[QUOTE=mayoga;32724]What about being direct with this person, and tell them what is on your mind? They are probably not aware how much their behaviour affect people. And you owe it to yourself to be kind to you.[/QUOTE]
This is even better.
I feel I should echo an earlier point… The only way to develop patience is with people who force you to practice patience. This person is your patience guru. You have a rare and valuable opportunity to practice patience, so you should use it. If this example you have given, isn’t an example of an opportunity for spiritual development, then what is? When you here gurus talk about learning to love others, THIS is what they are talking about. Generosity isn’t giving something you no longer need to someone you love, it’s giving something you value to somebody you don’t care for. I hope this makes sense.
Honesty and/or directness is a fair option in some circumstances if that is possible…
Just being straight up with them.
[QUOTE=YogiAdam;32749]The only way to develop patience is with people who force you to practice patience. [/QUOTE]
I agree it is one of the ways to develop patience. I also feel that it’s an opportunity to practice honesty with yourself and those around you; especially if the situation goes on and on. There will always be other ways to test and practice your patience, without being a constant occurrence.
[QUOTE=core789;32750]Honesty and/or directness is a fair option in some circumstances if that is possible…
Just being straight up with them.[/QUOTE] I think so.
[QUOTE=CityMonk;31865]
I try to train myself to[U] be patient and accept them[/U] as they are.
What do you think?
[/QUOTE]
If you want to try to be patient and accept them, then that’s what you need to do.
Don’t mistake being impatient for being honest. So many people ‘tell it like it is’ and are nasty toward others and say that they are just being honest, trying to pass their negative behavior off as an act of moral. It’s cheap and spiritually lazy.
This is an opportunity, if your not ready on a spiritual level to take advantage of this opportunity then try again at your next opportunity, but don’t let weak willed people tell you to give up on the opportunity so quickly.
This really is a no brainer.
[QUOTE=YogiAdam;32755]If you want to try to be patient and accept them, then that’s what you need to do.
Don’t mistake being impatient for being honest. So many people ‘tell it like it is’ and are nasty toward others and say that they are just being honest, trying to pass their negative behavior off as an act of moral. It’s cheap and spiritually lazy.
This is an opportunity, if your not ready on a spiritual level to take advantage of this opportunity then try again at your next opportunity, but don’t let weak willed people tell you to give up on the opportunity so quickly.
This really is a no brainer.[/QUOTE]
The exterior is a reflection of the interior: We are all responsible of situations we find ourselves in. It’s morally rewarding to accept and acknowledge, but I feel it’s Devine to grow as well. And to grow you need to get out of your ‘uncomfortable comfortable’ zone.
There is a difference between dropping an egg to a table and placing the same egg to the same table. We know what will happen to the dropping bit: the egg will break and splatter.
But if we place the egg down with care it will stay intact. Telling as it is doesn’t need to be nasty. Quite the contrary. Honesty can be kind, bonding and intelligent. It’s intention and delivery that makes the difference.
I guess it all depends on what you desire to achieve.
If you want to develop your patience and come across as kind and open hearted like the Dalai Lama, then be kind to this person.
If your not fussed on developing your patience and want to come across as cranky and short tempered like BKS Iyengar, then tell them they annoy you. Problem solved.
In executing anything the outcome will be determined with HOW you do it. Like I said earlier; you can be kind and still put your point accross. I understand sometimes we do associate things according to experiences we had or preconceived ideas we carry, I do that all the time. But we need to be open minded to fact that there are other ways of doing the same thing.
[QUOTE=mayoga;32770]we need to be open minded to fact that there are other ways of doing the same thing.[/QUOTE]
Absolutely.
I agree with what’s been said here , and what i was going to add.
That you can be honest and direct with people but deliver or say in such a way that is gentle and not agressive or indeed combative etc etc.
I used to say if folk landed uniinvited on the door-step " i am actually quite busy right now. " i.e busy with having some time to myself,not entertaining people. etc Eventually they tend to get the idea and stop coming round.Fortunately i don’t experience such an issue , currently in my life, if you like…I think you can be tactful and truthful and completely honest without being combative.Like i say how you say something in as much as what you say. The tone of your voice,inflexion,vibration,lightheartedness,humour,intention,charm etc.
Edit: As i say, i don’t (really) experience that anymore, partly because all my friends are all you guys here…:):D:(
:eek:…lol
CITYMONK If you don’t like this guy don’t let him come to the house. You deserve to be around nice people.
Don’t be a martyr, you won’t be resurrected!
[QUOTE=YogiAdam;32749]I feel I should echo an earlier point… The only way to develop patience is with people who force you to practice patience. .[/QUOTE]
I thought so TOO…
Today found this in Hatha Yoga Pradipika:
“gossiping with people who has low morals,base consciousness and sensous desires can not enlighten your soul, rather , their negative vibrations may influence you. soCial situations and irrelevant discussions destruct the mind”
and
“you may find it useless to mix with people who has lower aspirations. The less you involve yourself with others, the more your inner knowledge can grow. Sadhaka should not consider others as inferior, but until mental, emotional and psychic resistance are developed, IT IS BETTER TO STAY AWAY FROM SOCIAL INTERACTIONS AND NEGATIVE INFLUENCES”.
[QUOTE=core789;32826]I agree with what’s been said here , and what i was going to add.
That you can be honest and direct with people but deliver or say in such a way that is gentle and not agressive or indeed combative etc etc.
I used to say if folk landed uniinvited on the door-step " i am actually quite busy right now. " l[/QUOTE]
I think this is little of-topic, but I just wan you to feel what lind of person I’m dealing with:
I told her “im busy” on time and she said that she wont bother me. she stayed and continued to bad-word about some (unknown to me) girl from work, about her husband, about some “stupid” people she met, about impossible fat people, about whatever…
One time I said that I really need to go. She asked for a glass of water, when she asked to use the scales and the restroom and ipstick. How can you refuse that water and restroom! Impossible. . . .So I let her and It took her 15 minutes. I was already in the car, but she still was in the garage wondering about some staff on the shelfs and wanted to borrow some, just for the valid reason to come back.
One day I decided not to pick up the phone. I was having a great morning sitting quietly in my yard. Suddenly she appeared behind my back and called my name very loud. I jumped! She said that she was calling me ALL MORNING and (of course) I did not pick up the phone. So she decided that something BAD happened to me and I need her help! So she came over, enter through the open door, walked in to the yard, and almost screwed up all my day! :evil:
What a great person to practice patience with!
[QUOTE=CityMonk;32916]What a great person to practice patience with![/QUOTE]
Amazing! You are the real deal!! 
Hey city, what if you were to engage in conversatin with her, talk like she talks, act lke she acts. SOme may say not to do something such as that as words have power and gossip is bad. Personally I used to think gossip was bad, I hated it with a passion. Now I accept it and look at it like “it gives them something to talk about and if that is what they want to talk about, fine” does this mean I dont tune people out when they say something, nope, sometimes I do when I have had enough.
if you engage in the conversation with her, your words would come from a different space. for example if I laugh at you and say “your so crazy citymonk, you and your fancy paintings and lotus poses, I bet you hug trees too” You may actually respond to that by sayhing that you do hug trees, which If I had to guess you have probably done that from time to time. or if I say “you are F@#Kin crazy with your stupid yoga” both statements call you crazy and make fun of yoga, so in the wording they are very similar but in meaning and tone very different. So instead of fight her, maybe join her in the conversation. Personally I think its ok to make fun of people, but of course I do have certain boundaries that I prefer not to cross.
BTW, can you believe that Rob Dyrdek spent $250 for each grilled chease sandwhich to try and win and grilled cheese cook off, he must be nuts to spend that kind of money making grilled cheese.
[QUOTE=Brother Neil;33084]Hey city, what if you were to engage in conversatin with her, talk like she talks, act lke she acts. the conversation. [/QUOTE]
Oh! She would love that! She would stay in my house forewer…
Anyways, this was just an extreme example, since I do not like to dicsuss unreal hypothetic situations.
[B]The question is still the same:
Do we need to put up with some people and practice our patience or we need to stay away from them ( as Swatmarama advised) [/B]
If they cause you mental troubles - good advice from svatmarama i think.
If they cause you no mental troubles - who cares?
[QUOTE=CityMonk;33222]Oh! She would love that! She would stay in my house forewer…
Anyways, this was just an extreme example, since I do not like to dicsuss unreal hypothetic situations.
[B]The question is still the same:
Do we need to put up with some people and practice our patience or we need to stay away from them ( as Swatmarama advised) [/B][/QUOTE]
Maybe you would become better friends and she may shift, you wont know unless you try, as your assumption is speculation
The only way to destroy your enemies, is make them your friends.