Dear Techne,
Yes that is a very good representation in my vision.
The most important aspect of the realization you described above, is that we often forget to notice what we are when we are doing these practices out of a belief that it will gain us something. That’s like trying to wake up from a dream by studying books that further describe that dream. We then start practicing dream-meditation so we can experience altered states of dream-substance. but all of that will not wake us up by itself. Dream is just dream no matter in what form or state it is expressed.
Sooner or later it may lead you to a point in which you realize that all effort is futile and you might have some sort of breakdown after which you will see the simplicity of truth, but that can happen also without believing for decades in the journey of effort and achievement. That freedom can happen to you right now as you start to realize more and more that nothing ever escapes awareness. All in included. There has never been an object, state of mind, thought or other experience that was separate from awareness. You were always there seeing everything. Like the sleeping dream never happened outside of your mind.
[U]Let me state something significant now which may help you to realize the always present freedom of awareness in your direct experience:[/U]
[I]
Every single one of your experiences starts in and with awareness.
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You can start seeing this easily for yourself. Every single thought, emotion and appearance, starts with and within awareness. It can never be any other way.
[U]Let’s take the example of embarking on a journey of Yoga.[/U] What happens is that we start to project certain ideas that basically say:
[I]“Pure Awareness is over there somewhere on the other side to reach. I am here on this side. In between are many obstacles I must cross, alter and control in order to reach the other end of the line, where awareness is.”[/I]
Whenever you feel such thoughts and beliefs arise in you, ask yourself this: [I]What is it[/I] that makes you able to experience the fact that you exist in the first place? What is it that allows you to know the path of yoga, to study, read and listen to teachings lecturing about yoga, reflect on it, decide to take that path, decide to do something to reach it? How can you have the thought that says : “Oh I need to be more aware, I need to meditate more, do more of this and that, or else I won’t reach awareness!”
That very thought appears right here in perfectly pure awareness!
What allows you to know these thoughts, what sees them? So you see even when we feel immense struggle and frustration because we feel we are lacking something and need to do more to find that pure godliness, that entire feeling with all its thoughts and stories simply appears and disappears within your knowing awareness!
Ask yourself these questions a few times and you will have to come to the conclusion that that very notion, idea of needing to do something in order to become awareness, is presenting itself within awareness!!
So what is there to find if all our efforts to finding something are already happening within that which we try to find and is already here throughout our every effort to reach somewhere?
[U]Awareness is here already and there are no obstacles on your way.[/U] The only ‘obstacle’ one could say that limits our experience of our true nature, is that we believe in this idea, this notion of what we are and what we need to do about it in order to reach something. That’s why I say we should stop believing in all our concepts and beliefs and notions just for a moment. Again and again throughout our days. Just noticing all these thoughts and realizing that they present themselves in awareness right now. Skipping not one single day of recognizing that awareness is already here.
Re-establish this connection, this recognition that [I]all we truly wish to find is already here trying to find itself through belief in thoughts and concepts.[/I] In fact, [I]that which we desire to find, is that which starts thinking it should seek itself out[/I]. It all happens withinn itself, never affecting its space. Like planets do not affect the space in which it arises, exists and dissolves.
All appearances arise and dissolve in awareness, it’s as simple and truthful as that. Just shift your recognition from the [I]contents[/I] of your experiences to the recognition of [I]that which is aware of them[/I].
[U]So every time you notice that you feel bad because you don’t feel complete yet[/U] and you feel you have to do something about it in order to get there, spontaneously see right there and then, that that which your thoughts make you seek out, is right here knowing these thoughts and seeing them arise and dissolve back into it’s own spaciousness.
Yoga is not something we reach at the end of a line, it is not something we create by human effort. It is that which includes and surrounds all human effort. Awareness is something that is always here, regardless of what we do or think in order to create or realize such a state. Awareness is that which sees all of those states. And it’s power to see depression is just as clear and simple as its power to see a state of bliss/ananda samadhi. There only seems to be a difference between depression and bliss [I]in the thought[/I] that says: “There is a difference.” If you [U]simply stop believing[/U] in that notion/idea and simply see that it is a thought arising and going within your already restful presence of awareness, you will see that freedom is equally present in and as depression as it is in and as bliss and ecstasy.
Love,
B.