The Medha Journal