A Lesson in Reducing Ego

Friends, here is an account of a soul-touching human interaction. It was sent to me by an old time friend from my engineering days at IIT Kharagpur.
Regards, Anand

THE SALES GIRL IN CHENNAI “GIRI STORE” THROUGH THE EYES OF WASHINGTON POST

After the Temple Darshan at the Kapaleeswarar Koil at Mylapore, we entered the “Giri Trading” stores and started searching for this Book on “Thatva Bodha”.

We found many people buying various Books and CDs and from their smart walks and accumulation of CDs from Abhang to Aruna Sairam and Bhajans to Bombay Jaishree, sent a nice feeling in us, that we have come to the right place indeed.

I was looking for this Book while my wife started collecting Bharathiar’s songs and MS’s Music. I searched everywhere for this Book.

There was this Girl, standing next to the Cashier, sincerely watching all our movements - a dark complexioned Girl, should be from a nearby Village, might be 17 or 18, should not have crossed 8th Std., might be out of poverty she is here… all my Journalist’s brain unnecessarily calculated about this Gullible Girl…and tho’ she was repeatedly watching me, I ignored her and started searching for “Thathva Bodha”

I saw many books from “Sandhya Vandanam” to Swami VIvekananda’s “Chicago Speech” but having spent a good 40 minutes. I looked at her, she also looked at me curiously.

I did not asked her, knowing fully well that such a girl cannot have any idea of anything, leave alone “Thathva Bodah”

“Sir, may I help you?” (in Tamil)

"Yes. I am looking for ‘Thatva Bodha’ "

"Sanskrit Text or English/Sanskrit?"
God…she knows.

“Sanskrit & English”

“Do you like to have the Publication from Chinmaya Mission or Indu Publications or by Ramakrishna Mutt?”

“I dont know…I just want to only Learn you see…I dont really know indeed”

“Do you read Tamil Sir?”

"Yes I am a Tamilian " (thinking to myself how most of my life time I like to act in most other places that I am not)

“Then Sir, you can take this”…she ran to the shelf where I had searched for 30 minutes, removed the books in the front and came out with a Book in Tamil. “This one in Tamil by N.Sivaraman by Indu Publications infact is simple and wonderfull. You have the Sanskrit Text too inside.”

My God! Why did I under estimate such a Genius. Just because of my Arrogance that I am an NRI. Or Just because I presumed such a Black, dark complexioned, gullible girl, who would have come for this job out of absolute poverty, wouldn’t have any idea of “Thatva Bodha”.

I decided to change my attitude and realized that I am absolutely an ‘Idiot’ at this moment in front of this wonderful girl and submitted myself in all humility. “Madam, I really don’t have any idea of even who wrote ‘Thatva Bodha’ till yesterday. I just attended a lecture on this subject and was fascinated by the lecture and hence…”

“Did you attend Goda Venkateswara Sastri’s lecture in Bharathiya Vidya Bhavan?” “Oh God. How did you know?”

“He regularly takes classes on such subjects. In fact he is one of the best Sir, in the city on such subjects.”

“You are interested in such subjects?”

“Yes Sir, I read a lot about Swami Vivekananda and Ramakrishna and Thathva Bodha incidentally is my favorite Subject”

“You mean to say you have read Thatva Bodha?” “I have read this one by Sivaraman and once you read it you won’t feel like keeping that book on the table at all.”

“Why what is so great about this Book?”

“Sir,you must be joking that you don’t know about ‘Thatva Bodha’.”

“Really I accept my ignorance.”

My wife was watching from the corner, admiring all her CD collections.

“Sir,according to me if you read this it gives the entire Vedanthic Saramsam and to say it in-one-word you become a bit more humble in life, leaving Ahamkaram once for all.”

“Is it a fact that reading this simple book one would get so humble?”

“Of course one should be involved totally into the text. Needs a lot of conviction and devotion.”

My wife joined the conversation and she felt this girl is indeed a very very talented intelligent girl, so she told me “Why don’t you interview her for Washington Post. Why at all you should think of Paris Hilton?”

I also felt that I owe something to her… So I asked her whether she can spare sometime for an interview.

She politely refused saying “My boss is to give me permission. Besides many people are looking for guidance like you and hence I have to go.”

“What is your name?”

“Kalaivani”

My wife’s admiration for her devotion to duty and her total involvement in her work, made her go direct to the Boss “Sir,that girl Kalaivani.”

“Yes very hard working Girl.”

“This is my husband Viswanath.”

“Nice meeting you Sir”

“He is the Senior Journalist in Washington Post.”

The Boss stood up." Washington Post?"

“Yes Sir. I would like to interview this girl. I am highly impressed with her ethics.”

Boss called her. Time was 5:45 Pm. “Kalaivani, they have come all the way from USA , they would like to spend some time with you. Can you?”

“Sir, there are so many customers waiting for some guidance. it is a rush time. If they can come again tomorrow.”

“OK. I can come again tomorrow.”

I again came next day morning leaving all my appointments with ‘Times of India’ and Madras Press Club just to see this girl. It was no rush hour. My wife and myself found out.

Kalaivani is from a small village near Arcot. She has 5 sisters, she being is the eldest. Her father was a drunkard and he died a few years ago caring for none of them. Her mother used to work as a helper in Masonry and passed away two years back, leaving all the 6 on the streets.

This girl who had completed her 9th std decided to search for a job and ‘Giri Trading’ came forward to help her out. She brought all her 5 sisters with her and with her meagre salary she is taking care of them. All the 5 sisters are going to a nearby Chennai Corporation School .

“Kalaivani. But when did you get this enthusiasm to learn about ‘Thatva Bodha’?”

“Sir after joining here, I decided that the best way to be of help to the customers is to know the Subject first. I took small Books on Ramana, Ramakrishna, Swami Vivekananda and started reading. I found the subject so fascinating…I decided to read other books in Tamil like Bhagavad Gita, and Viveka Choodamani. Thats how…”

“What is your salary?”

“Rs 2500, Sir.”

“Are you able to manage all your expenses with the 5 sisters?”

“Not at all Sir, but the Boss helps me a lot.”

“What is your aim in Life ?”

“I want all my sisters to get education. Then they would easily get employment is it not Sir?”

“If I give monthly Rs 10,000 for meeting all your expenses, would that suffice?”

“It is indeed too much, but I would accept it only through my Boss.”

We took her to the Boss and told him that we would like to send Rs.10,000 every month so that all her sisters’ education would be completed.

The Boss said “She deserves it Sir. You can trust me - I will hand over the amount to her every month or alternately you can open an account in her name and start transferring to the account.”

My friend John Paul, who is the Regional Manager of ‘Times of India’ had also come with me. He said “You have done a good thing.”

My wife said “I pray that ‘Karpagambal’ helps Kalaivani to become an expert in ‘Vedantha’ and start giving lectures in USA . We can arrange for her lectures.”

We left wonder struck! If we go into the interiors of India , how many more ‘Jewels’ like Kalaivani can be found!!

I really became humbled!

Thanking for posting this , very life affirming and humbling .

Your words tugged at my heart. and that is true.

What folly is predjudice and misconception!

Thanks for sharing.

Anand,

It did touch my heart. And then, I remembered a few such individuals. Some of the greatest [I]atmic[/I] smiles I have seen on the wrinkled faces of the [I]warkaris[/I] and some of the most enlightened people in their 2-room palaces.

On the threads here, questions are asked about enlightenment and verbose debates take place turning into battlefields. We need to wait till some such humbling experience comes their way.

The veil of humbleness is in fact far more dangerous than it’s polar opposite. One should not assume that actions which appear to be outwardly “humble” are in fact humble, because whether one is acting in a way which appears to be humble or arrogant - as long as there is that kind of action which arises out of entanglement, it is basically egoistic. A subtle ego tends to be far more of a source of suffering than one which is more gross simply because it is far more difficult to detect. And because everybody appreciates humbleness, one will be a direct witness to the admiration of others which is capable of nourishing one’s ego a million times fold. Particularly when humbleness is seen by some to be a “superior” spiritual quality, then it becomes part of one’s desire to affirm oneself as superior to others - that you are so spiritual and others are just mundane and ordinary.

A Buddha is neither entangled in humbleness, nor it’s polar opposite. If humbleness arises, remain a witness. If it’s opposite arises, remain a witness. Heaven or hell, pleasure or pain, keep the stream of awareness moving without abiding anywhere. Moving beyond the material, and the dragon ascends to the highest heaven. Moving beyond the spiritual, and the dragon pierces through even the highest heaven.

I have figured you out, Amir. Every thread appears to you as a new blank wall on which you scribble your graffiti. To you, it’s like laying claim to your turf, but to others it’s just an eyesore.

Nice story by the way. Very generous of that man to help the girl and her sisters.

Member was warned for this post- Forum Admin - 8:34pm on 04/25/11

@David,

Sorry, I’m just sick and tired of seeing Amir’s drivel, which he tries to pass off as wisdom on every thread.

Anand, thank you for posting and sharing this wonderful article. Yes, Kalaivani is a tower of strength with great positive attitude to life.

However, Amir seems to turn the positive energy into a negative one.

Humbleness can not be a veil to self-realization. If an ego adopts fake humbleness to show superior spirituality, that is the ego ignorance to Self, and ultimately will suffer its own downfall. On the contrary, if an ego is been humbled, that sure is a good direction to spiritual growth.

Namaste

[QUOTE=AmirMourad;58456]The veil of humbleness is in fact far more dangerous than it’s polar opposite. One should not assume that actions which appear to be outwardly “humble” are in fact humble, because whether one is acting in a way which appears to be humble or arrogant - as long as there is that kind of action which arises out of entanglement, it is basically egoistic. A subtle ego tends to be far more of a source of suffering than one which is more gross simply because it is far more difficult to detect. And because everybody appreciates humbleness, one will be a direct witness to the admiration of others which is capable of nourishing one’s ego a million times fold. Particularly when humbleness is seen by some to be a “superior” spiritual quality, then it becomes part of one’s desire to affirm oneself as superior to others - that you are so spiritual and others are just mundane and ordinary.

A Buddha is neither entangled in humbleness, nor it’s polar opposite. If humbleness arises, remain a witness. If it’s opposite arises, remain a witness. Heaven or hell, pleasure or pain, keep the stream of awareness moving without abiding anywhere. Moving beyond the material, and the dragon ascends to the highest heaven. Moving beyond the spiritual, and the dragon pierces through even the highest heaven.[/QUOTE]

Did you actually read the story posted?

Asuri,

“Every thread appears to you as a new blank wall on which you scribble your graffiti. To you, it’s like laying claim to your turf, but to others it’s just an eyesore.”

Then you can continue on your way, the message is not for you. Otherwise, if you are receptive, perhaps there is a possibility of insight arising.

antaaryahh,

“Humbleness can not be a veil to self-realization.”

Of course, if it is authentic.

“On the contrary, if an ego is been humbled”

The ego can never be humbled. Either one you are identified with it or remain a witnessing consciousness.

“However, Amir seems to turn the positive energy into a negative one”

As long has the veil of ignorance has not been dissolved, then whether “positive” or “negative”, one is bound to turn everything into an obstacle for one’s liberation.

Surya,

“Did you actually read the story posted?”

Yes. And I responded to it as well.

hello Anand,
This is really a touching story. There is a good description of changing the attitude towards someone.It is possible only when someone don’t think about his Ego and accepts the reality.

Thanks…

[QUOTE=AmirMourad;58539]The ego can never be humbled. .[/QUOTE]

Ego being prakriti (nature), is made up of the 3 gunas, and gunas are subjected to continuous changes. Humbleness is the quality of satvic guna, arrogance is the quality of rajas guna. Satvic is the place where one want to be at, it is the “launching pad” to transform the mind.

In the practice of yoga, ego/mind is transformed through continuous practice (abhyāsa) and non-attachment (vairāgya). As stated in sutra 1.12:

[B]अभ्यासवैराग्याभ्यां तन्निरोधः[/B][B]
abhyāsavairāgyābhyāṁ tannirodhaḥ[/B]

The statement of “ego can never be humbled” is not in line with the teaching of yoga sutra.

Namaste

Antaraayah,

It seems that you are not capable of making even a single statement which arises out of your own authentic insight. Neither do you have any understanding of the yoga sutras, otherwise it would have been impossible to state such a thing. Since you have been speaking in terms of the Yoga Sutras, then one should remember that one of the most basic insights of Patanjali is that both to have attraction towards or aversion from anything that arises in the field of your experience is amongst the most blinding forces for one’s liberation. They are two amongst the five kleshas that he has mentioned. Besides being a slave to your attractions and aversions, he has also mentioned egotism and has defined egotism generally as mistaking what is seen for the Seer himself. The moment you start becoming identified with whatever arises in your experience, whether it be love, hate, anger, fear, or just about anything whatsoever - you have already mistaken the Seer for the seen. Humbleness is not an exception, even in the midst of sensations of “humbleness”, you remain a witness. That is the whole spirit of meditation - to keep a stream of awareness moving which is not abiding anywhere, in humbleness or otherwise. And there are many who have taken humbleness and have worn it as a mask over their true face - thinking they have come to a great spiritual state. Outwardly they appear humble, but inwardly their ego is tremendously nourished by the idea of being humble.

“Ego being prakriti (nature), is made up of the 3 gunas”

That is fine, but you are not your ego.

"In the practice of yoga, ego/mind is transformed through continuous practice (abhyāsa) and non-attachment (vairāgya). As stated in sutra 1.12:

अभ्यासवैराग्याभ्यां तन्निरोधः
abhyāsavairāgyābhyāṁ tannirodhaḥ"

Leave Patanjali and his Yoga Sutras alone, they do not give your voice any seal of approval.Start coming to know yourself, through and through. Even if you read a thousand and one scriptures and other books, it is not going to be of any help as far as seeing into your own nature is concerned.

Amir,

I stand by my statements. It is up to the readers if they believe your version of the yoga sutra, where ego cannot be humbled.

Namaste

Amir,
A rare moment that you have gone overboard. You are using a missile to kill a fly creating only collateral damage.

You have missed the point. Kalaivani is not aware of being humble. And is not a spiritual aspirant either. She considers it her duty to be well-read to be able to serve better.

Who is the audience of your post? If your post is for educating the seekers in the perils of attraction and repulsion it perhaps belongs to another thread. For, in this thread, we are celebrating her Karmayoga, being unconcerned about reward (a Washington Post interview) and a very sensitive and sensible response of Anand’s friend whose actions reflect a real self-realization and a transformation. Neither Kalaivani nor the gentleman had any need to look humble.