Hi,
For the past few months I have become very lonely. I had 2 friends but due to some unavoidable circumstances I no longer talk to them.
I am maintaining my regular routine of asanas & pranayamas but that takes not more than one hour a day.
How can I use yoga to minimize my loneliness ?
TIA
Hi om_namah_shivay,
loneliness has not much to do with the amount of people you talk to or are surrounded by, it has more to do with being afraid of talking to people.
Yoga (asanas, some meditation) helped me with my insecurities a lot, but I seem to be much more of a beginner than you, I cannot give you useful advice, I am afraid.
Would you like to tell us more about those unavoidable circumstances with your two friends?
[QUOTE=mukimuki;70545]Hi om_namah_shivay,
loneliness has not much to do with the amount of people you talk to or are surrounded by, it has more to do with being afraid of talking to people.
Yoga (asanas, some meditation) helped me with my insecurities a lot, but I seem to be much more of a beginner than you, I cannot give you useful advice, I am afraid.
Would you like to tell us more about those unavoidable circumstances with your two friends?[/QUOTE]
Thanks for your reply. Those two cheated by maintaining terms with my enemies. I came to know about this later.
[QUOTE=om_namah_shivay;70537]Hi,
For the past few months I have become very lonely. I had 2 friends but due to some unavoidable circumstances I no longer talk to them.
I am maintaining my regular routine of asanas & pranayamas but that takes not more than one hour a day.
How can I use yoga to minimize my loneliness ?
TIA[/QUOTE]
Your efforts to sort out the Maya of loneliness may best be resolved in Jy?na yoga.
Loneliness has its origin in the concept of separation.
Asana may churn up things to be looked at and processed and pranayama may ease the magnitude of the churning or it’s residue.
However you’re asking about Yoga (right?) and that is a far more vast practice than these two slivers mentioned above. Yoga is a way of living. If that is the question, then certainly Yoga can support a student willing to grow and change in terms of these feelings (and others) which may come forth in the human experience.
gordon
[QUOTE=InnerAthlete;70570]Loneliness has its origin in the concept of separation.
Asana may churn up things to be looked at and processed and pranayama may ease the magnitude of the churning or it’s residue.
However you’re asking about Yoga (right?) and that is a far more vast practice than these two slivers mentioned above. Yoga is a way of living. If that is the question, then certainly Yoga can support a student willing to grow and change in terms of these feelings (and others) which may come forth in the human experience.
gordon[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=ray_killeen;70569]Your efforts to sort out the Maya of loneliness may best be resolved in Jy?na yoga.[/QUOTE]
Is that possible by studying online material ?
My answer is not a very “deep” one here, but it seems you enjoy your practice at home. Have you considered going to a class with other students so maybe you can make some new friends with similar interests?
[QUOTE=Anamaya Retreats;70614]My answer is not a very “deep” one here, but it seems you enjoy your practice at home. Have you considered going to a class with other students so maybe you can make some new friends with similar interests?[/QUOTE]
Your answer is very sensible but there are hardly any good Yoga training centre in my locality.
cant you go places and find some like minded friends? maybe someone is as lonley as you are out there…looking for a friend 
My dear friend, your friend is not with, but within you. Yoga brings about that soul connection. Then you will be amazed to witness this kindest, warmest and closest friend as truly yours, never to leave. Except when you do.
True!
It looks to me as if you are expelling people from your life and then you ask for some exercises to get rid of that lonely feeling afterwards.
It can happen, that people do something so bad that it just does not make sense to continue a relationship with them. But my experience tells me that when I felt lonely a lot (which is not ‘being alone’), I was prone to be radical with my friends and separated them from me for every fart Understanding them, being mindful and not so proud or attached any more made me a lot less scared to let new people in my life.
Please ask yourself, why you have enemies? Can you understand their point of view? Why is it so bad that your former friends went ‘over’ to them? Do you understand their point of view? Have you never done anything like that?
All the best to you!
[QUOTE=mukimuki;70643]It looks to me as if you are expelling people from your life and then you ask for some exercises to get rid of that lonely feeling afterwards.
It can happen, that people do something so bad that it just does not make sense to continue a relationship with them. But my experience tells me that when I felt lonely a lot (which is not ‘being alone’), I was prone to be radical with my friends and separated them from me for every fart Understanding them, being mindful and not so proud or attached any more made me a lot less scared to let new people in my life.
Please ask yourself, why you have enemies? Can you understand their point of view? Why is it so bad that your former friends went ‘over’ to them? Do you understand their point of view? Have you never done anything like that?
All the best to you![/QUOTE]
Why my friends went over to them is a mystery to me too. May it has something to do with my being a straight talker. But it was a both sided thing. They told harsh words to me too but I didn’t join their enemies. As you said, sometimes its better to be alone rather than with some back stabbers. I am open to new friendships but I am not finding anyone to make friends with. I think others are correct when they say I need to join a group.
I was thinking of doing my yoga practise twice instead of once but I don’t know if that will do any good.
I am lonely too.
I go out at least 3 times a week(and sometimes 4) and see people regularly. I have loads of friends who I see regularly for hours. In the past I was member of several clubs and meet up groups, I would be out the whole week.
Yet I am still lonely.
Why? Well, because when they are not with me I feel lonely again. The fact is your friends cannot always be with you. So you only have you and yourself in those times. But you hate the company of yourself, don’t you? If not meeting with others, you try to entertain yourself by watching a movie, surfing the web, reading a book, listening to music or masturbating. Anything to get away from being with yourself. The sad fact is you will always have to return to yourself in the end after everything is over.
If you go out regularly enough you will start to feel loneliness even when you’re with your friends. I can’t help but feel that I am being somewhat inauthentic to my self when I am with others(Sartre famously put it, “Hell is other people”) I am having to act too much. After a while I get bored of others. I just want to leave and go back home.
In other words this loneliness is inescapable. It is something we all have to face in the end. In Yoga when you are able to finally accept it you have achieved liberation - kalivalya(aloneness) at this stage you are completely self-sufficient. Nothing or nobody else is needed to fulfill you.
Try to embrace your loneliness. Spend time just sitting with yourself, doing nothing else, just being with yourself. Have formal silent meditation sittings and silent periods in your day. The more you do it, the more you will be at ease with just being with yourself.
[QUOTE=om_namah_shivay;70577]Is that possible by studying online material ?[/QUOTE]
Yes Jnana Yoga info can be found online as well as in books.
I feel lonely, separate, afraid, inferior, unworthy, unlovable, on and on from every emotion that can be generated from the 7 billion human inhabitants of planet earth.
I feel befriended, united, brave, superior, deserving, lovable, on and on from every emotion that can be generated from the 7 billion human inhabitants of planet earth.
Although both statements are opposites neither has value when seeking truth, this type conceptual nonsense falls into the category of ?judgment? arising from the minds filter ?ego? i.e. I?m so special in a ?sad kind of way? or a ?cheerful kind of way?, both obstruct reality, lead to suffering. The yogic science?s, resulting from thousands upon thousands of year?s human trial and error, is an attempt at expansion of consciousness towards clarity, a means to dissolve veils of Maya, I recommend yoga because the side effects are usually pleasant for the most part and it never asks one to believe, rather experience directly.
[QUOTE=Surya Deva;70669]I am lonely too.
I go out at least 3 times a week(and sometimes 4) and see people regularly. I have loads of friends who I see regularly for hours. In the past I was member of several clubs and meet up groups, I would be out the whole week.
Yet I am still lonely.
Why? Well, because when they are not with me I feel lonely again. The fact is your friends cannot always be with you. So you only have you and yourself in those times. But you hate the company of yourself, don’t you? If not meeting with others, you try to entertain yourself by watching a movie, surfing the web, reading a book, listening to music or masturbating. Anything to get away from being with yourself. The sad fact is you will always have to return to yourself in the end after everything is over.
If you go out regularly enough you will start to feel loneliness even when you’re with your friends. I can’t help but feel that I am being somewhat inauthentic to my self when I am with others(Sartre famously put it, “Hell is other people”) I am having to act too much. After a while I get bored of others. I just want to leave and go back home.
In other words this loneliness is inescapable. It is something we all have to face in the end. In Yoga when you are able to finally accept it you have achieved liberation - kalivalya(aloneness) at this stage you are completely self-sufficient. Nothing or nobody else is needed to fulfill you.
Try to embrace your loneliness. Spend time just sitting with yourself, doing nothing else, just being with yourself. Have formal silent meditation sittings and silent periods in your day. The more you do it, the more you will be at ease with just being with yourself.[/QUOTE]
To develop this kind of loneliness that will lead to kaivalya - the ultimate goal of all Yogas, I personally feel that Bhakti yoga is the easiest approach. By memorizing and chanting divine slokas, I definitely feel more achieved and contented in ?Self? than doing 50 poses of Hatha Yoga and a good count of pranayamas. You can spend hours just like that in solitude merely by chanting slokas.
Mistakenly, the prevalent notion about Yoga in these days is bending backward and forward and taking couple of deep cool breath. This will lead to more and more socializing only and not to kaivalya.
In all kinds of Yoga, one focuses their mind on only one thing. In Karma Yoga, dedicating yourself to selfless service; in Bhakti Yoga dedicating yourself to your chosen deity(ishta devata) and in Hatha Yoga, dedicating yourself to physical practices. In Jnana Yoga dedicating yourself to philosophy.
In all these Yogas the mind is still given some activity to keep it busy, and this is why it very easy to slip into the activity itself for its own sake, rather than as a means to an end. In Karma the fear is to get too emotionally attached(like Mother Terresa) In Bhakti Yoga the fear is to fall into fanatical blind faith and superstition(like most religions) in Hatha Yoga the fear is too become obsessed with the body(like most Yoga practitioners today) In Jnana Yoga the fear is too become too intellectual and bookish.
To avoid these pitfalls the Yoga of meditation(Raja Yoga) is the easiest and fastest way. Here there is no activity, but rather emphasis on non activity. Simply by sitting in silence and just watching yourself and allowing yourself to go deeper and deeper into yourself, not identifying with anything, just remaining a detached observer. The more and more one practices this, the more comfortable they will become in being with themselves. Like the Buddha. This would strike most people as boring, because they need some kind of mental activity to keep them entertained, hence why the other kinds of yogas are very popular.
Surya,
Where are you now? Are you back in England or still in Himalayas? I am missing your diary on Himalaya Dharshan 
Back home in England, where I belong 